Argentinum
Your Time Is Gonna Come ~ Led Zeppelin | Entrance | Table of Contents | Purpose | Preperation | Daily Actions | Playing God... Sound like blasphemy? Yet, we are all guilty. There is not a one of us who does not "play God" at least part of the time, in our own affairs and in those of others... Throughout each assignment, we will explore various ways in which we exhault ourselves as supreme beings in our minute imaginings of grandeur ~ how this has failed us, and caused problems for ourselves and others. Be Responsible For Yourself While there is much in life you cannot control, you are the only one who can control your decisions and actions. Healthy, happy individuals assume responsibility for their own well-being by setting realistic goals and personal limits, by utilizing problem-solving skills and knowing when to say "no" and when to ask for help. The first step is to make a decision to eliminate blame from your way of thinking. Regardless of what part another may play in your unhappiness or misfortune, we each also have a part in our own success or failure. Blaming is a cop-out; it is a way to remain a victim, to remain a helpless, pitiful, angry failure. Blame is the way we avoid taking responsibility for our lives. The truth is, your life is your fault, just as my life is my fault. Ultimately, we each are accountable for our own mental and emotional well-being. If you are unhappy with your life, you are the only one who can change it... but probably not in the manner you've tried before. Assignment One: Make a list of people, places, things, and situations in your life you have attempted to change and/or control, without success. If you find yourself feeling resentful and treated unfairly by those whom you do the most for; those whom you try to please by being generous with your time, attention, and deeds ~ ask yourself, "Why?" "Virtue is its own reward; thus, giving is its own reward. When virtue recognizes itself as a virtue, it becomes a vice." ~ Chuck Chamberlin When we choose our actions based on the response we expect to receive from others, then our generosity is a fake. We tell ourselves, and sometimes others, "Look at all I do for them!" We, of course, do these things for others with the intent of knowing what's best. This is not only martyrdom, but it may very well be one way we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of. This attitude enables us to feel slighted, and at the same time, it makes us feel somehow superior. We may even find ourselves occassionally lashing out in self-righteous indignation at the ungrateful, selfish people in our lives; the ones who take from us without matching our generosity in return. We then often fall into one of two traps, or perhaps, fluctuate between the two: critisizing and condemning others, or ourselves. We may feel justifiably angry as we tally-up scores. We may then feel ashamed of our attitudes and guilt tells us how unworthy we are; that we have messed things up too badly for even God to repair. "With God, all things are possible..." These are some of the ways in which we play god; forms of manipulation, attempting to control others to get what we want. Or believing we're so powerful that we've just ruined everything. Kindness and generosity can be just as manipulative and selfish in motive as overt coercion... and it's definitely more deceitful. When we do and give with specific expectations of return, we are no more being selfless, nor truly "giving" than if we were to come right out and demand certain rewards. In truth, it would be far less manipulative to honestly let those in our lives know exactly what we want and expect from them. When we are able to focus on what we truly believe is the right thing to do, rather than on trying to earn rewards, we will then know what it is to be generous; to give without strings attached, and without the resentments of disappointment. "I find that much of the time, I don't even know what's best for myself ~ I certainly can't know what's best for another adult." Once you have completed the suggested list for Assignment One, then write out your answers to the following questions: Why do I want to change that person or situation? Why is it unacceptable? Why am I fighting it? How would the change benefit me? Why have I been unable to let it go? Am I simply refusing to accept the facts of the situation? Do I secretly hope the problem will go away, or do I somehow feel that I am responsible to make things "right"? Do I believe I would be happy... "If the person or situation were to change"? How have my attitudes and actions aggravated and/or perpetuated the problem? Is this person/situation detrimental to my well-being? If so, can I avoid the person or situation? If not, what can I do to make the best of a bad situation? What measures have I taken to change my own thoughts, attitudes, and actions? Take quiet time to focus strictly on why you respond the way you do to these troubling areas in your life. Why do you participate when it is so unsettling and so futile? Can you see where your responsibilites end and another's begin? The first truth you must accept is that you do not have the power, nor the right to control other people. In most situations, the only real control you have is over your own choices. Yes, we "always" have a choice. Resist the temptation to focus on the person or situation. Concentrate on your own reactions, emotions, attitudes and motives. When you realize a truth about yourself, write it down. Within my spirit is the voice of my own will and also that of God's will. I struggle daily with self-will, as the things that I do are the very things that cause me shame and regret, while my own values and priorities are the things I do not do. I find myself doing things that I hate, and not doing things that are good. The desire to do good is with me, but I don't seem to know how to perform that which is good. My spirit is willing, but I give into my own weaknesses. Romans 7:15-19 (paraphrased) Chances are, you won't be able to redirect your motivations immediately, but awareness is the beginning. Ultimately, the goal is to uncover, discover, and discard all that which is trapping us in our present state of affairs. However, this is a process, much like peeling an onion ~ pulling away the layers of pride, selfishness, blame, and justifications. And the core of all human problems is selfishness and self-centeredness, though most of us don't think so. As we continue, hopefully you will see how self-centeredness works undercover in all our lives, masquerading behind the false veil of "good intention" or, at the other extreme, "helplessness". Once you have made your list and answered these questions to the best of your ability, put your notebook away. Continue with the Daily Plan of Action and then go back to your notebook after a few days and read over your responses. If you think of anything else, write it down. You may then go on the next assignment. Any problem I have is a God-problem... Therefore, every solution is a God-solution. Turn the page to God Concepts Thank You For Visting... ImageQuest (© copyright-Gayla L. Pledger) Argentinum Guest Book Courtesy of: BraveNet This site is owned and maintained by Gayla Pledger. (© copyright-Gayla L. Pledger) All Rights Reserved Biblical References for this assignment: Psalms 103:14; Romans 13:1; John 5:19 & 30.
Sound like blasphemy? Yet, we are all guilty. There is not a one of us who does not "play God" at least part of the time, in our own affairs and in those of others... Throughout each assignment, we will explore various ways in which we exhault ourselves as supreme beings in our minute imaginings of grandeur ~ how this has failed us, and caused problems for ourselves and others.
Throughout each assignment, we will explore various ways in which we exhault ourselves as supreme beings in our minute imaginings of grandeur ~ how this has failed us, and caused problems for ourselves and others.
While there is much in life you cannot control, you are the only one who can control your decisions and actions. Healthy, happy individuals assume responsibility for their own well-being by setting realistic goals and personal limits, by utilizing problem-solving skills and knowing when to say "no" and when to ask for help. The first step is to make a decision to eliminate blame from your way of thinking. Regardless of what part another may play in your unhappiness or misfortune, we each also have a part in our own success or failure. Blaming is a cop-out; it is a way to remain a victim, to remain a helpless, pitiful, angry failure. Blame is the way we avoid taking responsibility for our lives. The truth is, your life is your fault, just as my life is my fault. Ultimately, we each are accountable for our own mental and emotional well-being. If you are unhappy with your life, you are the only one who can change it... but probably not in the manner you've tried before.
Make a list of people, places, things, and situations in your life you have attempted to change and/or control, without success. If you find yourself feeling resentful and treated unfairly by those whom you do the most for; those whom you try to please by being generous with your time, attention, and deeds ~ ask yourself, "Why?"
If you find yourself feeling resentful and treated unfairly by those whom you do the most for; those whom you try to please by being generous with your time, attention, and deeds ~ ask yourself, "Why?"
When we choose our actions based on the response we expect to receive from others, then our generosity is a fake. We tell ourselves, and sometimes others, "Look at all I do for them!" We, of course, do these things for others with the intent of knowing what's best. This is not only martyrdom, but it may very well be one way we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of. This attitude enables us to feel slighted, and at the same time, it makes us feel somehow superior. We may even find ourselves occassionally lashing out in self-righteous indignation at the ungrateful, selfish people in our lives; the ones who take from us without matching our generosity in return. We then often fall into one of two traps, or perhaps, fluctuate between the two: critisizing and condemning others, or ourselves. We may feel justifiably angry as we tally-up scores. We may then feel ashamed of our attitudes and guilt tells us how unworthy we are; that we have messed things up too badly for even God to repair.
These are some of the ways in which we play god; forms of manipulation, attempting to control others to get what we want. Or believing we're so powerful that we've just ruined everything. Kindness and generosity can be just as manipulative and selfish in motive as overt coercion... and it's definitely more deceitful. When we do and give with specific expectations of return, we are no more being selfless, nor truly "giving" than if we were to come right out and demand certain rewards. In truth, it would be far less manipulative to honestly let those in our lives know exactly what we want and expect from them. When we are able to focus on what we truly believe is the right thing to do, rather than on trying to earn rewards, we will then know what it is to be generous; to give without strings attached, and without the resentments of disappointment.
Why is it unacceptable?
Why am I fighting it?
How would the change benefit me?
Why have I been unable to let it go?
Am I simply refusing to accept the facts of the situation?
Do I secretly hope the problem will go away, or do I somehow feel that I am responsible to make things "right"?
Do I believe I would be happy... "If the person or situation were to change"?
How have my attitudes and actions aggravated and/or perpetuated the problem?
Is this person/situation detrimental to my well-being? If so, can I avoid the person or situation?
If not, what can I do to make the best of a bad situation?
What measures have I taken to change my own thoughts, attitudes, and actions?
Take quiet time to focus strictly on why you respond the way you do to these troubling areas in your life. Why do you participate when it is so unsettling and so futile? Can you see where your responsibilites end and another's begin? The first truth you must accept is that you do not have the power, nor the right to control other people. In most situations, the only real control you have is over your own choices. Yes, we "always" have a choice. Resist the temptation to focus on the person or situation. Concentrate on your own reactions, emotions, attitudes and motives. When you realize a truth about yourself, write it down. Within my spirit is the voice of my own will and also that of God's will. I struggle daily with self-will, as the things that I do are the very things that cause me shame and regret, while my own values and priorities are the things I do not do. I find myself doing things that I hate, and not doing things that are good. The desire to do good is with me, but I don't seem to know how to perform that which is good. My spirit is willing, but I give into my own weaknesses. Romans 7:15-19 (paraphrased)
Within my spirit is the voice of my own will and also that of God's will. I struggle daily with self-will, as the things that I do are the very things that cause me shame and regret, while my own values and priorities are the things I do not do. I find myself doing things that I hate, and not doing things that are good. The desire to do good is with me, but I don't seem to know how to perform that which is good. My spirit is willing, but I give into my own weaknesses. Romans 7:15-19 (paraphrased)
Chances are, you won't be able to redirect your motivations immediately, but awareness is the beginning. Ultimately, the goal is to uncover, discover, and discard all that which is trapping us in our present state of affairs. However, this is a process, much like peeling an onion ~ pulling away the layers of pride, selfishness, blame, and justifications. And the core of all human problems is selfishness and self-centeredness, though most of us don't think so. As we continue, hopefully you will see how self-centeredness works undercover in all our lives, masquerading behind the false veil of "good intention" or, at the other extreme, "helplessness". Once you have made your list and answered these questions to the best of your ability, put your notebook away. Continue with the Daily Plan of Action and then go back to your notebook after a few days and read over your responses. If you think of anything else, write it down. You may then go on the next assignment.
God Concepts
ImageQuest (© copyright-Gayla L. Pledger)
Guest Book Courtesy of: BraveNet
Biblical References for this assignment: Psalms 103:14; Romans 13:1; John 5:19 & 30.
