FLINTSTONES: VIVA ROCK VEGAS PG
Starring Mark Addy, Jane Krakowski, Kristen Johnston, and Stephen Baldwin
Eric says: (0)
I'd like to congratulate this, this... ...thing on being my very first no-star rating. And you have to remember that our system goes all the way up to ten stars. This epitomizes a zero.
So I decided to take my 3 year old daughter to TFIVRV in the hopes that the fake dinosaurs and bright colors could capture her attention, after all, she seemed to like Road to El Dorado. Well, after about 45 minutes of dino gas jokes, sitcom-ish scenarios, and an inexplicable "Mars Attacks" reject, I glanced over to notice her trying to settle down on the armrest for a snooze. She and I were bored out of our minds. At least she lacked the inhibitions to stare at movie-goers behind us, keeping herself mildly entertained. Me and my polite self were left to stare at the screen while visions of crap danced in my head. UGGGHHHH.
Alas, being a reviewer, I might as well give some constructive criticism. While the first ten minutes or so offered the fun, colorful theme that I was hoping for, the movie quickly devolved into a second-rate love story backed by tired premises done better on poor comedies like "Perfect Strangers". Addy and Johnston never have any chemistry and the surroundings aren't nearly interesting enough to make the principles irrevelant. There is anguish in Baldwin's face during his performance that certainly mirrored my own. And could someone tell him to stop freakin' squinting! Sadly, there really was nothing in the flick that I enjoyed, being thoroughly disappointed at the lies Kristen Johnston told me from my t.v. You see, working swing shift, I have acquired an affinity for late night talk shows. On consecutive nights, Dave Letterman and Conan had Kristen as a guest. She made me think I'd like it. Those lying Hollywood bastards!
My official suggestion is to stay home and sing the original Flintstones theme song to yourself 40 times instead of seeing this movie - it's cheaper, takes about an hour and 30 minutes less time, and will be vastly more entertaining. Yabba-Dabba-Doo-Doo.
David will not be seeing this movie due to the fact that he has a functional brain.
-CURRENT MOVIES-
U-571
THE SKULLS
BLACK AND WHITE
AMERICAN PSYCHO
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
ROAD TO EL DORADO
FLINTSTONES:VIVA ROCK VEGAS
FREQUENCY