(they may not leave if Snarl and Scata drive, but they come nonetheless )
So you say you want to party ? ? ? Then buckle up ranger ‘cause there’s one in the brew’in. Details and a mess of rambling "jabs" at the lot of you will follow. Most of this is a drill , given that it’s the fourth year and little has changed with our respective "attendees". Nevertheless, I present you the ultimate party-pack, as promised. The information is accurate and essential. The presentation is meant to be humorous, so if I offend you - go cry; but not in the presence of Griz because you’ll be sure to be viciously reminded of it 15 years later. If you have questions - ask them. If you have ideas - give them. If your face is always stinky - wash it. And as far a the yearly update . . .
Sober is not sober and we are pissed. Not only do we lose 1) our bragging rights for hanging with our collective antithesis and 2) any hope of keeping our gardens alive; but . . . who the hell is brave enough to drive our drunk asses around? Plus, Drunk Matt has just lost his identity ! Speedo, you may have avoided the beating in Florida, but now that the Happy Bunch has had a couple of months to let this sink in - you may just have to run. We always knew you were training for something. In other news, Griz loves tongue studs. Please get this boy help. Also, the big day is around the corner for Snarl : pictures from Florida can be picked up next week. Regardless, we are still getting together the weekend before this party and drinking in Tuxedos, right? Pia, you can still wear your skirt - (I thought Sean was the one who threatened not to attend) Who gets the extra bridesmaid, anyway? Not it.
A big "love you all but Jed" goes out to the gracious Love-Clefe for one ham-crack’n of a Bachelor party. However, the lack of a 4 a.m. tear jerking dissertation was disappointing. But. . . your roommate seemed friendly ! ! A special thanks to Squirt for a spectacular rendition of "Trampoline", "Flying Squirrel" and the crowd pleasing "Brain". Why do you even work, with talents like this? I would also like to take this time to award Sean with this year’s "Living Darwin" award. A few excerpts from his acceptance speech, "I like to sleep with the homeless. I like to sleep on the lawn. I sometimes come home from the bars, and sometimes I’m gone. I like the pretty dancers. This one thinks I’m cute. I’ll have $600 in dances please. (payment is moot) Although destroying any hope of being awarded the Team Darwin award, a congratulations must be given to Christine and DC for disqualifying themselves from the long unsettled debate of "Can a 10 x 6 foot plastic burger boy be carried 3 miles, uphill, through the best crime rated suburb of city- unnoticed?" And the winner is . . . Sean (2 time recipient), Drunk, and Nate for least amount of brain cells.
Finally, Beast has been spotted. Details to follow.
Enough already. I apologize for those who have no clue what the above is all about. Trust me that many do. The good news is, you are one of the few officially invited to the ...
4th Annual Bash in the ‘BurghCome see a plethora of advertisements referring to the World’s Largest Inland Regatta. But don’t actually expect to see the Regatta, as this has never occurred. Nonetheless, there is a Regatta !
If You Host it... They Will Come !
Outline of Information
Where’s everybody staying ? (Section 1)
Where’s everybody staying (Section II)
What’s this about a Bus?
What’s required on our part ?
What are we going to do when we get there?
Epilogue
Suggested Hotel Acommodations