A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2 boy kittens & 2 girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom."

Another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I KNOW they're my feet."

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

Can people predict the future with cards? My mother can. Really? Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN"

Where's the English Channel? I don't know our television doesn't pick it up.

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw theflood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned becausewe were all up on the mountains looking for Chad when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescuejeeps.It was neat. We never would have found Chad in the dark if it hadn'tbeen for the lightning. Scoutmaster Don got mad at Chad for going on ahike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but itwas during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.

Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of ourclothes. David is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Don gets the car fixed.It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when weleft. Scoutmaster Don said that with a car that old you have to expectsomething to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fender. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer untilthe highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Don is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver.In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive on the mountain roads wherethere isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming outin the lake. Scoutmaster Don wouldn't let me because I can't swim, andChad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take thecanoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of thetrees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Don isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even getmad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working onthe car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how atourniquet works.

Wade and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Don said it probably was just foodpoisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that waywith food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became ourscoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done betterwhile he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy somemore beer. Don't worry about anything, we are fine.