This time, two hicks imprison Baloo, Kit, and WildCat in a small town and try to force them to work in a mine - digging up a priceless mineral called "Eurgonium". As can be expected, all flaming heck breaks loose when, in order to save their furry butts, WildCat impersonates Shere Khan, who owns the mine!

Wow! Here I am again! I was wondering where I went.

Okay, here we go, kids.

This episode started out so nice. Flying through the desert, WildCat (if you don't know who that is, see "Paradise Lost", under "speed freak", and "Last Horizons", under "author of" ) chucking rotten fruit at errant land masses, Baloo griping WildCat out for chucking rotten fruit at errant land masses, Kit wondering why WildCat is chucking rotten fruit at errant land masses...(actually, the show ends with WildCat chucking fruit at errant flying hicks, but that's later.)

Anyway, they crash, and after that the show turns into the "get out the gimp" scene from "Pulp Fiction". Honestly, I was so afraid that those kids were going to run into a gun shop only to be horribly violated by a bunch of lonely hicks, seeing as Clementine seems to be only woman in town. Where were they? Nogales? Parhump?

That pig guy was one ugly mutha. Although he had some jewels. "You're so stupid that if it was raining soup you'd fetch a fork", and , "Maybe (WildCat) wanted to get lost. That Clementine is a whole lotta woman", which takes the long lost Sumptin-Sumptin award for today. I could barely believe the censors let that fly. Hee hee hee hee. The pig's little, ahem, "friend" (see under "Xena and Gabby") was a dumb....dumb guy.

Did I like Clementine? Yes. She was moderately cool to cool, and I thought she made a good mate for Wildcat. (By the way, she's in my fanfic. Those of you who were paying attention, write me and tell me where she was. I'll put your name up in lights.) But when she falls into the horse trough and says "After her bath a girl is ready for anything", I was kinda like "Um, yeah Clem, you bathe in horse troughs often?"

Just goes to show, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make her....bathe.

Oh My God. I haven't gushed about Shere yet. Excuse me while I go get a thermometer, I must be ill. Speaking of Shere, I'm sorry, but WildCat looks NOTHING LIKE HIM!!!! I was just sitting there with an insulted puss on my face, going, "Oh, yeah, right." Even at the end, with Shere's "You mistook him....for me?" I got a kick out of that, because that was exactly how I felt! But then again, I remembered that Baloo and WildCat were dealing with Notsmarts, so that probably had something to do with it. I've heard inbreeding causes colorblindness....

Okay, let's make a little list, shall we? Here we go:

WILDCAT AND SHERE KHAN: SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES
By KarmaCat, Who Would Know

1) WildCat: A little, round basketball-esque pot/beer belly.
Shere: Washboard.

2) WildCat: Legally insane
Shere: Illegally wealthy

3) WildCat: Kinda small
Shere: Kinda big

4) WildCat: Squeaky, pitch shifting voice.
Shere: Rumbling baritone

5) WildCat: Interested in having "intimate relations" with Clementine
Shere: Did shortly after. (My #*& "I like you even better!")

6) WildCat: Can fix a broken machine in thirty seconds or less.
Shere: Um....can....'t do that. But he filled the limo's gas tank once. I swear! I saw him do it! (He looked at me sweetly and said "I haven't filled up a car myself since I was in high school." And then I took him back to my apartment and we did some more stuff he hadn't done since high school.)

See? Okay, that resolves that issue, n'est pas? Oui. Although WildCat's impersonation of Shere was, I admit, pretty funny. "Billiards would be divine". Shere does like to play pool, actually. :)

Anyway, it's about time this review came to a close, because my bee-hind is sore from sitting. Long and short of it, the hicks tried to off WildCat thinking he was Shere so they could get away with the exploding mineral Eurgonium, and make a fortune, but Shere found out because Clementine called him on a broken phone, and then he came and uncovered the whole thing, and was sexy because you see that he doesn't abuse his workers, and repaid Baloo for his lost fruit shipment, and watched WildCat and Clementine make out, as did Kit and Baloo.

The end!

I will now go have dinner.

Later,
KarmaCat

hey, did you guys see the new link to the TaleSpin chat? Maybe I'll host "KarmaCat's KarmaChat!" I'll see about it. In the meantime, Orly and Sarabi say hi to all ya'll, as does LaRoca, and Arson, who also says she's going to kill everybody who doesn't read the fanfic.

Bye now, sweet children.

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