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He hunted me the way a lion will hunt for buffalo in the jungle: striking out at the weakest of the herd because they are the easiest to kill. O, my brother, what is it you hunted for those lonley days you would use to penetrate me? What is it that I, a stumbly five-year-old kid, lost from her herd could give you that you could not give yourself? The lion is far less dangerous in that what he can destroy is merely physical- the husky bones, the tremendous neck, the thick eyes, snap!- all lost in a sunset. But you, my brother, what you broke was a part of me that could not be so easily finished off. I suffer through the steel-trap nights, Knowing, breathing, remembering what he did to me. What is your excuse? That, perhaps, it was natural instinct? Don't be kidding. I was yours and you knew it. You played me dumbly like a harp. I was your every vibration, delighting in the music, too young to see anything else. The devestation you caused has escaped from my desperate supression and it haunts me now. I can still see the slow anticipation, the raw hunger, the hidden desire as he eyes me from the bush. O, my brother- may God look down on you and forgive you, just as he forgives the lion for his terrible power. |
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