Next Step from Index Page | Thinking/Talking Technique #01 | Thinking/Talking Technique #02 | Thinking/Talking Technique #03 | Index Page | thinking/Talking Technique #05 | My purpose is to introduce the escalation/de-escalation technique of "Catastrophic Thinking".
When an intense emotion like anger begins to "get our goat", we sometimes think certain patterns. These patterns have a tendency to escalate our anger level. "Catastrophic Thinking" is one pattern that escalates our level of anger. Becoming aware of how this pattern impacts us, gives us a personal power, an ability to DE-ESCALATE our level of anger and therefore moderate our expression of 'anger'.
"Catastrophic Thinking" is to exaggerate the importance of a negative event. Rather than being mildly annoyed over an event or behavior that is mildly inconvenient, we convince ourselves that it is "TERRIBLE." Sometimes we use words like; "ALWAYS" or "NEVER". The other person in the communication process will hear something like: "You Never do ..." or "You Always do ...". Neither statement is accurate and escalates our level of anger.
Want to do things differently? Make statements more precise and clear by indicating how often or how undesireable something is. Look for exceptions. Ask questions about the specifics of the situation. Avoid "never, always, everybody, nobody, what if, terrible, I can't stand it".
Example:

NOT