That '70s Drinking Game!

Have yourself a Cruiser-load of fun with

Having a Groovy Whore like Maranie, who has as warped of a mind as me(which is a feat, my friends, let me tell you), makes the rigors of evil guestbook signers and the like that much easier to deal with. Now that I have succeeded in being mushy, let me say that this game is groovelicious and wonderful, and you all should try it sometime.

Anyhoo, this is the much feared That 70s Show Drinking Game. Enjoy. Ohh, and remember--smarmy Heather comments and additions are in italics. The rest is all from the Topher dreaming mind of Maranie.

Recommended Drinks For The Happy Game Alcoholic(for all you legal, rebellious whores):

punch lousy with hooch, Heineken(anyone who can see certain pics and tell me why wins my devotion), any beer in Red Forman's fridge, one of the three beers in Kelso's hot little hands , amaretto(aka liquid candy), Old Milwaukee(hey, it's local for the Point Place folk) and anything found in a keg on the road. Kitty Forman recommends a Tom Collins or daiquiris in plastic volcano cups.

Non-Alcoholic(for all you underage and/or clean livin' types):

Cherry pop is the first choice, with root beer a close second. Also notable: Purple Nehi, Piggly Wiggly diet cream soda, punch that isn't lousy with hooch, or water from the hose outside.

Eric's drink choice: Forman family beer, with a hint of saucy redhead nearby.

Donna's drink of the moment: anything taken surreptiously by scrawny little neighbor boy, with a big pile of strawberries

Something to keep the gang occupied the next time they find a keg...

Take a drink every time...

*Hyde wears those horrid half shaded glasses(two if he's indoors at the time)

*Eric deadpans a line

*Kelso says something inherently stupid("I read one time there were these people in France...")

*The place, date, and time of the episode are stated at the beginning

*The Guys smoke pot

*Hyde comes up with a conspiracy

*Eric is called upstairs while high as a kite(four if the wallpaper's moving-hey, you have a lot of catching up to do to get to his state of mind!)

*Kitty cooks something

*Red drinks alcohol in any form

*Bob's Pinciotti's horrid perm is shown

*Bob Pinciotti is wearing a jogging suit

*Eric's hair changes color noticeably from the last episode(two if it changes mid episode like when he was dressed as a woman)

*A fantasy sequence takes place(i.e. "Doofus and Diligent", parents doing the hustle, etc.)

*Midge reveals a little too much about her life(2 if she's had a few too many--you have to catch uo with her too!)

*Hyde gives Donna love advice

*Eric is referred to as 'scrawny little neighbor boy'

*School is shown

*Someone makes a munchie reference while high("Get me some toast, you lazy bastard!"and yes, I know he didn't say that, but hey, bastard is a fun word)

*Kelso laughs without making any sound while high *Red doles out fatherly advice(two if Kitty doles out advice to Eric)

*Cross-flirting goes on(see"That Disco Episode")

*Fez wants Eric to go to the bathroom with him

*Kelso says he's breaking up with Jackie(drink an entire drink if he actually goes through with it)

*Donna and Eric kiss on the hood of the Vista Cruiser

*Anyone says 'Vista Cruiser'

*Evil Laurie shows up(two if Kelso is there)

*Someone drinks beer(two if Eric gets it for free-have one for scrawny neighbor boy!)

*Someone stumbles in conversation referring to Fez because they don't know what country he's from

*Fez refers to his country or language

*Jackie whines 'Michael!'

*Jackie rolls her eyes(hey, wouldn't you if you were dating Kelso)

*Jackie says "Hey, guys..."

*Jackie gives Donna love advice

*Jackie uses 'sex' to get Kelso to do/say something

*Donna rolls her eyes

*Donna is called a saucy redhead

*Donna asks someone for love advice

*Fez flirts with the ladies

*Eric/Topher makes a patented facial

*Kelso falls over something

Hyde's drink of choice: a Heineken, fortified with plenty of caramels and conspiracy talk

Fez's drink of all drinks: Beer, you know! Especially beer that is drank whilst being surrounded by his women! He also recommends liquid candy for when you are trying to deal with a brutal white man's winter.

Two drinks if...(most of these depend on reruns!)

*Kitty interrupts the basement antics by doing laundry

*Jackie mispronounces 'Rundgren'

*Donna asks her mom for love advice

*You see Donna's sister

*Jackie is on the phone with Kelso

*Red makes a WWII reference

*Sex is implied between Kitty and Red

*Eric streaks(drink a whole drink if Hyde, Kelso or Fez streaks!)

*Red overhears the basement conversations

*Kelso lights incense while they're all baked(drink all in sight if Kelso lights up a big fat caramel)

*Jackie wants Donna to go to the bathroom with her

*Destroy and Give Back show up

*Kelso suggests a toga party

*Kelso is wearing nothing but a sheet and roach clip

*Kelso suggests duct tape to solve a problem(like the lack of a keg tap, perhaps?)

*Jackie realizes she's dating a doofus

*Someone's parents(including the Erdmans) other than Donna's and Eric's show up(drink everything in sight if Fez's actual folks show up!)

*Eric sings ABBA tunes

Kelso's drink for the game: three very lovely signs of beer while lighting the incense and dreaming of Pam Macy

Jackie's drink of the night: Preferably Tab, though punch lousy with hooch is a close second

Drink everything in sight if...

*the girls smoke pot

*Kitty or Red smoke pot

*Fez ever says what country he's from

*Kelso breaks up with Jackie for more than one episode

*Eric actually accompanies Fez to the bathroom

*Bob Pinciotti loses the perm

*Eric asks ANYONE for love advice

*Jackie talks to anyone but Kelso's friends

*Eric and Donna do the nasty!(that is worth the hangover!)

*Donna makes a decision between Hyde and Eric

*Fez gets a woman

*Fez says 'groovy whore'

*Kelso says a word with more than 4 syllables

*One of Hyde's conspiriacies comes true!

Any suggestions for VistaWhore's Groovelicious game? E-mail me or drink all the liquid candy and dream, otay? Otay!

Dash off a note to me