Jigging for Squid

How many of you gals are feeling the sands of time on your hourglass figures? The ticking of clocks, ramping of libidos is Mother Nature's way of saying "you ain't gettin' any younger.... are you still gettin' ANY??" Usually this comes concurrent with an eye-opening realization - that what ten years ago woulda qualified you as a pedophile is now REALLY COOL (and legal).

Older women - young men couplings are now all the rage. DAshton, ChUsher (ok, kaput), Drewbrizio. Forget May-September when you can get it April, June, and November as well. This is actually a long-standing tradition that dates back as far as, well... dating.

Have you noticed that fresh-faced intern that's crushing on you? Do you find puppyish gestures/declarations adorable, as compared to the taciturn fumblings of stuffy guys who only favor Missionary Saturdays (ugh). Do you gaze with lust at a well-cut torso that hasn't yet gone to seed? Oohh...even peach fuzz makes me feel ... ahem... dirty.

I think this coupling, out of any combo platter, has the most chance of fun and the best rate of success. Women that jig for squid (remember "trawling for freshmen"?) are usually independent, secure, sexually assertive, and looking for someone who can keep up with them. The squid in question are usually appreciative of someone with brains who isn't just happy to be there. Older men are always replacing PYTs with even younger ones. Just think - by the time your latest junior boo starts looking at 20-somethings, you'll be drinking your lunch thru a straw at the old folks' home and have had your fill. And probably eyeing that studly orderly that brings you pudding...

But beware - sometimes you will feel even older if you date one of these - make sure you can take him out in public (Von Dutchie hats be damned) and hold a cogent conversation (without doughnuts or bonghits). For example, I was taken aback when one squid asked me if I had any cosmetic surgery because I "held up really good for a 30-year old" (as if!) and peppered his speech with "dude"s even though he was with a lady (! - for the record, the first record he bought was Vanilla Ice). Dumped him after our third date in a funpark, although he was a great lay ("Please don't call me Mommy. Please").

So remember - you've got a whole new arena of appreciation. For same-aged and older men who grab fresh ass to feel vital, let 'em take the cheerleaders. It'll leave you with the quarterbacks. And skaters. And the ones you used to babysit...