Welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

Hello; welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

SURVIVORS STORIES

If you would like to add your story to this page please email it to us . webman@addr.com

When I was about two and one half years old, I was left at home while my mother and father went out to work. I am the youngest of five much older siblings, and one of them was supposed to be taking care of me. They did not do a very good job. One one occasion, my uncle came over to check on us while my parents were at work. At some point, I was toddling around, entertaining my uncle. He was sitting backwards on a kitchen chair, his legs straddling either side. My uncle would lift me up into the air, and set me down in front of him. I remember that he used to put his penis into my mouth, while he sat it that chair, for a game. I remember how it felt to be choked with his penis, his hand pressing against the back of my head, my forhead smashed into the fake leather of the kitchen chair. To this day, I cannot stand having anyone's arm around my head or neck. He ejaculated onto my face, and left it there. When I was seven years old, my family was moving into a new apartment. To get me out of the way, my 20 y.o. sister took me with her to go babysitting. I was having a good time, swinging on the swing in this family's backyard. A three year old boy named Stevie, who my sister was babysitting for, was with me. I was a pretty friendly kid, and people would walk down the street where we could see from the yard. And I would say hi to them. I was wearing cool- lots, a shorts/shirt combo connected by a zipper. A man in a business suit came into the yard, he had his erect penis in his hand and he asked me to touch it. I was mid-swing, and I jumped off and ran for it. He caught me as I had just reached the fence, it was raining a little bit. He threw me downinto the mud and started to punch me in the face. He tried to rip off my clothes. I was screaming my sister's name at the top of my lungs, and fighting for my life. He tore the zipper off of my outfit. He came down on my nose with his fist, again and again. I held onto my underpants and I could feel his erection pressed up agaist the inside of my leg, then I blacked out. I don't remember the actual rape. When I got up he was running away, he had a big ring of keys, like a janitor's or an engineer's. Stevie was sitting at the top of the slide on the swingset, crying, he hadn't moved. I got up, I was bleeding everywhere, my clothes were covered with blood, all the way doen to my saddle shoes. I got Stevie and went to the house to get my sister. I asked her why she didn't come, I thought she could hear me because the back door was open. She said that she did not come out to see who was screaming because she thought that the noise was an animal that had been hit by a car and she didn't want to see it. I dealt with the police and went home to a strange new apartment, filled with our boxes and furniture. My mother became upset and faint. And all of my family went to attend to her. My other sister made a bath for me, and put me in it. I sat there until the water went cold. No-one came to help me, no one picked me up and took care of me. I didn't recognize myself in the mirror I was sexually violated later by my father, and brother, and a neighbor, and a friend's babysitter, and my ex-husband. Sometimes I feel like my story is unbelievable. I have been in therapy for four years, and am just beginning to deal with all of this. I am very scared, angry, and tired most of the time. But I feel lucky too. I have had the courage to end my mother's cycle of abuse and neglect on me. I have a wonderful fiance who supports my recovery, and a wise and beautiful daughter. I have survived. My biggest frustration is my family. I am not one of them. I am not like them. They do not know me. But you who are reading this, you who have been through the horrors that I have face, know me. You are my family. If you would like to email me and share your fears, hopes, stories, dreams, etc., please feel free to do so. Thank you for reading my story, and thank you to SAAB for the venue to tell it. I wish everyone hope, and peace. KT WndyCtyKT@aol.com