It's true, "Whom the Son sets free is free indeed." The first time I heard this phrase was on my first job, as a teenager. My boss made the comment and it stuck in my mind. Freedom was something I never really knew. Growing up in a broken home, with an absent father, and a mother who had men in and out of her life, I felt trapped. I didn't use these words as a child, but that is how I felt. I turned inward and shy. Although I was like this, I still attracted people. They would befriend me, even though I had issues of not knowing who I was. I grew up without godly advice and guidance, and I was headed down the wrong path. It wasn't drugs, rebellion or being disrespectful to people. It was insecurity and shame. I had no self worth. I was trying to find my value and identity through other people. I hid it well, but because of it, I'm divorced today. During my marriage, I had no control over myself. I was verbally abused and that contributed to my lack of self esteem. Oh, I exceeded on my job, I reached out to help others, but I was still seeking approval from man. I was still in the same place. I had not found freedom. The discontentment within myself had grown stronger. Because of that same lack of self worth, I struggled in my single life too. I would find myself in vicious cycles of relationships with men. I was doing all this as a Christian.

Late one night, in the middle of my discontentment and hating myself, the presence of the Lord came upon me. I received hope, hope that God would bring me through this process. I pictured myself in the middle of a dungeon and a light appearing to me. My freedom had come! At last, I had an encounter with Jesus. It was an encounter I accepted. You see, in the past, I refused God's teachings. I mean I didn't say, "No, I'm not going to do what the bible says," but in my actions, I refused. When Jesus came into my life, like that beam of light into my heart, that is when I knew I was free. I was free from insecurity, fear and discontentment.

As a woman, I feel a lot of women suffer from lack of self worth. Some may go shopping, go to the clubs or have relationships with men that are unhealthy. That was me! When I felt afraid, I would turn to my boyfriend, instead of turning to God. Whatever you decide to turn to, I say stop and turn to Jeus. When you call on the name of the Lord, you shall be saved.(Romans 10:13) He is my Knight in shining Armor. He is my Prince, my Savior, my Deliverer, my Father, my Lord and my Freedom. When the devil comes, I read this letter to myself and think about His love and kindness towards me. It is indescribable. Now I understand the Scripture that says, "In everything give thanks..." (I Thessalonians 5:18) Thank you God, thank you Jesus and thank you Holy Spirit.

With Love,
Paula Stewart

~Paula is from Nashville, Tennessee. A single mom of 3, Samantha, Julia and Andrew. She is a very successful business woman in the Transportation Brokerage field. She enjoys being a part of her church, working with teens and the singles ministry. Paula also enjoys golfing and running.