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Bringing Children to Worship

prepared by Rev. Wendy S. Bailey

This article is written and copyrigtht by Reverend Wendy S. Bailey and is reprinted here with her permission.

St. Paul's encourages parents (and grandparents) to bring their children to worship with them. Parents, children, other congregational members and even the pastors benefit when children are a normal and integral part of the worshipping comunity. 

How do adults benefit when children are in worship? 

There is nothing like the exhuberance of a child. The wonder, the enthusiasm, and the spontenaity of children remind adults of those qualities in God -- the mystery, the creative energy, and the presence of God here and now in our lives. Jesus once said to a group of adults, "Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3) Having children in worship with them helps adults remember what it means to be a "child" of God.

What are children going to get out of worship?

It's clear that children do not understand all of the symbols and words involved in worship, but then adults don't always either. Children subconsciously sense that worship has to do with who we are, who I am, and to whom we belong. Worship is the cornerstone of our identity as Christians. In worship children, even infants, experience love and begin to build a sense of belonging to a family of faith -- a community of believers. 

Should parents make children go to worship even if they don't want to?

Imagine a parent saying to a child, "I know you think brushing your teeth is boring; I don't want to risk turning you off to teeth brushing the rest of your life, so you don't have to brush today." Children are not equipped to make all the decisions about what is good or bad for them. Parents make their children brush their teeth and go to school and practice the piano; yet, when it comes to matters of faith, many parents allow their children to call the shots. Our Christian faith and identity is what living is all about. It is the very essence of our being. Our rootedness in Christ gives us the strength and resources to really excel in life. Parents need to let their children know that matters of faith are a priority in their lives.

How can I make my children more interested in worship? 

Most adults don't sit still in worship listening intently to every word. Adult's attention will drift in and out during a sermon or a prayer. We cannot expect any more from children. Here are some suggestions, however, to make worship more interesting for your children:
  1. Let your children know that worship is important to you. Children learn best by what their parents do. Children are also very good at reading feelings. If parents go to church out of a sense of duty or obligation, then their children will be less interested and more rebellious. Parents who love worship, look forward to it, and let their children know this will generally have children who share their love and interest. 
  2. "Quiet" Sunday mornings. In order to help make Sunday morning more pleasant and less hectic, do what you can to get ready for church the night before. Lay out your children's Sunday clothes and make plans for breakfast, etc. Help your children decide what to bring with them to church and set these aside ahead of time. When Sunday morning runs smoothly at home, children (and parents) are less likely to be grumpy in church. 
  3. Talk about worship. Talk about worship at home during the week. Let your children know that throughout the week you think about what went on in worship. Ask your children what was important to them about worship this week. 
  4. Have family worship times at home. Sunday worship will have more meaning for children if they worship at home as well. Learn the hymns and sing them at home. Pray together. Help your children learn the Lord's Prayer and/or Doxology. When these familiar things are used on Sunday mornings your child will recognize them and sing or pray along.

What if my child is noisy and disruptive?

Children are sometimes noisy and disruptive in worship. Most adults, especially if they are parents themselves, realize this and are understanding. Here are some things parents can do to help their child act appropriately: 
  1. Sit with care. Choose a seat with your child in mind. Infants and very young children are fascinated by the light of the stained glass windows. Older children like to be able to see and hear what is going on. Sit near an aisle so you can exit easily in case of "emergencies." Choose a pew which is not too crowded so that your child has room to be comfortable. 
  2. Feel free to leave the sanctuary if it is necessary. There are times when it is appropriate for a parent to take a child out of worship for a short period of time. When a child consistently acts in a manner inappropriate for worship (i.e. calls out loudly, runs up and down the aisle) or is very distressed for any reason (i.e. needs to use the rest room, is "dying" of thirst, or has a severe case of "ants in the pants") it is best to leave with the child. 
  3. Return to worship when you are able. When a child is taken out of worship because of disruption or a trip to the toilet, it is best to return to worship as soon as the child is calmed or the need is attended to. Before re-entering, be sure to assure your child of your continued affection and goodwill (especially if the child was sick or made some kind of scene). Return to worship as unobtrusively as possible. 
  4. Be prepared. Bring items with you that will help your child through the service. A "snack bag" of dry cereal and raisins, for instance, may be helpful in appeasing the hungry tummy before lunch. A pad of paper and crayons, a soft toy, a favorite book, or a bible story book may help a child appreciate worship. These "goodies" should be saved until needed, since they will probably only keep a child's interest for about 15 minutes. 
  5. Find a helper. A helper can be your spouse, a grandparent, or any other caring adult who agrees to help care for your child. The child may move to sit with the helper at an appropriate time during the service (the singing of a hymn, for instance). The helper should be prepared for the child with a warm embrace, a spot for the child to sit, a loving comment, and/or some item of interest (small toy, pencil and paper, or a piece of candy).

What can other adults do to help parents and children in worship?

Teaching children about worship and helping them feel comfortable in the worshipping community is not something left to parents alone. Everyone in the congregation plays an important role in welcoming children and letting them know they belong in the family of faith. Here are some things other adults can do to encourage children in worship: 
  1. Offer a smile. Let parents and children know that they are welcome. Give them a smile, a supportive glance or nod. Making eye contact with a child, even from a distance, and sharing a wink or smile can have a calming effect on children. Greet families after the service and tell them how glad you are that they are in worship. 
  2. Be a friend to children. Children and adults need friends of all ages. Children, especially, need adults other than their parents to talk with and ask questions of. Choose a particular child or two and seek them out each Sunday, ask about their week and listen to what they have to say. Adults, too, can learn a lot from children. During the week at church or in the neighborhood, take time to listen and talk with children. 
  3. Be a helper. Parents sometimes need help in caring for their children during worship. Offer to give a hand. Ask a child who is getting a bit restless to come and sit with you for a while. Be prepared with a snack (be sure to check this out with the parent ahead of time) or a small toy. Keys or a case from glasses can keep a kid occupied for a surprisingly long period of time. 
The church is the family of faith. As in all families we represent many generations. Together we must work at supporting each other and affirming each other so that we all know that we are loved and needed, and, most especially, that we belong in God's family._ 

This material has been prepared by Rev. Wendy S. Bailey -- June 1991

Much of this material has been adopted from the book, Parenting in the Pew, by Robbie Castleman. To buy the book, click here.

Please copy and distribute, but do not publish or use for profit without permission from the author.  To request permission, or to acknowledge the use of this material, email BaileyWS@collie.net

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