Angela, Seattle WA

You know Angela, there's a whole generation of CD-culture kids out there who will grow up not knowing what an "album" is. Next time we're in Seattle we'd be glad to show you one of our 12 inch records.

I vote for "fondled". So when and where??

Brandi, Toronto

Depends. Are you from "Toronto the Good", or "Toronto the Really, Really Good?"

Anuthah message from de delta, dis time Yo Ma Ma speakin, heah. An you bettah mind me, boys. Get off dat fool computah - it's playing rot wid you minds.
Actually, I'm really upset - why did BB King give Lucille to the Pope?! "The Pope, 77, gave Mr. King a small cross." Did you read that in the Globe & Mail? Now THAT's the blues. I'm stunned! And that's not the half of it!

Not-exactly-speechless-yet-fully-indignant, De Delta

It's a little known fact that His Holiness stopped by BB's club down on Beale Street in Memphis. He was chowing down on their world famous fried dill pickles when BB invited him to sit in with the band, and lent him his guitar. Well, the Pontiff just wailed on "3-O'Clock Blues"! BB didn't have much choice; I mean, how could he play another solo on that guitar after it gave up those heavenly licks? So that's how it came to pass.
Excuse me...I think I hear the Catholics in the band trying to beat down the door.
Seriously though, all BB's guitars are named "Lucille". I think he's using Lucille number 16 right now. Number 17 sits on a guitar stand, "soaking it in so she'll know what to do" when it's her turn.

What is this? F*@& #%! and have a glorious....day..hehehrehehe
:.)

Moon Dog, Hicksville USA

Nice "smiley" at the end of your insightful letter, man. What's that speck between the eyes and mouth supposed to be, your brain? (Note to self -- must stop giving our visitors such a hard time.)

I am spent, musically speaking, and your music is precisely the direction I would like to proceed! The next time you fellows are in town, drop me a line. We could lay down some tracks and have Linda fix us a veggie burger.

Sir Paul McCartney, UK

Oy! That's the ticket then, in' it? Tell Linda we like ours medium rare.

Seven days without water makes one ----. If you can read me I'm in for anything from saucy to strokes.

HiJack, Kuala Lumpur

As far as we can tell, the blanks in this fine old Malaysian proverb stand for "healthy, wealthy and wise". Which is more than we can say about old Jack here.

With the Christmas season upon us the question that is on all our minds is "What do the Saucy Lads ask for as Christmas presents?"

Reginald

World peace. Food for the hungry. And Saucy Lasses for all, except maybe the previous correspondent.

I love *r** and *n** *e*.....interested?

Robyn S., Lake Luzerne, NY

Cor, blimey! We got so excited typing this one in we kept hitting the asterisk key by mistake!

I think your site is slow and useless.

Josh B., Cyberspace

Okay, Josh. Take your computer mouse in your right hand. Hold it up to your mouth. Take a deep breath and in a clear voice say three times "Has anybody seen Mike Raynium?"

Upon scrutinization of your site I am dismayed to find that it lacks in visual images that project the overwhelmingly strong sexuality of the band. It is a little known fact that you were formerly the "Sexy Lads", a buffont haired, makeup wearing, glam rock band from the 80's that is in the Guinness Book of Records as having the lowest hit ratio based on distribution of backstage passes to young females. The site is in need of the "Playgirl" proofs that Simon provided for the steamy magazine years ago. Put them in and we can then refer to you as the "Spicey Lads" !!!!

Mrs. Wagbottom (Simon's mother-in-law)

We know who you are, "Reginald". Watch it or you'll find your rendition of "She" on the Sound Bites page for all to download.

Well, gotta say, you boys have got de beat. Truth to tell, never hoid a sound like yours down in the Delta. Mebbe we can jam together someday. Let me know if you want to shake out some sounds with BB and the rest of the boys. We blues men just on a tour raht now of southern Ontaria, next gig in Hensall. Hope to see yall on stage. Sunday Sex have de feel of blues all over it.

Blind Lemon Pledge, De Delta

We swear we don't make these letters up. There's some real nutty folk down in De Delta, though. Next they'll be getting their dog to write in or something.

Hey, Lads! You should check us out! The Garbanza Gals are one of the coolest groups around -- musical mistresses, sirens of sound, we're so hot we can barely brush our hair: sizzlin'! You can catch our act by tuning in to the Hensall Radio Station DHDY. Big gig coming up this weekend! Hope you-all can make it. Stay cool -- the Gals.

Garbanza Gals, Wonderland

Hmmm...Hensall again. We might just have to swing by in the mighty Lads' tour bus and check this place out.

Oy! Glad to know yr there, even when yr not (word 'as it, Nigel is on Hols). Well, you lot are too cool, that's all I know. Can't wait to don bowling shoes with the music master and Drivin' Dan has a few surprises up his bowling shirt! Keep rockin'!

Bluesy Babs, Hip in Hensall

Hey, this is a family website, eh? Enough about the kinky bowling activities. And Nigel denies being addicted to hols...it's just a sore throat, okay? 8-)

Hey, You! Hello? Are you there?

Anonymous, "My mind"

Hello? Helloooo? Hmm. I guess they must have hung up.

Wow!! What a web site !!! It's better than a one dog orgy!!! Not!

Simon, Bolivia

Sigh. Guitarists are so temperamental.

Wow! As an erstwhile purveyor of alternative musings, it beehoves me to think you guys are not -- I repeat, NOT -- locked up somewhere. Alas, I enjoyed the perusal.

Fester M., Jonestown

Thanks. Aren't you somebody's uncle, Fester?

Welcome to the 90's! When are we going to quaff again?

Colin Albritons, Suburbia

There's a keg chilling as we speak.

I've never heard of you before...sorry...

Andria, Redneck Hell

Now your message is posted here and you're famous along with us, Andria.

I just want to say to the whole world that I have slept with the Saucy Lads. Why, just the other night I was listening to a Lads tape and I slept through the whole thing.

Karen W., Plymouth England

Karen is now under the power of our backwards-masked subliminal messages and will do anything we say.

You guys are awesome, totally rad, naf to the max.

Nigel's mum, Somewhere in Finland

Thanks mum.

Belly up to the Basement Jam Navigation Bar:

Back to the Basement Jam!