Even in sleep, he seemed haunted, taunted.

And he didn't need another second to know the dream by memory. It always started the same way.

He was standing in his hotel room, doing nothing really. He was in his body, looking at the room like they usually were whenever they staid. He never knew why, but he would walk over to the window. Maybe he knew something, maybe he felt something, he didn't know that. He just did it. And now, he did it as well.

He pulled the curtains with his hands, looking down at the street. There were people going around, sounds and voices he really couldn't recognize, nor remember after he'd wake up. But there was someone he would never mistake.

There, black hair, dark coat. It was Kevin. There was no mistake in it, and Nick knew it. He saw Kevin pulling the neck of his coat higher. It was freezing. Even in the room, he could tell it was freezing.

Nick stood there, face consorted in pain, a grimace in his lips as he saw Kevin starting to walk down the street. Without a second thought, he turned around, going for the door. He never saw the stairs or remembered actually walking out of the hotel. He only remembered being on the street already, the hotel nowhere to be seen. He walked through the crowd in the cold night.

He tried to push his way through the people, to get to Kevin. Somehow, he knew what would happen if he continued walking. Something in Nick's mind told him to get Kevin, that otherwise the robbery would occur. Nick had the option to stop that, and he would anything in his power to do it.

But he could seem to walk fast enough, or push strong enough. He could see the top of Kevin's head a couple of feet in front of him and he would yell his name, but Kevin wouldn't hear him. Even now, Nick wasn't even sure if he could hear the name coming out of his own lips. He continued trying to call out after Kevin, hoping the older man would hear him. But he never heard. He always continued walking, his back to Nick.

In his heart, Nick knew that as long as Kevin was in his eyesight, he would be all right. He wouldn't get mugged, he would see the attacker before Kevin, he would save Kevin.

And so, he kept following Kevin. He sees his hand going over to Kevin's shoulder. He doesn't know how he finally reached him. He can't see anyone around them. The people are all gone. Still, he can't wait to see the green eyes looking back at him. He can't wait to see recognition in them, to see a smile on Kevin's lips at seeing Nick.

Nick's hand touches Kevin's shoulder, and the older man turns around. Nick is smiling, he knows he is, even as his heart constricts at the hollow look on Kevin's green eyes. Nick pauses, his heart freezing at the moment. His mind tells him it can't be, that Kevin hasn't been attacked yet, that there's no reason for Kevin's confusion.

But there's no reason in his dream. Kevin tilted his head, his lips pressed into a thin line. "Who are you?"

The words cut through the cold night like a knife and Nick's heart stopped. He shook his head, disbelieve all over his face. He told himself this can't be happening again. This just can't, not when he was so close at saving Kevin. He took a couple of steps back, trying to get away from Kevin who keeps looking at him with a black face. He didn't recognize Nick.

Taking another step back, Nick stumbled, crashing onto the cement floor. He turned around, trying to find the reason of his falling, only to find a body lying on the floor.

Nick could feel fear all over his body. He knew. He knew who was there, from personal experience. He knew who was there, as it was always the same person, the same body, the same coat. It was the same every night. It was the same in every dream.

But that didn't stop Nick from reaching out, his body moving against his wishes, his hand touching the back slightly, going over to the shoulder to turn the body around. When it turned, Nick gasped, his hand going to his mouth. He cried out, he couldn't help it.

It was Kevin lying on the floor, blood oozing from a shoot on his head and filling the floor in a dark red cover that seemed endless, dripping from the sideway into the streets and running down the road. Nick looked at his hands with fear and they were tainted with blood, Kevin's blood, over his palms and the back. He tried to take a step back, to run away, to get away from the body of his friend, but his legs didn't respond and he could do nothing but sit there, blood on his hands like he had murdered Kevin himself, and blood on his shirt.

He tried scramble away, his legs pushing against the cement, but seemingly useless as he sat there, barely inches away from Kevin's unseen eyes and cold body, in the middle of that blood, his own eyes staring at the red liquid dripping from his fingers as tears run down his cheeks.

He cried out softly as he sat down on his bed, eyes opened wide, sweat on his face and chest. He panted heavily, looking at his hands in fear.

They were normal. There was no blood in them, but they were trembling. And looked again to make sure, he looked at his fingers and his nails, not a trace of blood in them. Then, he gazed down at his chest, his t-shirt white and not reddish like he expected it to be.

Nick took in a shaky breath, letting it out slowly. His teeth were chattering against it other and he tried pressing his lips into a line. He could feel his whole body trembling with an unfathomable fear that gripped him from the inside, pressing his heart tightly and making it hard to breath

It was like that every night. The same dream. The same pained feeling as he looked at Kevin's empty eyes and dread covering every fiber of his soul as he turned the corpse around. He leaned over, trying to catch his breath as his heart raced.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of the cobwebs still lingering in his mind from the dream.

"It was a dream," he whispered softly to himself. "It was just a dream. Kevin is fine. He's in his room, two doors down the hallway, sleeping peacefully. He's fine."

Nick let out a long sigh, nodding to himself. Kevin was fine. He wasn't dead. Kevin was fine; as was Nick. And he was in his room, not on the streets. In his room, in his bed, Kevin two doors from his own sleeping soundly probably, and his body would be warm and not cold, not cold like he could still remember his fingers touching it. Not cold

Pushing the covers to the side, Nick stood up, barefooted and with only boxer shorts and t-shirt on his chest. He walked out of the room and down the hallway.

He shook his head as he reached the beginning of the stairs. He had to get a grip on himself. He had to get his act together. It had been over a week since the last time he had had a decent night sleep. It was awful.

He didn't know what had caused the nightmares in the first place. He had been fine until a couple of days after he shared the bed with Kevin. Nick paused in mid step. Was that maybe it? He shook his head as he dismissed the idea. Now way. That had been the best night for him -- ever. And even as he sighed softly, he could still feel the warmth of Kevin's body against his own, the feel of Kevin's breathing against his neck and Nick's heart contracted, but this time it wasn't fear, it was longing.

Nick had been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize there was someone else in the living room until he was three steps from the first floor, his eyes going over to the man.

Kevin was standing in the middle of the living room, eyes focused on the turned on TV as he watched himself doing one of their concerts. Nick stayed there for a moment, watching Kevin. The older man paused the TV for a second, going through the steps of "Get another Boyfriend", messing up on the clapping.

"Kevin?"

Kevin turned around, surprised on his face. "Nick?"

Nick ended the last steps from the stairs, going to stand by Kevin's side. "Kev, what are you doing here so late?"

The older man, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, shrugged nonchalantly. "I was just..."

"You were practicing?"

Kevin couldn't help but nod, his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Why?" To say he was surprise would be an underestimation. Nick couldn't grasp the concept, the reason why Kevin would practice in the middle of the night instead of sleep.

Kevin shrugged again. "I couldn't get them."

All right, but that certainly wasn't the reason to stay up late practicing. Not even in their worst moments, when they couldn't seem to follow the rhythm of a song, neither of them had done that -- that Nick knew of, at least.

Nick closed his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. It would do no good to lose his temper at this moment. It would probably only make matter worse if Kevin thought it was personal, and the older man surely would end up thinking that.

And so, Nick only let out a long sigh, opening his eyes slowly. "Kevin," Nick started, "it doesn't matter how bad you're doing it, or how little you get it, you shouldn't stay up late practicing." He paused, thinking his words carefully. Nick had never been the one to give advice, or correct either of his friends -- he had always been the one on the receiving end.

Biting back the grimace at thought, Nick could remember vividly most of the time Kevin had given him a good advice, or should a listening ear to vent. He could remember Kevin's parental tone in it's fullest, wisdom of nine years his senior coming out of every pore. If there was one person who was cut for the job of advice giver and listener, if there was someone born for it, then that person could only be Kevin. That was only one of the many reason why Nick forced himself to try to remember Kevin's phrases, his words of advice in this occasion, and tried not to think of the irony of using Kevin's words on Kevin's own persona.

"We've all felt like we just suck at this and should probably never dance again," Nick said with a small smile, hoping Kevin would reciprocate. It only took a moment for the smile to make its way over to Kevin's lips. Nick was proud of himself for achieving so much. "It's awful, we hate that feeling, but it happens. You're not the only one who can't follow to steps every once in a while. I have been there, Brian has been there." Nick leaned over, Kevin getting the hint and doing as well, lowering his voice. "Even the all might king of dance Alex has been there."

Kevin chuckled at the thought, green eyes clearing visibly.

"See, it's fine," Nick said slowly, blue eyes meeting dazzling green ones. He wanted Kevin to get this, and get it good. "It's not you. It's not just you. Just give it some time."

Tilting his head slightly to the side, obviously pondering the statement, Kevin nodded after a moment.

Nick was about to make another smart remark regarding his very own lack of dancing abilities when the tide was right, when he realized something he should have seen before. He knew, in other given circumstances, Kevin would have seen it. The older Kevin would have seen it, frowned and asked sternly. Nick was still miles from reaching that point.

"Have you done this before Kevin?"

This Kevin, gaze wavering at the question, eyes lowering and the corner of the lip being bit, shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

Nick was about to sigh, when he decided against it. Kevin had probably been worried over this, feeling like he would embarrassed the group if he let them know he couldn't do this.

Nick took a step closer to Kevin, placing his hand on Kevin's shoulder. The older man lifted his head in surprise, eyes wide as they stared at Nick. The blond only smiled softly, voice barely above a whisper. "There's no reason for you to lose sleep over it. None. Nothing it's that bad." He paused for a second, choosing his words carefully. "If you really want to practice it again," Nick waited for Kevin to nod before continuing, "then we can ask Fatima to go over them once again."

"She'll kill me," Kevin stated matter of fact.

Nick could only smile. So, yeah, she would be slightly mad, knowing they had spend a large amount of time on that part of the song, but at the end she would understand. Nick knew she would. "Nah, she looks like an ogre, but she's all fluffy inside."

Kevin tilted his head, his face contorted in confusion. "I don't think she's fluffy anywhere."

Laughing at Kevin's words, Nick shook his head. "Really, don't worry." Nick squeezed Kevin's shoulder slightly, his hand staying there a moment longer than it should. Nick gazed at Kevin over his eyelashes, his head crocking to the side. "Come one," he said lowery, "lets go to bed already. It's late and Claudia will kill us if we're late tomorrow."

Kevin nodded. "Just let me turn the TV off."

"Don't worry. I'll do it."

Kevin walked over to the stairs while Nick turned the TV off, following him suitably. Nick's eyes landed on Kevin's back as he retreated to his room. He stopped himself from sighing, from thinking pointless thoughts, from going down the same road that never really helped. It only made him wonder about what ifs and fantasies of a and they lived happily ever after life that didn't exist.

As his hand reached the doorknob, Kevin turned around, eyes meeting Nick's. He gave the younger man a small smile before entering his room.

Nick stayed there, in front of his own room, eyes locked with the closed door. He let out a long sigh slowly, chest constricting. Fingers reaching for the knob, Nick shook his head. The door barely crack as he opened it. Taking step into the room, Nick wished himself not to remember how Kevin had had problems with that very same part of the dancing the first time, frustration visible in green eyes every time Nick closed his own. After all this time, he could still remember Kevin's eyes in that precise moment.

Closing the door after him, Nick stopped barely two steps from the door. He shook his head. He would not think about it. He would not wonder. And as he walked over to his bed, wishing this time he would reach a dreamless sleep, Nick thanked his only lucky star above Kevin had not asked him why he was downstairs in the first place.

*****

Fatima nodded imperceptible, the song filling her ears as she watched her boys doing the dance routine flawlessly. It was about time, her mind seemed to whisper into her ear. And it was.

It had taken them two weeks on the clock to be able to finally reached a nice and safe spot just barely above acceptable. They were some way from perfect, way further from it than she would want, but time was cutting them short.

Her trained eyes saw Kevin flinch slightly as he did the very same step that had been getting on his nerves for the past week, the hand-heel clapping, his eyes focused on his reflection in the mirror. She had told him times again and again that he shouldn't depend on that, that on the concert he wouldn't have the aid of the mirror, but the boy wouldn't understand. She could relate to that. It had been very much the same when the guys had just been starting out.

At least they had a couple of hours for practice before the concert. And given the fact that this was the first concert after such a long time, she was sure the fans would not be looking at the choreography, but at the boys. It wasn't what she wanted, it was far beyond her standard, but the situation forced her to cut her standard some slack.

Nick's eyes were concentrated on the steps, gazing slightly to the left where Kevin stood. Fatima bit back the smile. It wasn't the first time she had caught the blond looking over at Kevin. Brian's distinctive sigh was heard as he turned around, left hand pushing him to the right. Alex grinned all the while, that mad smirk of his presence all through the song. The ever tranquil Howie only smiled every once in a while, more worried about hitting the step on the right note.

For the pros the boys should be, they still had some idiosyncrasies that could only be see if you watched them practice with all their might.

The last chords of the song were heard, the guys opening then arms, right arm on their chest, left one on their back, head down.

She walked over to the small CD player, hitting stop before the next song was reached. When she turned around, the guys were looking at her. She paused, watching as their faces expected her approval. A small smile made its way over to her lips, nodding for them to see.

The guys cheered, Alex making catcalls while Kevin let out a sigh he didn't know he had been holding. Brian grinned, giving Nicky a high five as Howie smiled proudly.

"You've improved, no one can take that away from you," she said sternly, "but there's still quite a long way to go. We'll practice before every concert until you get it perfect. But as you are right now, you can perform." She allowed herself to grin fully. "Now go. You can leave."

Jumping in excitement, the guys turned around, going over to their things scatter all over the chairs in the back. Kevin, on the contraire, walked over her, a small smile on his lips.

"Thanks," he muttered when he approached her. "Thanks for everything."

She nodded, proud shinning in her eyes. "You've done it great Kevin. You're great." She paused. "And don't you ever sell yourself short," she said, accentuating every word with a poke of her finger in his chest.

Kevin only nodded. "Thanks."

"It was my pleasure."

Before either of them could say anything else, Kevin heard Alex calling for him. "Hurry up bro, let go. Dinner is waiting for us."

Kevin turned around, trotting over to where his gym bag was sitting on a chair, picking it up. The guys had already gone through the door, only Nick waiting by the threshold of the wide studio doors. Kevin took one last glance at Fatima, smile on his lips, just before reaching Nick. He turned back, following Nick over to the van waiting for the two of them, the rest of the gang already inside.

*****

Pizza was their choice for the night, neither of them really being in the mood to get something done. And as they sat all around the carpeted living room, two boxes of pizzas opened, almost emptied, the guys chattered amicably.

"Well," Alex said after taking a long swing of his coke, "I have to say I'm glad practice is over. I'm sick of having to deal with Claudia and Fatima together every day."

"Could have been worse," Howie said as he took another back of his slice.

"Can't really see how."

The guys chuckled and even Kevin laughed along. He too was tired of the constant voice coaching and dance practice.

"We leave tomorrow," Nick stated out of the blue, surprising even himself as the words left his mouth. That hadn't been what he wanted to say.

All five of them staid quite for a moment, pondering their own thoughts.

They would leave Virginia first thing in the morning, going right to their hotel in New Jersey, the concert was planned for the day after tomorrow in the Sony E-Center. Things would get back to normal after that, getting once again into the tight schedule, interviews and photo shoots. What was usual for them by now.

Things should get back to normal, Nick thought with a sour smile. Things would be back like they used to be. His eyes took a quick glance at Kevin, who was staring at his slice of pizza as he, too, thought about tomorrow. Nick would try his best for things to resemble normalcy.

"It's good," Alex said out loud, surprise his four friends. "I was starting to feel cropped up here, you know?" He chuckled. "Four walls it's far too small for me."

"Not even a hotel it's big enough for you Alex," Brian said jokingly, biting on his slice of pizza.

Alex gave Brian the finger as the five of them chuckled.

"I, for one thing," Howie said as he stood up and walked over to the fridge for another coke, "will no miss doing my laundry. Or cooking. I hate cooking."

Kevin chuckled as Nick's gaze wondered over to the older man. "I like doing laundry. I think I'm good."

"You're certainly better that Howie," Alex said with a grin.

"I can do without the cooking, alright," Brian said as well, leaning against the side of the couch, stretching his legs. They were starting to hurt from being doubled so long.

"Oh, yeah, take out it's much better that your cooking."

Brian glared at Howie. Nick chuckled, turning to look at Kevin for a second. He lowered his gaze an instant later.

AJ's eyes turned from Nick over to the slice of pizza in his hand as he frowned barely perceptible. He paused for a moment, lifting his eyes to look at Kevin, who was too busy looking at the scrap fight going on between Brian and Howie, who chuckled slightly at the two other guys.

"I think we should sing," Alex said, surprising everyone, even himself. "Like old times."

Brian shrugged, a smile on his lips. "Sure, why not."

"Like practice?" Kevin asked, slightly apprehensive.

"Not like practice," Nick said, smiling softly at Kevin. "It's so different from practice. When it's just the five of us, we sing for enjoyment for pleasure. If we suck, then we suck, but we love it every minute of it."

Kevin couldn't help but nod. "Sure."

Alex grinned from ear to ear. "Time."

The guys cleared their throat slightly as Kevin watched them follow their own personal routine for preparation. When the five were ready, they looked at each other, Kevin smiling softly, before starting the song.

Brian smirked casually, nodding slightly. "One, two, three."

Brian started, his voice lowering just a bit.

I know that I, I can't believe
Just what the path has brought me
To the man I wanna be

He stood up, walking over to the couch, leaning slightly against it as he looked at his friends.

And I know that we have had some times
That we can't forget the struggle
'Cause we have so far to go

Alex followed Brian's cue, standing up as he smiled softly, his gaze barely going over to Kevin.

I know we have changed but
Change can be so good
So let's not forget why it's understood that…
Time
Look where we are
And what we've been through
Time
Sharing our dreams
Every little bit of life with you

Brian lifted his hand as he sang the verse.

Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may

Nick smiled dreamily, standing up just as well, his eyes falling over Kevin for a second.

I remember when mom used to say
That things are getting better
And you'll soon be on your way
Remember those days, that we would sing at the drop of a dime

He paused, grinning.

Way back when nothing else mattered

Brian closed his eyes, singing the verse with heart felt passion.

I know we've changed butbr> Change can be so good

Alex raised his voice, moving his hand up and down, loving the verse.

Oh, so let's not forget why it's understood that...

Howie and Kevin stood up as well. Kevin sang the chorus with everything he had, with animosity.

Time
Look where we are
And what we've been through
Time
Sharing our dreams

"Dreams, dreams, dreams," Nick completed, a grin in his face.

Every little bit of life with you
Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may
So here we are

Alex sang the verse, looking at the five of them gathered around in the room, Kevin grinning at him when their eyes met.

And we'll always stay together

Alex believed the words he said, every one of them.

And through it all you know
We owe it all to you, you, you and you

The five of them sang the last part of the line, looking at each other, pointing at one another, chuckling like boys. The five of them were far too busy in their own world to worry about the rest. Tonight, it was just them.

Time goes on, never stops, it keeps on.

Kevin sang, feeling the words resonating in his chest and coming out of him with power, with passion.

Time

"Time", Brian sang, rising his voice above the usual note.

Look where we are
And what we've been through
Time
Sharing our dreams

"Oh I'll let you know how much we cared," Alex completed

Every little bit of life with you

They sang, passion and love coming from them.

Time it goes on and on everyday, baby
Time is what it is come what may

They lowered their voice together, singing softly.

Time, it goes on and on everyday

Brian finished on his own, his voice loud against the otherwise silent room. Blue eyes roamed his four friends, staying with them a second longer.

Time is what it is, come what may, come what may

Brian lowered his head, raising his hand above his shoulder, whispering softly the last words

The words were taken away by the wind, the room falling empty all of a sudden. They didn't break the silence, respecting it for another second.

Alex let out a long sigh, looking over at his friends. Five gazes wondered around, reaching each one of them, five similar smiles finding each other.

The dancing could be worked on, but their singing was great. This was probably their best time, ever, the closest they had ever been as a group. They were tight once again, and no one could get in the middle. It was the five of them, again.

"We're ready," Alex said with a conviction voiced by the five of them, their eyes being enough confirmation.