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Dangerous Things To Do

DANGEROUS DISCLAIMER: If you're actually stupid enough to try any of these things at home kiddies...well it ain't my fault.

Have you ever considered flirting with danger? Throwing caution to the wind? Living on the edge? Doing stupid things to impress chicks and/or guys? Then maybe you can identify. How many have YOU tried?
*Random Activities* Occupations*

RANDOM DANGEROUS ACTIVITIES

  1. Chewing on tin foil
  2. Voting Republican
  3. Pissing off DG
  4. Slamming Judy Garland at a gay bar
  5. Eating meat products after the expiration date
  6. Believing the doctor when he/she says, "Oh, this will only hurt a little"
  7. Ordering a white wine spritzer at a Biker Bar
  8. Letting your mother pick your leisure wear
  9. Playing Hopscotch outside a crack house in South Central L.A.
  10. Spray painting "Nirvana Sucks" on a wall in Seattle
  11. Doing anything in Montana
  12. Saying "Oh that's just my pipe bomb" while walking through an airport metal detector
  13. Telling your girlfriend that she looks fat
  14. Dating someone who recently got out of jail
  15. Dating someone who's still in jail
  16. Trusting somebody that says "trust me"
  17. Asking your date how much you have to spend on dinner to get sex
  18. Crossing the street without looking
  19. Taking candy from strangers
  20. Hitchhiking
  21. Non-parachute sky diving
  22. Swimming immediately after eating a big meal
  23. Challenging a Canadian to a drinking contest
  24. Being a non-Mormon in Utah
  25. Telling your parents that the only reason you want to go to college is because they have better keggers
  26. Introducing your new lover to your parents as Mr. Kirkpatrick your gym teacher
  27. Swimming in shark infested waters with an open wound
  28. Mixing more than four recreational drugs at once
  29. Taking your kids to eat at Jack In The Box. Or, Buying your kids Odwalla apple juice
  30. Bungee jumping in the nude
  31. Buying an American made automobile
  32. Taunting rednecks
  33. Actually believing a guy when he says "I love You", especially if it's during sex
  34. Smoking because you think it makes you look sexy
  35. Having more than two credit cards
  36. Playing with matches
  37. Asking Andrea Dworkin for a blowjob.
  38. Eating a bran muffin and drinking a cup of coffee right before entering rush hour traffic
  39. Eating yellow snow
  40. Pissing on an electric fence
  41. Passing out condoms at a Pope rally
  42. Slamming Jerry Lewis in France
  43. Being an intern at the White House
  44. Cyber romances
  45. Eating a bologna sandwich, a bag of cheese puffs, chugging a YooHoo, and then going on a rollercoaster
  46. Telling your boss you're late for work because you were busy stalking your ex-boss who fired you for being late for work
  47. Mud wrestling with PitViper
  48. Poking a rattlesnake to get it to move
  49. Calling someone when you're drunk
  50. Balancing McDonalds coffee on your lap
  51. When flying your plane, you announce over the intercom "Hey, what's this gizmo do?"
  52. Wrestling a Grizzly Bear
  53. Naked Jell-O Twister
  54. Pissing off a postal worker
  55. Still drinking from the same keg you bought on New Years '87
  56. Telling any girl who leaves the bathroom "You've just failed California emission standards"
  57. Scheduling your yearly physical with Dr. Kervorkian
  58. Wearing a fur coat to animal rights gatherings
  59. Thinking yer sexy while doing the Macarena
  60. Incest
  61. Writing a book titled "Guys are smarter than Girls cuz we’ve got penises"
  62. Being a young boy confessing to an old Priest
  63. Letting Bill Clinton spend a night in a motel with your wife or daughter.
  64. Trying to get along with your mother
  65. Wearing your favorite chain mail shirt in a lightning storm
  66. Hanging out in front of an abortion clinic wearing a doctor's coat
  67. Sticking yer tounge on a frozen flagpole
  68. Crank calling Bill Gates
  69. Starting your living room on fire
  70. Getting caught trying on your girlfriend's lingerie
  71. Eating potato salad that's been out in the sun for a couple hours
  72. Having sex on a motorcycle that's speeding down a windy road at night
  73. Thinking that Kansas would be a nice place to visit during tornado season
  74. Bombing a Federal Building...Especially in Oklahoma
  75. Bringing soul food to a KKK picnic
  76. Offering sex on the first job interview
  77. Wearing a "Garth Brooks Sucks" t-shirt to a rodeo
  78. Being the Princess of Wales
  79. Lighting your smoke at a gas station
  80. Having open heart surgery for no particular reason
  81. Going to a hairstlyist and saying "Oh you decide"
  82. Bad mouthing DG’s web page
  83. Not adhering to the proper speed limits
  84. Engaging in satanic rituals including human sacrifices
  85. Giving in to peer pressure
  86. Using a six inch bowie knife to shave with
  87. In Arkansas: Marrying outside of your family
  88. Marrying a Rock Star
  89. Being a Rock Star
  90. Having Sex with your intern when you're the President.
  91. Holding people hostage
  92. Not paying your taxes

    DANGEROUS OCCUPATIONS

    1. Abortion Doctor
    2. Acrobat
    3. Air Force
    4. Alligator Wrestler
    5. Ambulance Driver
    6. Army
    7. Artificial inseminator for Grizzly bears
    8. Assassin
    9. Astronaut
    10. Barbarian
    11. Black Rap Artist
    12. Bouncer
    13. Car/Federal Building/Train/Plane Bomber
    14. Chainsaw Juggler
    15. Construction Worker
    16. Crack Whore
    17. Dictator
    18. Drug Dealer
    19. Drug Lord
    20. FBI Agent
    21. Fire Breather
    22. Fireman/woman
    23. Fireworks Choreographer
    24. French Foreign Legion Cadet
    25. Green Peace Activist
    26. High Wire Walker
    27. Hitman
    28. Ice Cream Man at a fat farm
    29. Jedi Knight
    30. Late Night Talk Show Host
    31. Law Enforcement Officer
    32. Lawyer
    33. Lion Tamer
    34. Marine Corps
    35. Medical Research Test Subject
    36. Mercenary
    37. Mobster
    38. Narcoleptic Train Engineer
    39. Navy
    40. Ninja
    41. Nuclear Power Plant Technician
    42. Oyster Diver
    43. Paparazzi
    44. Plague Biochemist
    45. Planned Parenhood Counselor deep in the heart of the Bible Belt
    46. Prison Psychologist
    47. Prison Security Guard
    48. Professional Gambler
    49. Prostitute
    50. Race Car Driver
    51. Rodeo Clown
    52. Rock Star
    53. Sales Person during the Semi-Annual sale at Nordstrom.
    54. Serial Killer
    55. Shark Catcher
    56. Sky Diving Instructor
    57. Snake Handler
    58. Social Worker in Texas and/or Montana
    59. Stunt Person
    60. Super Hero
    61. Swashbuckler
    62. Terrorist
    63. Test Pilot
    64. Tight Rope Walker
    65. Used IV Needle Collector
    66. Vampire
    67. Vampire Slayer
    68. Window Washer on the 100th floor of the World Trade Center
    69. White House Intern
    70. White Rap Artist
    71. Woodshop Teacher


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