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Diablo Labs Fun Filled Do it Yourself Kits Are you the Handy (Wo)Man of the Family? Do you always need something to do? Well, no one more than Diablo Labs knows that idles hands are our playground. We have kits for every occassion, and even for some occassion that don't need them! Be sure to get the Diablo Labs Complete Tool Kit so that you can assemble your purchase. In the unlikely event that you should run into difficulty with your new project, the Diablo Labs Tech Support Hotline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at:
Lt. Col. Mcqueen Plumber Kit! Includes Washers, Screwdrivers and even a Plunger! Yes now you too can find out why he is grounded! And remember, it's Okay to be scared of the clogged toilet! My First Buzz Beam Mine! A perfect starter kit for little Johhny, this helps get rid of those annoying neighborhood pests (stray pets, salesmen, occupying Marines) Can be attached to the Optional Fear Strobe Light Kit for a real Halloween Scare! Uses 4 D-cell Batteries (not included). Home In Vitro Lab! Another wonderful toy to help introduce your childern to science, this can help you too! Includes gestation tank, Genetic Sequencer and Fashion Neck Nipple Piercer (Genetic Material sold seperately) Make your life easier with an In Vitro around to do all of your chores/ unmentionables (emptying the litter nox, taking out the garbage, mining plutonium)! No worrys about In Vitro Rights or slave labor laws. Also is good for that Jurrasic Park Garden that you always wanted! My First Colony Kit! 100% Guarenteed not to be exterminated by angry aliens! We Promise! No Kidding! Watch what happens when you switch who goes and who stays! Adjustable clock for those planets that have more than 24 hour days! Great tax write off! Home ECT Kit! Having those painful memories about something that you would rather forget? Well now you can get rid of them with the Home ECT Kit! That's right, you too can feel Peace and Contentment after running 50,000 volts through electrodes attached to your head! Be able to forget about whatever has been bothering you, whether is was leaving your squadron behind on a hostile planet, forgetting the kids at the mall, or that big promotion that you didn't get! Blue Goo must be purchased separately and requires additional shipping and handling costs. Kids try this one on your parents when they are asleep for even bigger laughs! Personal DNA testing Kit! Has your entire squadron been killed (again)? Not sure which boot belongs with which body? Well that's okay if you have the DNA Testing Kit! Now you can feel free to send whoever you choose out to die in mass quantities and not have to worry about proper Identification of the remains! Perfect for those times when your troops want to play a joke on you and switch uniforms! No more sending those coffins into space with the wrong name on them, and then having to chase them down and correct it! Buy yours today! Sex Ed 101 Kit! The perfect companion kit to give with your McQueen Action Figure, invented by none other than the Crazy Cat herself! This kit is best described by Guest Instructor McQueen:
"Listen up! This is Sex Ed 101.
Get yours today, it's perfect for anyone! Not responsible for any adverse behavior/broken marriages resulting from overuse of this product. Monitor Kit! Now that you have your Home InVitro Kit up and running, just how are you going to keep up with the care and feeding of your tank? With Diablo Labs Monitor Kit, everything is a breeze! We even include a scalpel and stethoscope for those "defective" tanks that need to be "erased". Slide projector included, but InVitro Indoctrination Slides must be purchased separately. Not responsible for escaping InVitros, or Monitor fatalities. Now You can Monitor the Birds!
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