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Girl Power? Part Two
Of course, the other side to girlpower is not just kicking butt, but doing that alongside other girls. Which makes me wonder: about the nature of the girl friend. Why are some of them dear to you for life, and some make you wanna bitch slap 'em??
I think it's an Audobon thing, birdwatching. There are different types, and I'll go ahead and list some. I'm sure you see a little of yourself or others in some of these:
The Alphas (need spotlight):
Competicus Comparicus: Great to hang out with, but always sizing you up, imitating you and then outdoing you. Usually overachievers or only children, they must continually assure themselves that the world revolves around them. It's a built-in mechanism, the competitive vibe, and nature dictates that on even the most basic levels, they need a benchmark to prove they're doing well. Or at least better than someone next to them...
Absolut Slutticus: This one is a bit sad. Prides herself on her sexual liberation and exploits. Always has her assets on display. Started early (like in grade school) and probably as the result of abuse or neglect. You see her at bars either alone or with a pack of girls she's ready to ditch at any given moment. Easily distinguished by her cosmetic markings, nails and hair. Guys make fun of her but she's first pick for banging. Thinks that stripping and porn are signs of an enlightened culture.
The Betas (don't):
Beta Bestfriendicus: Beta gals are the best. They don't have to be the center of attention and are happy to be the sidekick. Downside being they usually have self-esteem issues or don't consider themselves to be in the running with the alpha chicks. Usually brainy and smart but not in a brassy manner. Can change to alpha upon boob job or body sculpt.
Dishing Gossipus: The one who replaced the town crier as the go-to for information. The one who you always call for the dirt on someone. The one you will never make drunken confessions to again.
The Boy-Girls (revolve around men):
Femme Disparu: The gal that disappears every time she starts dating and becomes a siamese twin. Re-emerges as herself when her man's away or after the breakup to do some bonding (and network for a new boyfriend). Sometimes willing to deal with way more than normal bullshit since they don't feel complete without a man (and are rarely single). All they really want is to be married. Little do they know that ain't the end - that's just the beginning...
Attn Whore Mantrapicus: This one can trip you up because she's eminently likeable. Most likely a late-bloomer, she is loves to kiss and tell on the men she has ensnared but never seems to have a steady boyfriend. A prolific poacher, she's slutty but in a tomboyish way. No makeup, crunchy granola, and loves to show off that hotbod. The queenbee of a passel of men, but to be frank, she needs male attention to validate herself. Easy to get along with but not to be trusted any farther than she can be thrown.
In reality, we all go through phases like these and so do our friends. I believe in friendship, not girl power. That's just a male masturbatory fantasy that we buy into as empowering. But it only exists when there are no men involved. Put a man in the middle and it's every gal for herself.
Next week: Sluts!
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