He turned around, going over to his bed, picking up his brow jacket, his favorite so far. How could it not be, it was so soft and so warm. He shrugged into it, going over to the door, getting his bags on the way.

He made his way downstairs, placing them by the living room so he wouldn't forget anything. His eyes drifted over to the French doors leading to the back yard.

His eyes squinted a little, his feet deciding over himself, leading him to the door. He slid them open, walking into the grass.

Sighing softly, Kevin lifted his head to the sky, taking in a deep breath, the smell of the grass and the purity of the forest reaching for every sense.

He took a step deeper into the forest, his eyes going on every side of him, finding himself surrounded by anything but trees. He took in another deep breath.

He loved it here. There was no doubt about that. He loved it. The grass, the forest, the solitude. Everything just called out to him, reached for him and expected for him to feel as comfort as it was offered to him. And he was. He felt at ease.

He didn't think that maybe he was getting too far into the forest, that he hadn't told the guys. The thought of them worrying over Kevin never even crossed his mind as his feet led him deeper and deeper.

He closed his eyes slowly, his mind relaxing to its fullest. In here, in the silence of the trees and grass he didn't have to wonder about his future. He didn't have to be afraid of what was to come, of the things he'd have to do, of the way he'd have to pretend. His mind and body didn't shake only by the thought of the thousand of people he had seen in the videos standing all around him. He didn't need to wonder how it would be to meet more people than the six he already knew so well. In here, he wasn't afraid. And that was what called out more to him.

*****

Suitcases in hand, Brian made his way down the stairs. He reached the living room, placing his bags by the couch. He straightened himself up, wiping some sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, his eyes drifting over to the two bags standing by the center table. Brian frowned. Those were Kevin's bags, obviously.

He turned around, eyes wondering over the place, not finding anyone there. But where was Kevin?

"Hey there," Howie greeted as he let his bags fall onto the floor unceremoniously, sitting loudly on the couch. "Gosh, I was getting used at getting up at seven am, being awake at six it's kinda weird."

"Where Kevin?" Brian finally asked out loud.

"What?"

"Kevin, where is he?" Brian asked once again.

Before Howie could say anything, ask what Brian was talking about, Nick came down the stairs, a half asleep Alex right behind him.

"This is what happens when you get used at waking up at a decent hour," Alex said, rubbing his eyes with his fists. He yawned loudly, crocking his head to the side, his knuckles popping. "Gosh, I'm gonna fall dead on the plane."

"Where's Kevin?" Brian's blue eyes were wide, his face serious.

Nick blinked away the fogginess still filling his mind this early. "Kevin? He's probably in his room." He smiled softly. "He's not used getting up this early, maybe we--"

Brian shook his head, interrupting Nick before he could continue the sentence. "No, he came down here." He pointed at the older man's bags. "Those are his. I know it because I helped him pack last night. Where is he?"

"Yo, Bri, hold on," Alex said, lifting his hands in the air, palms opened, as he tried to think straight this early, "maybe he's upstairs."

Letting out a long breath, Brian paused. "Kevin!" He yelled, walking over to the bottom of the stairs, taking a couple of steps up. "Kevin! Kevin, answer!"

Nothing.

Alex shook his head, making his way towards the second floor, going past a serious Brian, taking two steps at a time. "Kevin! Kevin, this isn't funny." He said, slamming Kevin's bedroom door open, looking inside. He turned around, walking over to the top of the stairs. "He's not here."

That was enough for the other two, Nick and Howie, to go over to the kitchen and bathroom. Brian stood where he was, shaking his head. "This can't be happening again, please, don't let it happen again", he whispered under his breath.

Both Nick and Howie walked back to the living room, where Alex had joined them, shaking their heads.

Nick sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Where could he be?"

"He wouldn't leave," Howie said, more to himself than to the four, "he wouldn't do that."

Brian snorted painfully, eyes filled with sorrow. "It wouldn't be first time."

"Don't be a jerk Brian, we're not in the mood, alright?" Alex said sarcastically. "You know Kevin would not leave when we gotta go to the airport."

"He would have told us," Howie added.

Nick nodded. "He would have said something."

"He didn't last time."

"God dammit Brian!" Alex glared at the older man, who only stood, eyes lowered. "Don't go there, alright? I'm not in the mood to put up with your bullshit right now."

Nick turned around slowly, covering his face with his hands. He rubbed his eyes. He had to try and think. The guys were talking among each other, but Nick didn't hear anything. He couldn't. He didn't think he could go through all that again. When he opened his eyes, they landed on the French doors leading to the back yard. They were ajar.

"Guys," Nick said softly. "Guys," he repeated. "Who closed the back door last night?"

Ales groaned. "What's the fucking point?"

"Who?" Nick raised his voice, turning around.

Alex sighed. "I did."

"You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I'm not idiot Nick."

Nick let out a long sigh he didn't know he had been holding. "They are open."

"What?" Alex walked over to where Nick was standing, looking at the doors. "I closed them." He paused. "Do you think he went to the yard?"

Brian shrugged, trotting over there, opening them fully. "Kevin!" He yelled as soon as his feet touched the grass. "Kevin!"

All three of them joined Brian in the back, walking over the short grass, almost reaching the trees.

"Kevin!"

"Yo! Kev!"

"Kevin!!!"

Brian crocked his head to the side, the knuckles of his neck popping. His left shoulder blade was starting to hurt. "Where is he?"

"Do you think he went deeper?"

Nick shook his head at Howie's question. "No way. He could get lost."

"Maybe Kevin thought he wouldn't," Alex tried to reason.

Nick shook his head once again. "He wouldn't."

"Don't be so sure."

Nick turned around, looking at Brian. "What the fuck is wrong with you? If you're gonna keep this up Brian, I swear, I'll kick your ass."

The older man only let out a long sigh, looking down at the grass. He lifted his eyes a moment later, gazing at his friends. "He probably did go deeper. It's the only way."

"I remember him saying he liked the forest," Howie added.

Alex shrugged. "What else do we have?" When neither of them said anything, he continued. "Then lets go."

And so, all four of them walked deeper into the forest.

"Kevin!"

"Should we call the police?"

Nick shook his head. "It will do no good. They can't do anything until he's been missing forty eight hours."

Alex turned around, a puzzled look on his face. "How do you know that?"

"Don't you watch TV?"

Alex snorted.

"Kevin! You there!"

"Kev!"

It was Alex who first spotted him. He run towards the older man, who was standing a couple of feet away. "Kevin! Kevin! Guys, here!"

Kevin seemed not to hear him at first, turning around after a moment. He frowned. "Alex?"

Alex only hugged him tightly, Kevin surprised at the action, but closing his arms around the younger man after a moment. Alex pulled away at arm's length, looking at Kevin. "Where were you?"

The guys reached them, relieve visible in their eyes. Nick let out a long sigh, closing his eyes slowly.

"I--" Kevin started, startled at seeing the guys worried. "What happened?"

"We didn't find you, that's what happened," Brian said, slightly angry.

Kevin looked down. "Sorry."

Howie turned around, glaring at Brian. Idiot, he mouthed. Brian sighed.

"Kevin," Brian said, placing his hand on Kevin's shoulder, squeezing it. "I... we were worried. I came down to the living room, and I didn't find you. We didn't know where you were."

Kevin grimaced slightly. "I just wanted to see the forest."

"That's good," Alex said, speaking slowly, trying not to show his frustration as well, "just tell us next time, will ya?"

Kevin didn't think about it, just nodded. He could see they were more than worried. "Sure."

Brian sighed, forcing a smile. "What dot you say we go now? We shouldn't be late."

Kevin nodded.

Patting Kevin's shoulder, Alex motioned for Kevin to walk, Alex by his side. Howie joined them, saying something nor Brian nor Nick could hear.

Nick leaned over, hands on his knees. He could feel his chest tight, his eyes filling with tears out of nowhere, his throat suddenly constricting against itself. It hurt to breath.

"He's fine."

Nick nodded slowly at Brian's words. He tried to breath, but it only came out as a chocked sob. He forced his lungs to work, but they didn't budge. Nick shook his head. He was fine.

"He's fine," he told himself, his voice hoarse. "He's fine." Nick lifted tearful blue eyes at Brian, whose vision was blurred as well. "He is, isn't he?"

Brian nodded as well, his face in a painful grimace. "He is."

Nick turned his face to the side, nodding, his breathing irregular. He dropped his head once again, biting his lower lip. He couldn't control his actions. He couldn't control his feelings. It hurt. Deep inside him, everything hurt. Just the thought of Kevin being lost, of something horrible happening to him again killed him. He chocked back a sob, his arm going over to his mouth, biting it slightly. He couldn't do anything but try to calm down.

He opened his mouth wide, wanting to scream, but nothing came out. He was empty. Only a puff of air came out forcefully, his last breath leaving him.

He shook his head forcefully. He's fine, he told himself again. He had to convince himself. Taking in a deep breath, he let it out slowly. Every couple of breath, he would chock back in anguish, but it diminished as his breathing evened, his heart picking up his rhythm. Still, Nick waited another moment before straightening up.

He closed his eyes, sighing again. He opened them slowly, Brian standing in front of him.

Brain cleared his throat, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He paused. "We should go."

"Yeah," Nick said lowly.