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Noddy Scones (Lead Vocals, Tambourine, Shaker, Rice Jar, Crackly Cord) What Noddy lacks in "exactitude of pitch" (some might call it "singing in tune"), he makes up for in a willingness to expend every megawatt of sound energy his vocal chords can muster for any old song written on the back of a napkin. Would you be willing to make the same sacrifice for your art? Such is the stuff of basement jamming. |
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Simon Wedgies (Guitars, Bass, Clarinet, Penny Whistle, Mouth Trumpet, High Vocals) Reclusive Lads' axeman and clarinet player Simon Wedgies has been seen skulking about recently, wearing a green jacket and muttering "Suga Duga" under his breath. He does not endorse any particular brand of guitar strings, but can recommend a pint of Newcastle Brown to cure what ails ya'. War? Huh!! What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'…say it again. |
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Nigel Buckingham Smith (Keyboards, Synthesizers, Piano, Guitars, Bass, Mouth Organ, Beat Box, FX, Multitrack, Strained Vocals) Golly gosh golly gosh golly gosh. Piano playing's got to improve, got to improve. Don't bang on the air ducts, you're getting dust all over the equipment. The toilet overflowed and it's raining on my Roland! She does not have dockworker's hands, there's nothing wrong with her hands. Yeah, we got a few tracks left. Oh man, I got salt poisoning from the peanuts. Born to be mild… Nigel formerly performed live with Wiplash and with the Static Clingons. |
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Jonathan "Tease" Thomas (Drums, Acoustic Guitar, Trumpet, Beer Bottle, Pipe, I-Beam, Air Duct, Wood Block, Golf Ball, Hockey Puck, Neil Young Vocals) JT-squared enjoys hitting inanimate objects with sticks, a very important quality in a percussionist. He exhibits an uncanny ability to cram any desired quantity of lyrics into a musical phrase. For example, most people would have trouble fitting "Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini" over the music to "Yesterday" by the Beatles. Not JT. It's always interesting for the band when he applies these rhythmic abilities behind the drum kit. |
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Percival Public (Bass, Thwackety Thwack Bass, Fretless Bass, Fretful Bass, Bottom End) What is the most succinct definition of our good friend Percy Pub? Hmm, let's ask the old 'pooter...type in p-e-r-c-y--p-u-b and hit the thesaurus button..."PERDITION TAVERN". No, that's not quite it, let's ask again..."DESTRUCTION BAR". Closer, let's continue..."RUIN ROD". That's it! "Are ye daft Percy? Ye canna get to the brewpub that way, ye've taken the ruin rod! I'll take the high rod an ewe take the low rod, and I'll get te that pint afore ye." Aye, but he's the best bass player the Lads' have got. |
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C. Harold "Slappy" Cheeks (Fount of Audio Engineering Knowledge, Audience Participation) If you download any of our songs--please see the Sound Bites link--you won't actually hear Slappy making any noise unless you listen very carefully. That's him breathing in the background with a bemused expression on his face. Anybody who has spent any time behind a mixing console knows that it is a musical instrument unto itself, and can turn a dozen tracks of coal into a diamond mix (well, there are limits as we ably demonstrate). Nigel is but a dilettante next to the master of the fader, Slappy. |
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Colin Albritons (Guest Vocals) Colin enjoys quaffing an ale or two with the band and waggling his vocal chords in front of the microphone. Depending on how many ales you have quaffed, you may find the results quite melodic yourself. This whole Dolly the sheep thing is old hat to Colin, who has successfully created two human clones the old fashioned way. Like other dyslexic agnostics the world over, he is struggling with the age old question, "Is there a Dog?" |
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Teddy "Ace" Garments (Guest Bass and Vocals) Original bass player for the band, "Ace" usually puts in an appearance at the Basement Jam. "Ace" likes to work around high voltages at great heights above the cold, hard earth. Constant proximity to danger is reflected in his supercharged, dynamic vocal work and in a mastery of the "doorbell" bass style. He'll also come in handy around the lighting rigs at our next stadium gig. |
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Spanner Nicely (Guest Vocals) span'ner, n. gripping tool for working
with nuts; person who spans. Indeed
he does, and quite nicely I might add. Spanner's vocal
performances are nothing less than gripping and we are, without
a doubt, a bunch of nuts. Your faithful scribe never passes up
an opportunity for a double entendre, either.
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Want more than these funky
mystical icons?
Looking for photos of the band?
Want to send fan mail, hate mail, chain mail, fe-mail?
Try looking in Groupies' Corner!
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Meet The Band |
Sound Bites |
Sound Bites Archive |
Groupies Corner |
Well Of Inspiration |
Compendium |
