Welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

Hello; welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

SURVIVORS STORIES

If you would like to add your story to this page please email it to us . webman@addr.com

The reason that I start my story in this manner is because not only was I abused as a child but realized as an adult that I had a problem with child abuse. I didn't want my children to grow-up in the same manner as I did so I realized it was my responsibility to take whatever steps were necessary to break the chains of " child abuse." I will hit the highlights here. If you would like to read more about my story I do have a web site telling the whole story and telling you more about my children, and the way our lives have changed and the two precious little girls God has entrusted to this families care. The first time that I realized that there was something wrong with the way I was growing up was when I received many beatings. Often times not understanding why. However, my mother who was the abuser would then take me shopping and buy me gifts!!!! Between the ages of 6 or 7 one such incident happened. I looked my mom straight in the eye and told her, " You can't buy my love or my forgiveness." Often times after that I wished that I had kept my mouth shut!!! She would beat me because my little sister would claim that I had hit or bit her. Or as I got older if my chores weren't done. Sometimes I couldn't do them because I was locked out of the house. One of the last beatings I received at the hands of my mother was when I was twelve years old. She threw me around the livingroom and smashed my face up pretty bad. After that incident I ran away from home. My older brother lived in the next town with his wife (ex.) I went and lived with them. However, that situation didn't remain the same for long and I returned home. I wish that I could say that things had improved they had not. Didn't the next three years I lived between my dad's and my ex-sister-in-law's home. Finally, around the age of fifteen I ended up living with my dad until I married my ex-husband at the age of seventeen. We were married for eighteen years. Sometimes good ---others a person's worse nightmare. At the age of 35 I walked away from that abusive relationship. My oldest daughter wasn't very old before I realized that I had a problem that I needed help with. I was abusing my child. Did it stop with her? NO! I had four children. My second daughter became the only who I struck out at most. I knew this wasn't right and when I was growing-up I promised myself and God that if I ever knew that I had this problem I would do what it took to "break the chains of child abuse!!!" It took many tears, many trials, and a new way of life for all of this to change. During this time my children were placed in foster home's twice. The last time it went to court I was told that it must never happen again or they would attempt to prove that I was an unfit mother!!! At that time we belonged to church who had a wonderful pastor and several very supportive memebers. These people were part of my support line in getting well. The pastor talked to me and asked me if I would be interested in teaching a Sunday School Class. I told him yes, but with what I had been through why was he doing this? He told me that he had learned that usually the best way to help a person deal with a problem is to give them away to work with it. He felt that by entrusting other people's children into my care that I would learn to deal with my children. Yes, it did work. Praise be to God!!! I was also asked to teach Vacation Bible School, Sponsor a group of girls at chruch camp, and many other activities that dealt with children and the different age groups. Now I can not abide the tought of anyone striking a child!!! I was also undergoing counseling. The counselor asked me to be the Chairperson to our local Child Abuse group. The reason he gave for this was that I was open and honest about my problem. That hopefully I could help others with their problems with their children. In closing I would like to exprss that if you find you have a problem with child abuse seek help!!!! You or your children don't have to live that way. For me the scars run deep because of the pain that I inflicted upon my children. Now that my children have children I look for trouble areas--high stress points and try to take care of my granddaughters so that their mom' s can have a break!!!! REMEMBER REACH OUT TO SOMEONE ELSE --THROUGH THE NET OR BY PICKING UP THAT PHONE!!!! BEFORE YOU TOUCH THAT CHILD!!! ~Maxine