His eyes fell to his own picture. Frowning slightly, he tried to recognize himself in that person standing in the middle of a hallway, looking back at the camera.

He was wearing a suit, white unbuttoned shirt on. His hair was so long, just like in the other pictures Brian had showed him back in hospital. Kevin shook his head, raised his eyes, his hand going to his hair. It was longer now, not as long as it used to be, but longer than the first time he had seen it. His fingers could feel the spikes of a weeklong hair. His hand moved to his mustache and goatee. He had asked the guys as he had intended. They had looked at each other and it had been Howie who spoke up. Let it be, Howie had said, just trim it around. And so, he had done. Or tried his best. He was still getting used to it.

He sighed softly, his eyes falling back to the CD case. This was their Black & Blue Album. Ariadne had brought it along with some other stuff for Kevin to go through. He had a full box of memorabilia to look at. He had just taken a quick glance at it and it went from their whole collection of Albums to the videos of some of their performances. A lifetime to remember, a lifetime he didn't remember.

Kevin shook his head, looking at the names of the songs all around the edge of the case. Finding the number of the song, he pressed forward until the stereo reached eight. He hit play, placing the case on top of the stereo and reaching for his sheet of the lyrics.

I can see that you've been crying
You can't hide it with a lie
What's the use in you denying
That what you have is wrong
I heard him promise you forever
But forever's come and gone
Baby, he would say whatever
It takes to keep you blind
To the truth between the lines, oh...

Kevin sang the last verse along with the lyrics and he realized still, he didn't seem to be hit the right note. He sighed, following into the chorus.

I will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that

At least now he recognized where Nick sang solo. He hadn't until very recently. He just kept singing along.

Baby, you deserve much better
What's the use in holding on
Don't you see it's now or never
'Cause I just can't be friends
Baby knowing in the end, that...

He was just about to enter on the second chorus when he heard his door opening. He turned around, his eyes falling onto the face that peaked through.

"Hey."

"Hey," Kevin said back, tilting his head to the side. "You have a very weird fascination with peaking your head through doors, right?"

The boy chuckled, walking in, more like swaying from side to side very boyishly. He shrugged nonchalantly, a wide grin on his face. "I'm used to it. Every once in a while, someone doesn't want to be interrupted. There were times when that someone was you." He squinted his eyes slightly, looking at the stereo for a second, the chorus almost ending. The left corner of his mouth twitched upwards. "I see you're practicing."

Kevin hit pause, turning to look at his friend. He shrugged casually, trying not to make a big deal out of it. "Claudia keeps saying I don't hit the note, so I thought I'd give it a shot."

"I can give you hand, if you want."

Thinking about it for a moment, Kevin finally nodded. "Yeah. I could use the help." He pressed play once again, Brian's voice coming back to life.

"You back up AJ. You remember that, right?"

Kevin nodded as he tried to concentrate on the note. He waited.

It takes to keep you blind
To the truth between the lines, oh...

Nick's eyes fell to Kevin's face, eyes shut, brow furrowed. He focused on things just like he used to. The same frown of concentration on the older man's features.

When the music stopped after the chorus, Kevin opened his eyes in surprise. "What happened?"

"You're trying too hard." The chorus had been totally wrong, but Nick couldn't bring himself to say that. Kevin was having enough of a hard time from Claudia as it was. "You just have to let it flow."

Kevin sighed. Claudia had said the same thing a couple of days ago just as he was leaving practice. He hadn't believed her then and he didn't believe Nick now. "I have to try and get it."

"I know you do, but you can't just force yourself to sing it. You have to want to sing it."

Kevin snorted slightly. He didn't want to sing it. Not when he kept getting it wrong over and over again.

"Lets sing it together, okay?"

Kevin nodded, waiting for Nick to count.

"One, two, three."

And Kevin followed.

I will love you more than that
I won't say the words
Then take them back
Don't give loneliness a chance

Nick's blue eyes softened, gazing straight at Kevin as he sang his solo, the words meaningful in his voice.

Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that

Nick stopped and paused for a moment. He let a slow sigh; he didn't know why he felt like trembling. Kevin had been wrong, again. "Hmm... try singing it slower, like your singing a lullaby. Kinda like whispering. You're bass. You always hit the lower notes. You're great at that."

Well, he'd have to give Nick that one, because Kevin wouldn't bring himself to believe it. Still, he tried again. Kevin sang the whole chorus, even Nick's line.

It was better, Nick realized, but Kevin still didn't hit the right note. He was close, Nick could see it, but not close enough.

"Try it again," Nick said, biting the corner of his lower lip. "Let it come from your stomach."

Kevin nodded, singing it one more time. This time, he wasn't even close.

Nick shook his head. "No Kev, with sentiment, with feeling. This is a very nice song. You just have to hit the right note."

"Easy for you to say," Kevin said harshly. "You hit it at the first try, you hit it at every try. I've been doing it for a week and I can't seem to get it." He snorted dryly. "I can't do it Nick. I can't sing."

Nick frowned. "That's not right. You can sing. I've heard you sing for years."

"That wasn't me."

The words hit him like stock of bricks so hard against his chest he couldn't breathe. He closed his eyes as he let out a long sigh. The words were running through his mind so fast and so loud, his head was starting to hurt.

"I know you feel like you can't get it, but that'll change." Nick opened his eyes slowly, staring at Kevin face. "I know it'll change. The music is in you; it was always in you. Maybe you don't remember it, but you don't have to. Once you get it right, you'll like it. I always hate things at the beginning, when I suck at them, but one time, and not so long ago, you taught me not to give up, only to try harder." He bit his lower lips once more as his eyes hurt. "You just have to try harder."

Going through Nick's words carefully, slowly, Kevin finally nodded, his jaw set. "Then I guess I just have to practice some more, right?"

Nick laughed, the tension breaking as he nodded. "Yeah. And I can help you with it. I'll talk with the guys and we can practice tomorrow. After all, we don't do anything on Sundays."

The corners of Kevin's lips twitched slightly upward. "Thanks."

"Sure. Now, let try that again, okay."

Kevin nodded again. "Okay."

*****

Kevin looked at the remote for a minute. He recognized the Play button and hit it. The TV showed static for a second, then it went dark. Kevin frowned, his eyes darting from the TV to the numbers changing as the seconds passed by on the liquid screen of the VCR.

When he looked up again, he could see some lights shinning from different places. And then, screams. Oh so very loud, it took Kevin by surprise.

It took him a minute to realize there was movement on the upper left corner of the screen. There they were, all five of them, on blue skateboards, swaying through the air. Kevin couldn't do anything but stare at his younger self among the other four.

The boys landed on the corner of the pentagonal stage, saluted, then walked along the edge of the same.

And when AJ reached the end of the stairs planning on going to the kitchen for something to eat just before dinner, seeing Kevin sitting barely inches from the TV surprised him. It took only ten more seconds for the beginning chords of Larger than Life to start and for him to recognize the video.

He walked towards Kevin's side, the older man not having seen him yet, and just stayed there for a moment. The five guys on the screen sang and danced their hearts out, not missing a cue, not messing up a step. And each time Kevin looked at the camera, AJ couldn't help but flinch. That Kevin had passion in his eyes, that Kevin would look at his four younger friends every once in a while on the stage to make sure everything was fine.

AJ's eyes darted from the TV to Kevin sitting in front of it and he couldn't help but think that the Kevin on the TV knew them, this one, his back to AJ, didn't. That knowledge pressed his chest tight, making it difficult for him to breath.

But he will learn how to, something in his mind told him. It won't take him long. The same way he learned eight years ago, he will learn now.

Sensing someone else in the room, Kevin turned his eyes around and found dark brown eyes looking back at him.

"That's us," AJ stated, his eyes darting towards the TV once again.

Kevin nodded, following AJ's gaze. "Yeah. Ariadne gave me a couple of things some days ago, that time she came over one night."

Alex bit his lower lip as he saw his younger self singing Larger than Life with heart felt enthusiasm. Ariadne had, indeed, came two nights ago, left some things for Kevin, a couple of papers for the guys to look at -- their next week schedule -- told them to be good boys, to remember to do their own laundry, say hi to Leigh and left. Just like that. Alex barely had time to look at her before the girl was gone.

Before Kevin could ask anything, before he could ask AJ to explain exactly what was happening, the rest of the gang came down for dinner. The other three were soon by his side, looking at the video as the song finished.

Seconds later, another song started. Kevin could recognize the lyrics from one of the Albums; he just didn't remember which one. As he saw himself dancing with the same blue plastic like vest of Larger than Life, he wondered if they hadn't done that song yet or if they weren't going to do it at all.

"Which song is that?" Kevin found himself asking aloud.

The guys looked at each other for a moment.

"The one," Nick said after thinking it. "We don't do it on the concert though," he added as an after thought. "We used to, but not anymore."

"I thought I heard it somewhere."

"It's in the Millennium album," Brian said. "You probably heard it there."

Kevin nodded to himself. He probably had.

"We just do a bunch from the previous album. You'll see a couple of songs here that are quite old, but we keep doing."

"Yeah," Alex added to Howie's comment. "Like Show me the meaning."

Kevin lifted one eyebrow, thinking about the name. "I thought the name was longer than that."

Brian nodded. "The whole name is Show me the meaning of being lonely."

"The one where we all sing?"

Giving Kevin a small smile, Nick nodded. "Yep, the one where we all sing. The name is so long, we always call it just Show me the meaning."

"But I'll never break your heart is even older than that," Howie said as an after thought. He could still remember the five of them, sitting in this tiny little studio, trying not to mess up the song. AJ would always improvise during the last paragraph. Nice memories, he thought to himself. Important ones. "That song is from our very first Album," he finished with a smile.

"Hey, All I have to give is old too," Brian added.

"But we just do half of it," Nick said, walking over to the couch and sitting by Kevin's side. "We kinda complete it with If you stay. It's a slow song that never came out in the albums. They fit together rather nicely."

All this time, Kevin just kept nodding, trying to keep up with the conversation.

"We haven't try it yet," Howie thought aloud. "I'm sure Fatima is going to do the hat routine next."

"Hat routine?"

This time Brian answered the question. "Yeah, last tour, we had a hat routine with As long as you love me, now we shifted it to If you stay. I'm sure you'll like it. We dress up like cowboys and dance in line. It's really cool."

"You look better as a cowboy than I do though," Nick pouted, sighing.

The guys chuckled, and this time, even Kevin gave a small laugh. Picturing Nick as a cowboy was a funny sight.

"I'm glad to amuse you."

That only ticked Kevin off some more, chuckling along. The guys joined, and Nick pouted some more.

And, without any of them realizing, Leigh crept over to the last step of the stairs, leaning against the banister, looking at the boys. They just continued their chattering about the songs, the steps, the pyrotechnics and the stage, neither of them realizing someone else was watching their interaction.