The juggernaut known as the Septi-Verse rolls forward, crushing all that dare tread in it's path! Month number three for the Septi-Verse, and it's just as obscure as ever!
First off, what about those Amish. Dealing drugs at youth dances. Actually I hear that the condition in the Amish country is a lot worse off that they let on. In fact, one of my sources tell me that they now have rival gangs: the Crops and the Beards. But the good news is that since the only gang color they wear is black, they don't know who to shoot. Do you suppose this is what Weird Al had in mind when he wrote Amish Paradise? Hmmm...
On July 15th, the Spice Girls are going to be in concert here in Pittsburgh. Guess who's going to be in line for those tickets. Yup, my army of lobotomized assassin frat-boys. Offer them enough beer and they'll do anything for you. The frat-boys and the Spice Girls. Speaking of empty calories, the now Four Spices of the Apocalypse performed with Lucciano Pavoratti. The buzz is that shortly after the concert, he got a prescription for Viagra, and he offered to escort Ginger onto stage if they got back together. Are they considering a lyric change? If you wanna be my lover/ you better take a little blue pill./ Get us five back together/ and we'll give you one big thrill.
So who all out there have seen the new kiddie show, the Teletubbies? It's kind of like George Orwell's 1984, the children's show. There are these four gigantic brightly colored children, and they run around and play in a sterile field with talking flowers that watch their every move, and a huge decapitated baby head in the sun that laughs at them. (Like none of them are going to get a complex over that. And besides, a floating head is really creative. Rip off the Power Rangers a little more please.) And in their living quarters, a machine provides their food for them, and a robot tells them when to go to bed. And there is also a windmill that shoots out hallucinogens that causes the 'tubbies to trip and see movies and dancing things. It's a very frightening experience, it's like beating your inner step-child with a wire clothes hanger. Expect all the kids to want these toys this Christmas.
World Cup Soccer sweeps the planet! Riots,
protests, fires, and other forms of civil disobedience raged through Paris
because of the rowdy English fans. Americans, not to be out done,
started rioting in Los Angeles when the Mexican team won. People
in other countries don't understand why soccer isn't very popular in the
United States. I think it's pretty simple. Considering the
level of violence in other countries where it's popular, if soccer were
big here, we'd launch the nukes if we lost.
The truth is out there, unfortunately it's not as
interesting as a good conspiracy theory. The X-Files movie just opened,
reminding us what thousands of what geeks running to a movie theater sounds
like since it's been so long since the last Star Trek movie.
In this month's Septi-Page we look at a few more of my rogues in About Septy. More terror that's yet to be in Glimpse into the Future. I'll send you to a page to learn more about astral projection in Links N' Stuff. Let's praise the Second Amendment in True Tales of Stupidity. I complain about the commercialization of Princess Diana, the religious right, faux feminism, and crappy viewing choices on Mtv in Tirade. And new, revisit all of those old pages in Previous Septi-Pages. It's a load of fun, and all for free thanks to the good folks at GeoCities.
You know the drill, if you have anything (good) to say about ye olde Septi-Verse, e-mail me at septy@geocities.com and perhaps I'll respond, but only if you're really good and are kind to all animals.
And brand spanking new to the web page, Septy's Guestbook. To leave a message, click Sign Guestbook, then you can View Guestbook to see what the throngs of Septi-junkies have said. Be nice people.
Untill next time.
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