Welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

Hello; welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

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But the River Knows

They say it hasn't rained in years,

But the river, the river overflows.

A sea of drops, a sea of tears.

I'm drowning now, and yet the river knows.

On the river banks, how I cried.

Though the river rose from your molestation,

I'd feel guilty if you had died.

A loved one's loss seemed one more violation.

And so I tried to save you too,

In secrecy, threw you a rope of silence.

But you feared the truth that I knew,

And bound me, threw me in, watched my body tense.

They say it hasn't rained in years.

But the river, the river overflows.

A sea of drops, a sea of tears.

I'm drowning now, but the river knows.

You said you cared, you said you tried.

But you dammed the river with family ties.

I watched you, watched you float on by

On the raft you built from a forest of lies.

You took my wooden smile, my disguise.

You made an oar of it, pushed yourself along.

Is it really me that you despise?

Or do you just feat that what you did was wrong?

They say it hasn't rained in years,

But the river, the river overflows.

A sea of drops, a sea of tears.

I'm drowning now, but the river knows.

The Silence

The little ones, they speak

In insolvable riddles.

Scared, they tell secrets

In unbreakable code.

With silent screams,they shout,

"Please come rescue me!"

And with paralyzed lips they mouth,

"I am dying inside..."

>From fear and betrayal,

The silence comes.

And when the silence ends,

The betrayal begins again.

And with silent screams, they shout,

"Please come rescue me!"

And with paralyzed lips, they mouth,

"I am dying inside..."

The Molestial Bed

I will never forget the metal bars--

Brass, I think they were,

Though they had been painted over.

Like a prison cell,

They jailed me for my punishment.

There were lots of dents in the metal,

Perhaps made by tiny hands

Crushing it to forget the pain.

I would stare into the chipping paint,

Thrust my mind into the old colors peaking through.

Into the brown void I would step,

Hovering above myself as I watched

A helpless body, beneath a monster, weep.

And red, I would see, as my soul bled--

A stain that would never wash away.

And the metal seemed always as cold as my heart,

But it was a relief to the hot sweat dripping upon me

That seemed to burn my flesh.

One day, I would like to find that bed,

To beat it with a tick and melt the metal down

Into a plaque that says,

"But I survived!"

When I Was Four

When I was four....

I would dream every night....

That I was killed.

And the monster would come and say,

"I love you" and grab me and hurt me.

And I would look down and see

The blood trickling down my legs.

When I was four...

I would awake every night...

And I was killed inside.

And the monster would come and say,

"I love you" and grab me and hurt me.

And I would look down and see

The blood trickling down my legs.

The Willow Tree

I walk not along a path,

I am a path, under sun.

Footsteps make me what I am

And I regret never a one.

Just as the foot molds the dust

Pain and tears have molded me.

A joyful, simple, barren path

Now holds a weeping willow tree.

My Name Is Abuse

When people ask, "How do you cope?"

I say, "There is no coping."

They respond, "Have you no hope?"

"Why waste my life just hoping?"

For I have not been raped or beat,

But I am rape and beating.

To be a victim is defeat

For precious time is fleeting.

Photo Album

I look there, at that fragile face,

Smiling eyes and gentle grace,

And wonder, "Who in God's disgrace

Could hurt this little child?"

Precious, shy, mild, and sweet,

With tiny hands and tiny feet,

I wonder, "Who, in God's defeat

Could hurt this little child?"

Family Tree

In this pain I do surrender,

As this cancer grows inside of me.

Give my body as a ransom

To my foes for all eternity.

So they may wash their soiled hands

In my blood and ease their guilt--

That with my body die my lips;

Sinful secrets on naivete built

Shall never be revealed.

But this cancer is a legacy

To be passed on to one and all.

For every child in perfection born

>From righteousness will fall.

And as you live your lives, my foes,

Knowing well you've silenced me,

I will wait in agony

Knowing secrets of our family tree

Shall never be revealed.

I Dream

I dream --

At night, in the day,

As I sleep, when I wake,

I dream of happy things,

Sad things that make me shake.

I dream--

Of wildflowers and

Prairie grass, silt and sand

On empty beaches, and

Death's unforgiving Hand.

I dream--

Of memories, of

My innocent laughter,

And of a childhood lost,

But the morning after,

I weep.