sitting all alone
in this freezing room
waiting for the voice
that bestows my doom
shiv'ring not from cold
but from a quiet fear
crying for a savior
that never will get here
cowering in the night
at his booming yell
hoping for a doorway
from this deadly hell
wishing for the answer
to his endless screams
waiting for the questions
to break my simple dreams
trying just to please him
in every little chore
yet losing all the keys
just before the door
dying with the answer
for what i need to be
yet because i am so stupid
i never will be free
4/14/98 Searching for a Soulmate
thinking of your face
and those dark brown eyes
your almost simple grace
and your silent cries
swimming through a sea
just to hear your voice
wishing that i'd be
you're one and only choice
wand'ring through my own fate
in your precious mind
while searching for a soulmate
that I'll never find
4/14/98 As Michael Does
Once again losing reasons
reasons to hope
reasons to live
these tears fall
they fall for regret
they fall got pity
they fall for the loss
they fall as Michael does
Sinking back down
deep down inside myself
don't pull me back this time
I don't want to see the end
I don't want to watch
I'll just sink back down
pulling my knees to my chest
waiting for the end
and sit as Michael does
Alone and cold, but safe
away from your words
and the world
Away from it all
I'll sit and pretned
pretend i've still got hope
pretend it's still okay
and pretend i'm still alive
Just pretend as Michael does
I'll sit in my own little world
and let the days pass by
let the world pass by
let my life pass byt
I'll live through the end
and watch the humans go
they'll let me go
I'll let them go
just as Michael does....
4/15/98 Just Like Me
Live as i do
speak as i do
work as i do
laugh as i do
pray as i do
kill as i do
die as i do
for i am human
ruler of all
destroy as i do
hurt as i do
rule as i do
sleep as i do
hide as i do
run as i do
die as i do
for i am human
i'm better than you
scream as i do
cry as i do
torture as i do
suffer as i do
conquer as i do
be as i do
die as i do
for i am human
and you're just like me