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Bringing
Children to Worship
prepared by Rev. Wendy S. Bailey |
This article is written and copyrigtht by Reverend Wendy S. Bailey and is reprinted here with her permission.
St. Paul's encourages parents (and grandparents) to bring their children to worship with them. Parents, children, other congregational members and even the pastors benefit when children are a normal and integral part of the worshipping comunity.
How do adults benefit when children are in worship?
There is nothing like the exhuberance of a child. The wonder, the enthusiasm, and the spontenaity of children remind adults of those qualities in God -- the mystery, the creative energy, and the presence of God here and now in our lives. Jesus once said to a group of adults, "Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3) Having children in worship
with them helps adults remember what it means to be a "child" of God.
What
are children going to get out of worship?
It's clear that children do not understand all of the symbols and words involved in worship, but then adults don't always either. Children subconsciously sense that worship has to do with who we are, who I am, and to whom we belong. Worship is the cornerstone of our identity as Christians. In worship children, even infants, experience love and begin to build a sense of belonging to a family of faith -- a community of believers.
Should
parents make children go to worship even if they don't want to?
Imagine a parent saying to a child,
"I know you think brushing your teeth is boring; I don't want to risk turning
you off to teeth brushing the rest of your life, so you don't have to brush
today." Children are not equipped to make all the decisions about what
is good or bad for them. Parents make their children brush their teeth
and go to school and practice the piano; yet, when it comes to matters
of faith, many parents allow their children to call the shots. Our Christian
faith and identity is what living is all about. It is the very essence
of our being. Our rootedness in Christ gives us the strength and resources
to really excel in life. Parents need to let their children know that matters
of faith are a priority in their lives.
How
can I make my children more interested in worship?
Most adults don't sit still in
worship listening intently to every word. Adult's attention will drift
in and out during a sermon or a prayer. We cannot expect any more from
children. Here are some suggestions, however, to make worship more interesting
for your children:
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Let your children know that worship
is important to you. Children learn best by what their parents do. Children
are also very good at reading feelings. If parents go to church out of
a sense of duty or obligation, then their children will be less interested
and more rebellious. Parents who love worship, look forward to it, and
let their children know this will generally have children who share their
love and interest.
-
"Quiet" Sunday mornings. In order
to help make Sunday morning more pleasant and less hectic, do what you
can to get ready for church the night before. Lay out your children's Sunday
clothes and make plans for breakfast, etc. Help your children decide what
to bring with them to church and set these aside ahead of time. When Sunday
morning runs smoothly at home, children (and parents) are less likely to
be grumpy in church.
-
Talk about worship. Talk about
worship at home during the week. Let your children know that throughout
the week you think about what went on in worship. Ask your children what
was important to them about worship this week.
-
Have family worship times at home.
Sunday worship will have more meaning for children if they worship at home
as well. Learn the hymns and sing them at home. Pray together. Help your
children learn the Lord's Prayer and/or Doxology. When these familiar things
are used on Sunday mornings your child will recognize them and sing or
pray along.
What
if my child is noisy and disruptive?
Children are sometimes noisy and
disruptive in worship. Most adults, especially if they are parents themselves,
realize this and are understanding. Here are some things parents can do
to help their child act appropriately:
-
Sit with care. Choose a seat with
your child in mind. Infants and very young children are fascinated by the
light of the stained glass windows. Older children like to be able to see
and hear what is going on. Sit near an aisle so you can exit easily in
case of "emergencies." Choose a pew which is not too crowded so that your
child has room to be comfortable.
-
Feel free to leave the sanctuary
if it is necessary. There are times when it is appropriate for a parent
to take a child out of worship for a short period of time. When a child
consistently acts in a manner inappropriate for worship (i.e. calls out
loudly, runs up and down the aisle) or is very distressed for any reason
(i.e. needs to use the rest room, is "dying" of thirst, or has a severe
case of "ants in the pants") it is best to leave with the child.
-
Return to worship when you are
able. When a child is taken out of worship because of disruption or a trip
to the toilet, it is best to return to worship as soon as the child is
calmed or the need is attended to. Before re-entering, be sure to assure
your child of your continued affection and goodwill (especially if the
child was sick or made some kind of scene). Return to worship as unobtrusively
as possible.
-
Be prepared. Bring items with
you that will help your child through the service. A "snack bag" of dry
cereal and raisins, for instance, may be helpful in appeasing the hungry
tummy before lunch. A pad of paper and crayons, a soft toy, a favorite
book, or a bible story book may help a child appreciate worship. These
"goodies" should be saved until needed, since they will probably only keep
a child's interest for about 15 minutes.
-
Find a helper. A helper can be
your spouse, a grandparent, or any other caring adult who agrees to help
care for your child. The child may move to sit with the helper at an appropriate
time during the service (the singing of a hymn, for instance). The helper
should be prepared for the child with a warm embrace, a spot for the child
to sit, a loving comment, and/or some item of interest (small toy, pencil
and paper, or a piece of candy).
What
can other adults do to help parents and children in worship?
Teaching children about worship
and helping them feel comfortable in the worshipping community is not something
left to parents alone. Everyone in the congregation plays an important
role in welcoming children and letting them know they belong in the family
of faith. Here are some things other adults can do to encourage children
in worship:
-
Offer a smile. Let parents and
children know that they are welcome. Give them a smile, a supportive glance
or nod. Making eye contact with a child, even from a distance, and sharing
a wink or smile can have a calming effect on children. Greet families after
the service and tell them how glad you are that they are in worship.
-
Be a friend to children. Children and adults need friends of all ages. Children, especially, need adults other than their parents to talk with and ask questions of. Choose a particular child or two and seek them out each Sunday, ask about their week and listen to what they have to say. Adults, too, can learn a lot from children. During
the week at church or in the neighborhood, take time to listen and talk with children.
-
Be a helper. Parents sometimes need help in caring for their children during worship. Offer to give a hand. Ask a child who is getting a bit restless to come and sit with you for a while. Be prepared with a snack (be sure to check this out with the parent ahead of time) or a small toy. Keys or a case from glasses can keep a kid occupied for a surprisingly long period of time.
The church is the family of faith. As in all families we represent many generations. Together we must work at supporting each other and affirming each other so that we all know that we are loved and needed, and, most especially, that we belong in God's family._
This material has been prepared by Rev. Wendy S. Bailey -- June 1991
Much of this material has
been adopted from the book, Parenting
in the Pew, by Robbie Castleman. To buy the book, click
here.
Please copy and distribute, but do not publish or use for profit without permission from the author. To request permission, or to acknowledge the use of this material, email BaileyWS@collie.net
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