|
It's
a dawg's world and I'm wearing milkbone underwear
What is it about
living in the big bad city that makes people crazy? I'm not just talking
general stress and neuroses, but full-blown psychotic I-gotta-get-witcha-ness
that some singles are capable of.
Maybe society and
the media propagate this. How many telly shows/movies glorify the state
of singlehood without making a relationship the end result (um, Sex
and the City is now officially out of the running)? Why do personal
ads take up an inordinate amount of space in the newspaper (great for
dogwalkers)?
I guess some people
take their loneliness into their own hands (be nice) and decide to lasso
a honey, rain or shine, but aren't socially adept. That's the only way
I can explain the love-you-from-afar sitch of most stalkers and pervs.
I recently encountered
friends that are dealing with creeps that are following them around
or fending off grabby exes. I myself was a "psycho magnet"
in college. But reformed today, all I can say is take away the thrill
of the chase, assert yourself, and most likely he'll just go home.
Acknowledgement
is key, and so is no fear. Look him straight in the eye, and call him
on his behavior - you'll shame him into denial and defeat, whilst getting
a good description to give to the police. If he still raids your personal
space, just remember - grab and twist.
Repeat callers you
can avoid thru caller ID, or if you're bored, answer your phone like
a telemarketer to trip them up. Or tell them their pizza's on its way
if they verify their address. Remember, if it's a persistent prob, keep
a stalker log with dates, times, and places. All the better to nail
him with...
Pervs are more casual,
and less personal. They get off on shocking people (or maybe just getting
off), so if someone pulls out the pud, give him the once-over and let
him know if he doesn't measure up. If he's your type, just enjoy the
show and tip him afterwards.
Today's gem:
If you're really ballsy, pull a DeNiro - get up in his face (in a public
place) and say "You wanna piece of me? Right here - right now?"
You may one-up him in the race for crazy.
Next
week: Man
friends - do they exist?
Top
|
