Ongoing Memory Creation
Click on the photos
to go to the associated sites.
Parents can continue to make memories even after their baby is buried.
But I would like to also stress that this ideas list can also be used for
bereaved parents who for whatever reason don't have any concrete mementos
of their baby:
-
Personalize a piece of jewellry
-
Tatoo: of an angel, butterfly, or the baby’s name
-
Flowers that are blooming around the time of the baby’s death or due
date may be used to symbolise the baby’s presence around anniversary times
or when taking family photos. Parents may also wish to dry or press the
flowers they receive. This crystal rose could be engraved with the baby's
name or simply placed on a mantelpiece in memory of your child.
-
Birthstones can also be used. Parents can purchase jewelry with the
baby’s birth stone in it or purchase clothing with the colour of the stone
to wear to feel close to the baby especially on anniversary days.
-
The baby’s date of birth or due date can be used for PIN numbers and
other identification numbers you might use in every day life.
-
One bereaved mother chose a star to symbolise her baby. She has star
jewelry, star clothing, named a star (yes, a real, up in the heavens star!)
after which she received a certificate giving the location and the new
name of the star. She now plans to make leadlight windows in her
house featuring stars. She says “For me the STAR thing has been the
best creation of memories for us. It will go on forever, I buy star everything,
which gives me that sense of doing something for Robert, putting him into
photos & including him in our everyday lives.” Such memory creation
can be generated well after the baby dies, even years later.
-
Some parents like to light candles in memory of their baby. One bereaved
family was able to specially order a meter high candle with the baby’s
name, date of birth and death as well as embossing other baby
motifs on it. Alternatively, a special candleholder can be used I
have an angel candle holder. Candles may be lit on anniversary days. One
mother says this when she lights the candle “This candle is a
symbol of love and life; a love that can never be extinguished and a life
that was extinguished too soon”. This
site which is still under construction will shortly be a site where
you can order candles with photos/images.
-
Many parents gain comfort from remembering their baby at Christmas time.
They may purchase a special ornament for their Christmas tree or perhaps
will buy an “age specific” ornament as each year goes by. Some parents
will buy a gift for the Salvation Army, or other charity, for a child who
is the age their child would have been.
-
Some parents will sponsor a disadvantaged child from overseas, it is
usually possible to arrange to sponsor a child who has the same birthday
as the baby who died.
-
A crystal vase engraved with the baby’s name and date of birth may be
filled with flowers on anniversary days.
-
Many parents place a photo of their baby in a locket along with a lock
of the baby’s hair. Enclose the lock in something waterproof so that it
doesn't wash away in the shower.
-
Most funeral directors offer a memory tree programme where bereaved
people can buy a tree in a forest in the name of the person who died.
-
The newspaper of the day the baby died or the baby’s due date can be
purchased. A birthday memorial can be placed in the paper as each year
passes and then clipped and kept.
-
Cards received can also be kept.
-
Parents may also decide to make a donation in memory of their baby.
This may be in the form of an appropriate book. The book can given to their
local library or support group library. Alternatively, money can be given
to a research foundation like Bonnie Babes, SANDS, or SIDS.
-
Order a certificate like this one
-
-
-
Set up an internet site!
-
Many bereaved parents create a memory garden for their baby in their
home garden. This is especially true if they have taken their baby’s ashes
home. There are all sorts of plaques. statues etc you could put in such
a garden:
-
Order a personalized baby
blanket
-
If you have a photo of your baby have an artist draw a portrait or aspect
of the photo:
-
Order porcelaine baby shoes with your child's details like those below:
