welcome to... THE KENNEL CLUB

"we exist to have fun, entice rabid fan support and heighten awareness of the New Jersey Red Dogs and the Arena Football League..." - IKE

Name - Robert Cornelius Beyer Position - Historian Height - 5' 10" Weight - 178 lbs. College - U.S. Air Force Academy, Doctorate in Sociopathic Behavior Nickname - "BaBa Bob" Heroes - Larry Flint, Raymond Babbit & Calvin Klein Hobbies - German opera, home acupuncture and trying new deodorants. Occupation - CFO of Beyer Publishing Inc., one of the world's largest producers of lap cards.

Personal - Bob was born in Farnsworth, North Dakota, into a strictly disciplined military family. His father is a retired Colonel in the U.S. Army Air Corps and his mother is a manipulative shrew. As a youth, his family moved frequently from base to base, so Bob never had a friend for longer than six months. Consequently, Bob hates people and is awkward in any social situation. He is colorblind and is often beaten up for cheering for the wrong team at sporting events. Bob was chosen as Kennel Club Historian for his keen sense of detail. He is an anal-retentive introvert who cataloged his entire collection of adult magazines, arranging all 794 issues by the birthdate of the centerfold (even though Hustler is his favorite). The cans of soup in his cupboard are sorted by the amount of sodium that they each contain (largest to smallest). When he purchases ice cream, he carefully cuts them up and re-arranges the flavors. They all must be vanilla, strawberry, then chocolate. Bob is a decorated war veteran who bravely served three tours of duty to free the oppressed people of Grenada. He was an Air Force fighter pilot and had ten confirmed kills (2 MIGs, 2 HIND attack helicopters, 2 weather balloons, a kite, the Goodyear Blimp, a UFO and a duck). After leaving the military, Bob became a world-renowned author writing such famous works as How To Cheat At Casinos, For Dummies and Lodi, New Jersey on $50 A Day...

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