Welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

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SURVIVORS STORIES

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Hi! My name is Kristy and I am a 22 year old survivor of child sexual abuse. I have been in counselling on and off for eight years but have been steadily going for about four months. My abuser was my step-dad who adopted me when I was nine. He met my mom when I was seven. He moved in almost immediately. A couple of months later he made me masturbate him. A couple of months later he beat my mom because she went on a date with another guy. I witnessed some of it. He said he only did it because he was drunk. (He was an alcoholic.) She broke-up with him but took him back shortly after. They married when I was nine. For those two years whenever my mom was not home he would masturbate in front of me or casually walk around the house without clothes on. I have a couple of memories of him coming into my room naked when I was little and laying on top of me trying to wake me up but the memories stop at that point. When I was nine I was watching a show on child abuse and I told my mom some of that "stuff" happened to me. She confronted him and he said that he was sorry and that he would stop. He pulled me aside later and said how he loved me and he did not think any of that stuff bothered me. He also told me that if he ever came out of his room without clothes on to tell him to go get dressed. Nothing ever stopped. When I was a little older (12or 13) he tried to get me to watch a porno with him. A couple of times when I was sun tanning he would suggest I take my bathing suit off to get an all over tan. When I was ten my mom had a baby, a girl. When I was thirteen I was very suicidal and I hated the world. I especially hated him. One night when I was babysitting my aunt called me (my mom's sister) and kept asking me over and over why did I hate him so much. I finally told her everything. She screamed,"I knew it!" I said how? She said he attacked her eight years earlier and my grandma three years earlier. I asked why didn't they tell my mom and she said that they did. My entire life changed at that moment. The next day my aunt confronted my mom and my mom went home to tell him about it. When she left my aunt called the police to meet her because he got violent often. The police found out what was happening and they reported it. Child Protective Services followed up to ensure he was out of the house, which he was. My mom divorced him a couple of months later. The next thing that has bothered me is the police did not press charges. My case went to juvenile court to the police. The police never transferred it to the District Attorney's office so he never got any punishment. A couple of weeks ago a juvenile D.A. told me that since the "child" was protected, that was all they cared about it. It makes me so mad and so sick that he got off with no punishment. I still don't understand it. I hate our laws and our judicial system. My relationship with my mother is shot to hell. She has been going to counselling for about three months now. I haven't seen her in two months and don't really want to. I feel guilty about hating her but I can't help it. I worry about my little sister who is eleven all the time. Some days it is really hard to focus on anything except the abuse stuff. . If it wasn't for the strong support of my loving, caring, and special boyfriend, I could never face counseling or life. I couldn't go through this alone and I am thankful for him everyday. I love him with all my heart I like getting in touch with other who have experienced this kind of stuff. Thank you Kristy