Welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

Hello; welcome to Survivors Across America And beyond

SURVIVORS STORIES

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Hello. My name is Alanna, and being the artist that I am ... I would like to paint a picture in your mind.. Now, all paintings need a background. Visualize being thirty two years old, having lived all your life in Williams Lake, B.C., and then realizing that your spouse is being transferred to Hinton, Alberta. This means leaving all of your family and many, many friends behind, as well as a business that you have worked very hard to build. Shortly after this realization comes another. “Scenery” is added when your father announces he is leaving your mother (after thirty two years of marriage) to live with your little sister’s best friend of many years. She is five years younger than you and has a son and a daughter from previous relationships who are about four and six. Now, what painting doesn’t have a little “water” in it right? We’re going to add some in the form of tears ... many many of them. You see, your father, whom you still love dearly for some unknown reason, sexually molested you from the time you were about eight until you were about sixteen. Now, remember ... he is marrying into a relationship where his wife is a whole lot younger than his daughter, and to top it off she has a little girl. Twice you feel as if you’ve been struck with the realization that he seems to like his “women” young - very, very young!! The tears that flow seem endless and your choices seem few. Do you tell your deep dark secret and risk hurting all your family and friends? Or do you leave it and take the chance that another innocent little girl will grow up with the same hurts you have? How do you tell your mother, brothers, sister, sons, aunts, uncles, cousins and everyone else what this man is capable of? Well, this painting needs some mountains. They are sharp and jagged - much like the Rockies we see from here. Dad and his new wife announce that they are expecting. Oh my God!! What if it’s another girl? It turns out not to be though, and soon you find yourself very attached to your new brother who is a mere thirty-four years younger than you! He is sweet and adorable and you look forward to the day when you can bring him home to Hinton for extended visits and such. Buying him little leather jackets and boots and taking him for rides on your motorcycle which has become a much needed escape from reality. From here we need to add a few trees to hide behind. They are not very nice looking trees - ugly and black they come in the form of trouble in your seventeen year marriage. Stress starts to cause problems. You can’t cope with things and soon find that you are having trouble working - you can’t concentrate anymore. You forget doing the things you have done, good or bad, and you forget to do the things you should do , pleasant or otherwise. Needless to say, it is very frustrating for both you and your spouse. Now ... the wind here is strong and the trees are starting to bend and even break. Physical illnesses begin. Constant stomach problems, severe headaches, memory loss - literal blank spots that make you feel crazy. And, believe me, some days you are sure you are!! Suddenly, a final gust of wind knocks the trees down and it feels as though the sun can never shine again - you find out your father has another son from an affair when he was twenty-three. The real issue though is that the mother was only sixteen!! Now, remember those physical problems? Well, they are minor compared to what is to come! Realization sets in that you can no longer keep this dirty secret, and that it may also cost you some of your loved ones in the process. Remember that little half brother you have? Do you think Dad will let you see him ever again? Not likely!! Not everyone will be happy with this! And ... not everyone will believe you either!! It is not because they want for you to hurt .. but because they don’t want to believe someone they love could be capable of this type of crime in particular. One day, you start crying and the river seems over-flowing. You can’t stop and after two and one half days of it you feel the drowning process at work. You are too weak to fight back now after all of the mental anguish and you end up in hospital having a nervous breakdown. After ten days in there, with lots of medication, counseling from Burden Bearers and support from family and friends, you venture out again. Finally you start to understand that you cannot live with the chance that someone else (an innocent little girl) could be harmed, and you need to do something positive about it. You make the most difficult decision in your lifetime ... you finally tell this horribly embarrassing and humiliating story, in order to protect a sweet little girl in Dad’s home. Now, you have angered Father (to say the least), he threatens you physically, emotionally and, of course denies it to beat hell. That almost hurts worse than what he did initially! Before you know it you are having to file charges of sexual abuse against your own father in order to protect yourself, husband, and kids. This is THE toughest decision you have ever made in your life. You are informed that it will likely take up to two years of court battles before it is done. Life seems cruel and mean. Here is where you turn the painting upside down and look at it from a new perspective. During the last few months of this hell you have been living, you have been seeing a counsellor to help you deal with all of this. His name is Doug Birch and he gives his heart and soul to his job at Burden Bearers. He genuinely cares about his clients and you feel it. He starts to show you a new way to look at this painting. You turn it and look at it from different angles, and suddenly you see the sun shining in a blue sky across striking snow-capped mountains. And yes, the wind is blowing ... but it brings with it green leaves on the trees, birds nesting, the wildlife roaming at the lakeside and beautiful bright-coloured butterflies. YES! Life can be grand ... just let Burden Bearers have the paintbrush! Help them to help all of us. I am the ... Digital Princess @1997