Alien: Resurection

Alien 3 was a prime example of going to the well one too many times. Sure it had Ripley, it had the Alien and it had a very dark tone about (much in part to the little-known director David Fincher whowould hit it big with seven) but it just plain sucked. Most of the fan outcry of Ripley's death was she died at the end of such a shitty movie. So, like many Aliens fans, I went to this movie not thinking how good it will be but how well they make up for the last one.
The story is the typical Alien movie song and dance. Powerful humans can't leave well enough alone and want to study/control the Aliens. They escape and cause serious havoc. Ripley and whatever friends she's assembled have to stop the dern things before Something Bad Happens. This time the friends are the crew of the privateer ship Betty and the Bad Thing that Happens is the shipful of Aliens is heading towards Earth. Ripley returns via cloning but during the process her DNA got swished around with the Alien DNA inside her and she's notquitethe same Ripley.
Sigourney Weaver looks like she's having fun giving us this same but different edition of Ripley. Now she has the physical prowess to back up her force of will that she had survived through the last three movies with. What once was desperate pleading on how dangerous the creatures are is now quiet statement that you will die. The script also keeps us wondering just how much of her is on our side. The rest of the cast is very good too. Michael Wincott does an excellent job at the gravelly voiced Elgin and Ron Perlman is excelelnt as the chauvanist Johner. Brad Douriff is unsettling as one of the scientists studying the Alien. When he french-kisses the glass of the cage the Alien is in, Ialmost chucked my Nachos. The direction is also wonderful. Jean-Pierre Jeunet somehow synthesizes the lookof all three films and adds his won touches of grace and haunting terror.
My only complaint is a minor one. I didn't feel quite the same camraderie I did for the mercenaries that Idid for the crewof the first two Alien movies. The deaths didn't have the emotional impacts that they should. Heck,you know some of them are gonna die. It should hurt more when they do. Bottom Line: An excellent follow-up and a wonderful apology for Alien 3.
Line of the Flick: "I died."----- Ripley, after one of the mercenaries asked her what she did the last time she faced the Aliens.

GRADE=A

Mortal Kombat:Annihilation

Movies from video games have a long and illustrious history of being shitty. While the first Mortal Kombat didn't necessarily put the previous statement to rest, it was at the very least, shit with an asterisk. (My apologies to Dennis Miller). So I wasn't necessarily dreading the sequel and to be honest, the low expectations I had were let down.

MK II picks right off where MK I leaves off, with new characters and new fatalties....sorry. I promise that'll be the last lame 'video-game' joke I'll make. But NOT necessarily the last lame joke I make. Shao Khan shows up to ruin everybody's Ewok Celebration at the Shaolin Temple. He basically opens the portals to his dimension and the world goes to Hell. Rayden collects his group of good guys and runs underneath to a complex series of tunnels linking the world by Atlassphere. (If you get that reference, you get props.) Everyone pairs of and goes about seeking allies and other crap. Liu Kang pouts over Kitana. Rayden becomes mortal. Jax tries to be funny. An abundance of American Gladiator references are made.

Look, the plot doesn't matter. What matters is the kung-fu, right? The kung fu is okay. I've seen better and I've seen worse. For whaterver reason, the intangible thing that made the first MK watchable is gone. Maybe it's the absence of Christopher Lambert as Rayden. Maybe its the fact that I've heard all the techno they use in this one. Maybe its the overabundance of conventions from the video game. Maybe its former American Gladiator 'Saber' trying to be the next Will Smith. The point is, only see this movie in accompaniment of pre-teen children. I've taken one for the team on this one. Bottom Line: If you owe your little brother/sister a favor, take them to see it.
Line of the Flick: "I'm going to wash up in the river."----- Sonia Blade, prompting some male theatergoers to hoot and holler.

GRADE=D

Starship Troopers

This is a frightening movie. Not because of the bloodshed or the aliens or the fact that Neil Patrick Harris (aka TV's Doogie Howser) has a very prominent role. This movie frightens me because I enjoyed it. It was a super-hyped prefabricated blockbuster with stereotypical characters and more computer animation than the last super-hyped prefabricated blockbuster. But, I'll be damned if I didn't walk out of it entertained. I was surprised I didn't walk out of it.

Starship Troopers is the story of young Johnny Rico (Casper Van Dien) pursuing the love of his life Carmen Ibanez (the more lovely than talented Denise Richards) into the military of the future, which is the road to being a Citizen (with a capital C). It's your basic boy meets girl/boy loses girl/girl meets other boy/boy meets other girl/other boy and girl die slow, bloody deaths/boy gets girl back kind of story. Carmen is tempted by fellow pilot Zander Barcalow (Patrick Muldoon) and Johnny by Dizzy Flores (the lovely and talented Dina Meyer). Zander and Dizzy get kacked, allowing the brutish Johnny get together with the holier-than-thou fleet girl and beat all the shiny computerized bugs. Also of note is a peekaboo performance by Doogie Howser as an Army scientist and Michael Ironsides as a kick-ass superior officer.

The Melrose Place Practice Squad assembled here does a decent job of not getting lost in the shuffle of the CGI bugs. The bugs are neat but is that really surprising? I'm not gonna bust a nut frothing about the special effects. SFX don't impress me anymore. Director Paul Verhoven is well known for his excessive violence(Robocop, Total Recall) and his excessive sex(Showgirls and Basic Instict). He layers on the helpings of both flavors here. People don't just die. They get decapitated or shorn in two. And the sex? I have three words: co-ed shower scene. He knows how to do sci-fi and make us actually care when the troopers invariably get squished and squashed by the bugs. His trademark media clips inserted in the movies add a little dark humor that's very refreshing.
Bottom Line: Get a bunch of friends together and let the smart-assed comments fly.
Line of the Flick:Say it with me "We're going back to P!"----- Doogie Howser, talking about the alien planet inadvertantly named after a human bodily function.

GRADE=B

A Life Less Ordinary

I'll be up front and say it. This is a CHICK FLICK. With that said, it was an enjoyable one. Hey, even I have a sensitive side. I need a good cry too. It is a chick flick made by many of the same creative minds behind 'Trainspotting' I was intrigued to say the least. The movie is very ecclectic and unusual and were it in the hands of any other artists, it would have sucked.
The premise is an old one. Two angels (Delroy Lindo and Holly Hunter) must bring an unlikely couple together. The couple is a recently-unemployed janitor (Ewan McGregor) and his boss's rich bitch daughter (Mmmmm..Cameron). If the angels are unsuccessful, they get stuck on this earthly plane. Sort of a cross between 'Ir's a Wonderful Life' and 'Overboard', right? The couple is brought together win a bungled half-kidnapping where the daughter seems to be more enthusastic about the kidnapping than the kidnapper is. Does the couple end up happy? Of course!

A lot of times its not the road you take but the scenery you pass by. the lovely Cameron Diaz not withstanding, there are some interesting performances in this movie. I particularily liked Holly Hunter's portrayal of her angel. She is a bit of a sensualist and puts an interesting spin on the typical portayal of angels as either illuminous beings or normal joes with wings.

There are a few flaws in the movie, however. I thought that Delroy Lindo's angel was very 2-dimensional and just sort of there to be along for the ride. I love Mr. Lindo as an actor but he just didn't have anything to work with. Also, granted this is a movie with angels in it, but there is a bit of a 'no way'. The angel's first show up as repossesors at the janitor's apartment. Then they are Cameron's father's henchmen that come to pick up the ransom. they are supposedly killed in that altercation yet when they kidnap Cameron themselves toward the end of the movie and the janitor comes to the rescue, no one seems to realize they are the SAME people. Sure, power of the divine, yadda yadda yadda, but at least have a couple of lines of exposition to explain why noone reconizes them.
Bottom Line: A very decent date movie. Take someone you love or at least someone you lust after.
Line of the Flick: "Human FUCKING beings!"----- The Angel O'Reilly, after he plans to unite the humans fails.

GRADE=B

Devil's Advocate

Let me begin by saying that I barely even noticed that Keanu Reeves was in this movie. Ususally Ted causes a California blonde stench to waft over any movie that he's in. But Keanu was, dare I say it, good in this movie. The only complaint I have is his Southern accent seemed to suffer from the same peek-a-boo vocal coaching that Kevin Costner did in his role asRobin Hood. You know, someone should fire that guy. Even that wasn't all Keanu becuase co-star Charlize Theron suffered the same affliction.

Of course, my leniency on Keanu may be because of the glare coming from Al Pacino. Al shone brilliantly in this move and if he doesn't get an Oscar nomination I just don't know anything anymore. He's taken some Heat for cruising through his last few roles in 'Scent of a Woman' mode but Al makes this devil his own. You never see him coming, to paraprhase his line in the movie.

The direction of the film was very good, especially toward the end as it strayed to its supernatual conclusion. And, just when you think the whole thing will be ruined by a happy ending.....you'll just have to go and see for yourself.

Bottom Line: I'm a sucker for a satan movie.

Line of the flick: The worst vice is advice.
----John Milton Grade: A

Air Force One

Going into this movie I was expecting a very macho John Wayne movie that makes you wanna chant 'USA! USA!' and hum 'Stars and Stripes Forever'. I wasn't wrong but it was a damn enjoyable patriotic romp. It's been a while since a good 'Americans kick Russian ass' movie. I'm gonna have to go all the back to 'Hunt for Red October' which is ironic, since the illustrious Mr. Ford starred in two of that movies' sequels.

The concept is a tired one; 'Die Hard' on an airplane with a few twists here and there to make it seem fresh. I can just hear the executives in the pitch meeting. See, it's not just an airplane, it's Air Force One...it's not just a lone cop that escapes, it's the President of the USA! USA! USA! Oh..sorry.. Sounds pretty bad don't it? Well, while Harrison Ford may not be able to do no wrong, i.e. 'Sabrina', but put him in a suit and he'll kick some ass. This is formula, indeed, but well-made formula. It's kind of similar to the way Campbell's soup seems to taste better when it's made by your mother. It's the same stuff you've had hundreds of time but because the people involved were so damn good it seems better.

I'll be the first to admit I could probably watch Harrison Ford read stereo instructions for 90 minutes and find it interesting but he gives an excellent performance as President Mitchell. Gary Oldman returns from his TechnoBaptist histrionics and turns out a very intense performance as a Russian Nationalist who seizes the place. He's a really hissable villain and one of my few complaints was that Ford didn't get to beat him up in the end. Wolfgang Petersen can so enclosed spaces. He directed Das Boot. He can do Presidents. He directed In the Line of Fire. He combines the two well here.

Bottom Line: It's got a lot of those can't miss elements and for once they congeal. Watch for Dean Stockwell and overdose on Quantum Leap references like we did.

Line of the Flick: Your National Security Advisor is an excellent negotiator. He just bought you another thirty minutes---Gary Oldman, after splattering said advisors brains all over AF1 Grade=A-

Operation: Condor

You know, with each new Jackie Chan movie, he seems to get younger and younger. Perhaps its because every 'new' Chan flick is actually an older one that Miramax releases because the American public is hungry for Chan's brand of cute humor, redubbed dialogue and oh-my-god physical feats. When 'Rumble in the Bronx' was released a few years ago, the martial arts movie was dead. 20 years after kung fu had been made cool by the entrance of the Dragon; the style had been done to death. For the definition of the word derivative, watch 'Enter the Dragon' and then watch Don 'The Dragon' Wilson in ANY movie. Martial Arts movies, unlike other genres, hadn't moved very far past the original film. A good comparison would be imagining sci-fi movies that still were about silver rockets and square-jawed guys with spit-curls.

Sure, the plot is convoluted. It's something about Nazi gold. The characters are stereotypes. The dubbing is funny. But the movie is still a winner. 'Operation:Condor' has two of the elements that make Chan movies great; Chan's humor and Chan's action. The movie just keeps them both coming and running in a seamless mix. This is Chan it his finest, using what I call his 'improve fu' to its finest. That's one reason why I love the guy, he doesn't just do the kicks and the punches, even though those are at lighting speed. Chan also used whatever's handy. A lamp, a bottle, a crane, a woman's towel (?). Chan also infuses his movies with a campy sort of humor. Definitely a wonderful change from the tough guy seriousness of his action hero counterparts. If I could kick people's butts like he could, I'd be his kind of martial artist. His fight scenes aren't Mortal Kombat; they are martial ballet. This is the first movie I've seen in a while that had that people reacting in the aisles...oohhing and ahhing as Chan flipped and spun his way into the hearts of everyone. Funny how one little Chinese guy has outdone millions of dollars of computer equipment all by himself.

The Bottom Line: If you're up for an action flick that will boggle the mind and don't mind the dubbing, go for it. If you've never seen Jackie, shame on you and see this movie.

Line of the Flick: Don't drink the holy water-- Explorer to Jackie as to why the natives in the opening teaser get upset with him

Grade: B+

Hercules

The last Disney movie I saw was 'The Lion King'. From what I heard about the others, I haven't missed much. Something compelled me to see Hercules and it WASN'T the whiny rendition of the theme song by Michael Bolton at the end credits that I hear every time I clean the damn movie. Disney, mighty Disney couldn't strike out....could they? 'Hercules' is a hit, to be sure, but more of a double squeezed out of a base hit than a home run.

The first problem with the movie is the animation. One of main reasons Disney movies succeed where other animated opuses don't is the crispness and interesting animation. There are shots from 'The Lion King' that still render me breathless. All I can do is sit and watch the sequence with the gazelles...or the 'Be Prepared' number. 'Hercules' art isn't too spectacular and in fact, looks like the contenders that the other studios have thrown up. Plus there is the plot. I know it is a kid's movie but it just seems this one has just had elements from other movies grafted into a plot. You've got an outcast trying to live up to his father (Lion King) getting involved with a dangerous woman (Hunchback) inadvertently stumbling to the villain's attempt to seize control of the kingdom (Aladdin). The movie did win me over but it took a while.

There are reasons to go see this movie. Alan Menken's return to the Gospel chorus of his 'Little Shop of Horrors' is pretty darn good. Not quite as hum-able as 'Aladdin', my all-time favorite Disney score, but good enough to keep my attention. And I have one other word for you:

Hades

James Woods' Hades alone is worth the ticket. He is the Genie's evil brother. The fast talking used-soul salesman schtick works great. Combine this with some decent riffing and nifty animation makes me wanna go out and buy the toy.

One more thing I wanna say; this movie is one of the most sexual Disney's I've seen. Meg isn't the typical doughy-eyed heroine. She's a Mae West toughie who in an older movie could easily make a sword length crack. I find it amusing that people got all bent out of shape at every Disney movie at something...Little Mermaid for the phallic symbols, Lion King for the supposed racial stereotypes. Yet I haven't heard a thing about this movie. Oh well...people are funny I guess.

Bottom Line: Take the kids to see it. Take the date to see it. Just don't expect to have your socks blown off, unless your date is into that sort of thing in public.

Line of the Flick: Hi. Hades, Lord of the Underworld. Nice to meetcha.--- Hades introducing himself to Hercules

Grade: B-

Contact

I keep asking myself how this movie got in here. Like a bright kid running with the bad crowd, 'Contact' is a very smart and personal movie stuck amongst beautiful people in spandex beating up other beautiful people in spandex and cruise liners crashing into Air Force One. The past few summers have been full of movies that deal with aliens whether they are invading us or they are among us. While 'Contact' does involve aliens the story does not revolve around them. Suprisingly this movie deals more with a more interesting subject; faith.

'Contact' is, on the surface, what would conceivably happen if those great big radio telescopes that scan the stars for life actually picked up a signal from some civilized life. But delving deeper we find out the movie is more about the differences...and the similarities...of science and religion. This is a topic that I have spent numerous hours at George Webbs and other like places wondering about and discussing with my friends. The film illustrates this them by centering on Ellie Arraway's (Jodie Foster) quest to find out about the universe. Not an easy task, indeed. Sure as hell neater than saving a boat, isn't it? Arraway discovers a message from another civilization and decodes it. They apparently send blueprints to a Machine to allow the occupant to travel to the stars and someone gets to go? But will it be Ellie? Will it be her glory-hounding rival (Tom Skerrit)? Can she leave the spiritual man she has fallen for (Matthew McConneghy)? Or will the government put the kibosh on the whole thing, since the national security advisor (James Woods) doesn't think it's a good idea?

Be advised. This movie is a long one, about 3 hours long. It is not fast-paced in the least. I think the main reason this movie was released now was because there are an ENORMOUS amount of CGI effects. The cgi integrates well, second only to Mia in this season anyway. Ironic since Mia was a quick piece of cinematic candy...short and sweet with no aftertaste. Contact is slow and methodical, something refreshing. The Machine ride is one of those movie moments that can only be experienced, not discussed. As for the performances, they were pretty darn good. This is a movie that will probably get the leads nominated for something or other. Jodie Foster is excellent as Elli, a combination of strength and humbleness. She is the one making all the breakthroughs and the discoveries but still awed by the idea of it all. Tom Skerrit is good as the figurehead of the operation; riding away on her laurels almost to the stars. Matthew (I already butchered his last name once thank you) plays Palmer Joss a deeply spiritual man drawn to Ellie by her determination and fervor, yet cast away by the same. Joss has a very quiet strength, one that Ellie draws on throughout the picture. I would also like to mention John Hurt as the deus ex machina G.R. Hadden. Hadden is portrayed as frightening yet benevolent, kind but scary. Something to mull over when analyzing this film, and you will,

There are two things that keep me from giving this movie a complete A. First of all, it will test your CGI tolerance. From the 'Gump'-esque insertion of President Clinton to the floating pendant there is CGI all over. If you can handle it, more power to you. Also, you can cut the theme and the message sometimes with a knife. The movie comes off heavy-handed sometimes. A marching band holding up signs that say 'Theme' in the background are all that's missing out of the courtroom scene.

Bottom Line: If you want a movie that will give you something to talk about at Webbs for five hours afterwards, go see it. I haven't thought this much about a movie since '12 Monkeys'. Line of the Flick: Have you studied Occham's Razor? All things considered, when given two explanations for something the one that is the simpler of the two is usually the correct one.---Ellie Arraway, on her belief of the truth

Grade: B+

FACE/OFF

John Woo had once more chance to impress me. He had been in Hollywood for a few years now and his previous two films had nowhere near the ballet du carnage that his Hong Kong films did. (Go rent either 'Hard Boiled' or 'the Killer' to see what I mean.) 'Hard Target' wasn't Woo's fault. It was a Van-Damme movie. Give an artist a piece of wet cardboard to paint on and don't be surprised at what you get. 'Broken Arrow' had a few high action spots...the train sequence was decent, but I got antsy waiting for the action. Face/Off was his last chance. John got smart. He put in everything that makes a John Woo movie.

Stylish slow motion

Everyone shoots with two guns...one gun is for wimps or dead guys.

Guys in suits beating the hell out of each other. John Travolta and/or Chow Yun Fat. It seems Travolta is becoming Woo's American Fat....he's in EVERY movie...

The premise, while farfetched, is simple enough. Nicholas Cage is a devious terrorist who has planted a bomb in LA. Travolta is a FBI agent on Cage's trail, an agent whose son was killed by Cage six years previous. In a climactic gun battle, Cage is rendered comatose and the only way that the FBI will be able to find the bomb in time is if Travolta takes Cage's face...literally...and get the info from Cage's incarcerated brother. But while Travolta is inside prison, Cage awakens from his coma and forces the team of doctors to make him into Travolta. So we've got Travolta as the bad guy with the face of the good guy and Cage as the good guy with the face of the bad guy. Got it?

The movie is good on all accounts. Woo is one of the most visually stunning directors I have seen. He invented the slo-mo action scene and is still the man to beat. The story poses some interesting questions. Not only the moral ambiguity of good and evil as a representative of each takes on the characteristics of the other...(okay, I'll put the psych book down) but as how easily each man fits into the life of the other. Cage does well in Travolta's life. In fact he improves it somewhat. And Travolta is quickly on his way into descending into madness as Cage and also has a second chance at raising a son. Each man also does well in both roles. Cage played tortured souls well and Sean Archer (the good guy) is one tortured soul. Plus he didn't go through the entire movie with an annoying accent. That's what really ruined 'Con Air' for me. John Travolta. The man carried 'Broken Arrow'. But he doesn't have to carry anything here so he just runs. He plays my favorite kind of villain and he plays him well. Castor Troy (the bad guy) is an evil, evil man, and he wouldn't have it any other way. Villains make the movie and Castor Troy is on my list of top-notch villains. How can you not love the gold-plated pistols? Or the casual attitude? The lecherous (and ironically, quasi-incestuous) looks he gives anything with breasts?

If you haven't already, go see this movie. If you have, see it again. Watch how subtly each man portrays the other. Bottom Line: Come for the acting, stay for the gunfights.

Line of the Flick:OoooooooooooWEEEEEEE Look at you, good looking.....---John Travolta, when he first sees his face on another man

Grade: A

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