So as not to confuse anybody, I would like to point out what some of the experiences are that I feel I can speak with authority. My husband died when I was 25. He was not only my husband, but my best friend. He had a problem with depression that not even I was able to break through, and at age 24 he committed suicide. Our children were ages 4yrs, 1yr and 6mos at the time. It was hard for people to relate to me, since most widows speak from a standpoint of having lived most of their lives with their spouse. I have searched and found a few references to young widows, but on the whole it is a rare and little researched subject. It is unnatural in the phases of life to experience loss of a spouse at such a young age except during times of war, I believe. Most people my age do not even bother with life insurance, much less wills. Our mortality is barely believed.

My father died when I was 9 mos pregnant with my first daughter. It was extremely hard on me at the time, as we were kindred spirits. His death at that special moment in my life was devastating in the fact that I repressed my feelings so as to bring the baby into the world surrounded with as much happiness as possible. But in later years, that repression has taken a toll on me and I am still working on loss issues. He was one of the most influential and loved people in my life, and he lives on in my heart always.

I will try my best not to make this a page a dedication to my loved ones, but more in dedication to those who are left behind to deal with death, and to lend a hand or shoulder to others who have experiences such as this. Everyone will go through this at one time or another in their life--but not everyone realizes or is ready for it.