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SURVIVORS STORIES

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When I was a little girl, I was molested by my uncle. My mother or father never knew, I never told them. My uncle told me that if I told anyone, that next time it would hurt worse and I would be the one to get in trouble for it, not him. When he would molest me, he would tell me that we were playing a game. He would cover my head with a pillow, tell me to cover each side of the pillow with my hands, and then proceed to fondle my private areas. When I would tense up or begin to cry, he would tell me to stop. When I didn't, he would put his hand over the pillow that was on my face and push......not allowing me to breathe so that I couldn't make any noise. When he felt that I was gonna be quiet, he would remove his hand.......leaving the pillow in place. I guess he didn't want me to see him doing these things........but what's the difference? I knew it was him! Anyway. This particular night, I got tired of him doing these things to me, so .... how, I have no clue!, but I did, I got away from him, ran outside to my camp trailer and hid underneath the table bed.......covered up with blankets and pillows and stayed very quiet until my parents came back. I could hear my uncle outside the whole time hollering for me......panicking. But oh well! I didn't care. All I wanted was my mother. After 23 years, I finally told her. She started crying. "If only I had known, baby, I could have stopped it. You wouldn't be feeling like this now, if only I had known". Well, it's not her fault. My uncle never even gave any signs in front of her. He wasn't possessive, and as for me, I looked up to him, yes, even then. He was my favorite uncle. Not now. I told my mother that it was not her fault, and that with her help, my husband's help and God's help, I will get through this. One step at a time, I will get through this. It's not easy, and I don't hold any grudges against him.....just what he did to me. I have forgiven him, for you see, if I can't forgive him for what he did to me, God can't forgive me for my sins. God will punish him, if He hasn't already. I've written my uncle a letter, which has helped. Yes it hurt, but it's helping, too. Maybe with him reading this letter, he can realize what he put me through and repent. At this point, that's all I care about............my uncle getting the punishment from God that he deserves. Kim