You may know me as Bill...
or Dave , or Ken , or Slim Shady ,
or whatever the heck
I told you my damn name was .
Welcome to my humble site !
Scroll down past the bla bla bla
for the contents of herein .

in't the Internet great ?
It's better than Cable , but cheaper ,
more addictive , and you get to see what you want .
A great wealth of education can be had ,
masses of information are available to all ,
in the privacy of their own homes ,
like how to make terrorist bombs ,
or which porn sites are free .
Hell , the Web allows , even encourages
poor-ass losers like me to create a Webpage .
Cool , huh ?

his site was built with my bare paws .
Absolutely no lazy boys' programs were used ,
I had to learn all that HTML crap from scratch .
This site hosts no frames , tables ,
nor any other friggin' furniture .
You wan't find any Javascript or such ,
I don't even have a damn Counter .

a with any half-way decent website ,
this one is currently under heavy constuction .
I'm in the middle of a major overhaul ,
please bear with me .
I've gotten a little older , learned more ,
my hair is getting grayer , my pecs saggier .
I've changed , and so must my site .

hat kind of Dog am I ?
Physically , I'm of medium build , 5'10" ,
about 190 lbs. , salt and pepper hair ,
green eyes , average looks .
I sport no tattoos , no piercings ,
this ol' Dog has enough holes and discolorations .
If that's what you're here for ,
just look at my damn pix , Dumb-ass !

his ol' Dog resides smack dab
in the middle of the fine state of Florida .
The Boonies , B.F.E. , to be exact .
A fool for the Arts and Sciences , that I am .
I'm poor as Hell, and ain't got a bit of sense .
That about wraps it up .