Valiant and Jo

I once knew a boy... No. Not a boy. Well, not a boy to me at least.

He was a mystery to the whole school. One day he just suddenly appeared, out of nowhere, in the halls. He walked with a sleek assurance of himself. To me he was instantly a god.

No one else had ever dared break every taboo in existence in our school on the first day he walked the halls... He wasn’t very tall; maybe five feet ten inches in all... His hair was dyed red. The color was in no way natural in appearance. It blazed like a fire against his ghostly pale skin and was parted to his left, ending in sharp points above his eyebrows. Crowning his head was a knit cap weaved together with threads that were the six colors of the rainbow... His limbs were long and lanky, yet they moved about him with an undefined grace that defied all concepts of conformity that were embraced by the other boys in my class.

Like his hair, his eyebrows also were not natural. Truth be told, he had none but what he’d drawn onto his forehead. They were too thin to belong on a man, yet they fit him as if he’d been born with them penciled on.

He had very distinct cheekbones that seemed to define his whole face, but what I will never forget, so long as I live, about his face, were his eyes. They were blue... But not in a blue-eyed manner. They were too dark for most to notice. They seemed to shift color from blue to grey to black and then back to blue, as he walked. They were also framed by a silver pair of glasses. Upon his lips was a grin of confidence that seemed to dare anyone challenge the way he looked or walked or carried himself.

This challenge was further pushed by his attire. He wore a simple tight black T-shirt that hugged his features like it was in love with him. On his right arm was a tattoo. At first glance it seemed to be some matter of tribal marking... But, if one looked closer, they would notice it was a faerie spreading pixie magick from it’s wings. His pants, like his shirt, were tight and black. On his feet were black boots. His step was confident and sure. His left arm was tucked neatly behind his back in the manner of Victorian gentlemen, while his right arm swung carelessly at his side. He wore a necklace which I’m sure sparked much talk among the rest of the students. It, like the rest of his outfit, was simple. It was nothing more than a black strip of leather with a pentagram at the end. His long arms ended in hands that were much smaller than most men have. The fingers were long and gentle. He wore two rings. On his left ring-finger rested a gold ring that was decorated with Sapphires, Rubies, and Emeralds. On his right index finger was a ring that was the most extravagant item he wore. It was silver and was of an almost occult design. It was big and almost gaudy and seemed to be a claw sticking up a good inch from his knuckle. On closer examination, though, it seemed less like a claw and more like a face. The claw was the nose of whatever sort of creature whose face the ring was. What looked like minor claws protruding from the base seemed to be the chin of the face and the point of it’s Jester-like cap. His nails were painted a shocking silver.

I didn’t realize I was staring until he was at my side...

“Why do you stare at me so, Boy?” His face was a mixture of mystery and delight. Mine turned crimson just having him standing near me. I could feel the words I wanted to say creeping to the front of my mind, but I had no way of putting them to sound. He merely grinned. “You’re as lost here as I should be.” His eyes narrowed. “Well, I’ll share a secret with you: I’m not real. I’m here for your education in the ways of the world outside...” At this I smiled and shook my head. “Well, do you talk or are you mute?”

“Sorry... I’m Jo.” He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders as he brought his face close to my ear to whisper to me although no one had noticed and no one was listening.

“Valiant. Valiant Darke.” His eyes brightened. “But, do call me Val.”

I could go on forever about the scandal he roused in the school... But I choose not to. That is not meant to be in the context of the story.

Valiant and I were fast friends. He would come over quite often. He charmed my grandmother and mother. He never met my father.

Val liked the same things I did. We would sit for hours at a time listening to CD’s most guys our age never would. Old music. Written long before our birth and which would be around long after.

I sensed we had a connection on a level deeper than the surface would allow...

He would spend the night constantly. Long nights they proved to be. Sometimes after we’d gone to bed, we would simply lay there beneath the coverings and talk until one or the other of us would fall into a deep sleep... I felt most comfortable when he was sleeping by my side...

One night, there was something in the air as we sat in bed together. He wore black boxer-briefs and I wore burgundy briefs. There was no need for more. We were completely comfortable around each other.

I wasn’t sure what it was I felt, but it felt both good and bad. I felt like grinning and crying at the same time... Stranger still was that it felt perfectly natural. Val could sense my mixed feelings. He stared long at me, his eyes never blinking and seeming to give off a warmth. His lips smiled and I smiled. His eyes brightened and mine produced tears.

His arms reached out and wrapped around me. I realized that what I was feeling was love on the one hand... On the other, I could sense that he was leaving me... He rocked me back and forth in his arms and held his head close to mine while resting his chin on my shoulder...

“Val don’t leave me... ever...” The tears ran down my cheeks wetting his face as they slid down... His arms never left me as he slightly pulled away and looked deep into my eyes, calming me slightly...

“Jo, I’m in you. Leaving would be hard, and that’s why I’m not. You may not see me again for quite a while... And when you do, it will be in the most unexpected place... But when you do, you will realize we were never apart...”

“I don’t understand.”

“And you won’t for some time... But I promise you: you will understand someday. Now, come, let’s sleep...” We laid down and pulled the coverings up over us. He turned toward me as I leaned into him. Our lips touched and separated. I could feel his intent stare in the dark. He cradled the back of my head in his hand as he leaned in again and kissed me, this time with our mouths open. It felt honest. Real. His kiss filled my whole body with a warmth I’d never felt before and haven’t since. Although my eyes were closed, I could see a white light surrounding us. In my mind’s eye I saw it turning us into mere light and energy. Our body’s seemed to fuse together...

I fell asleep in his embrace. I don’t remember falling asleep.

I awoke alone, in the embrace of the coverings. I cried to know that he was gone. But, I still dressed and prepared for school as usual.

At school, I kept expecting him to walk around every corner and embrace me again.

It was like this for months after...

Time passed. Valiant never left my mind completely. His form never faded, but the memories became harder and harder to recall... Over time, I became active in more and more events and soon he passed into memory...

I graduated from the only school I ever attended the next year. I somehow ended up on the Honor Student list. I made my parents proud. For once.

During the summer I moved to Florida to start a new life. It was a new place and a new life, but it was neither ready for me not I for it... I had relationships with men that didn’t last... Some I loved dearly; some not... All have since passed into memory...

I left Florida before I had even been there a half a year. I was scared of failing and decided to give up... Ironic.

I moved back to Arkansas and got a job at a restaurant. I dated men who said they loved me... Their love was hollow though and it made me bitter...

The summer after I moved back to Arkansas, I moved to Memphis. I made new friends and worked in one of the gay clubs there. I became a part of the night life.

Every other week or so, I would visit Mom... And then go back to work...

October came and everything changed. My job had become nerve-wracking and exhausting. My boss was never satisfied with the job I did. And so I left the club. I worked my last night and left the owner a note explaining the situation, and my keys to the club, on the bar, and walked out...

The next day I learned from my roommate that our building was being sold and he wasn’t sure he wanted to make a new lease with the new owners or if he just wanted to leave Memphis...

It was the week that would end with Halloween. This was the very same week that I gave up on Florida and moved back to Arkansas just the previous year. Once more, my world turned upside-down.

I had just about decided to give up.

But morning came again, as it always seems to do, and I was preparing for a new day once more... A new day filled with the same old stuff... My aching bones slowly adjusted to not laying down and my muscles groaned.

I went into the bathroom and showered. Afterward, I picked out my outfit and went into my room to dress in front of the big mirror. I stood naked before the mirror observing how my body had changed since school. I was no longer the fat, uncomfortable creature I had been then... But I still couldn’t make it... I felt I was lacking something in my life that was keeping me from progressing...

I shook the thought from my head and pulled on my boxer-briefs from Structure, then my black socks. Next came the black pants I’d grown so accustomed to wearing. I tightened the waist with the army belt my ex, Tim, had given me. I rolled up my black T and put my head through, followed by my arms. It hugged me like an old lover. I brushed my hair back and set about drawing on my eyebrows. When that was finished I parted my hair as usual and pulled on my knit cap that mom said looked sort of nerdy, but looked good on me. I slipped my necklace on and my new gold ring. A lonely older man had bought it for me for being his friend when no one else would give him a chance. My boots were on and laced and tied next. I had stood up again and was examining myself in the mirror, when something caught my eye on the edge of the dresser. It was a ring. Big and gaudy. Made of silver. I slipped it onto my index finger and tested the sharpness of what looked like either a long bent nose or a claw.

When I looked back into the mirror, a familiar face was staring back at me. His lips curled up into his usual smile of confidence and his eyes shone their dark blue from behind the silver frames of his glasses. I touched my face and he echoed me. When I smiled he smiled.

And when I leaned in to kiss the cold glass of the mirror, I felt -instead of hard glass- his soft lips and felt the warm white light surround us once more...

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