written: October 3, 1998

neglected: October 4, 1998

finally posted (bad Ms. Rose!): October 5, 1998

There comes a time in everyone's life when they just have to stand up and say, "enough is enough, let's end this now." I reached that point this week. It took a nanosecond to decide it, but a day or to actually put it completely into action. They just made me so mad. It's not that they set it up so we wouldn't be doing anything together tonight, it's that they neglected to tell us about it. And then he gave me the thumbs up sign. I'll admit, that adds about a million times more resentment towards him than just the reservations alone. The others, I'm done dealing with them about it. One apologized, and I believe he truly meant it, and we're still friends. The others, well, they're not friends anymore, but I refuse to look at them as enemies. They're just.......there, sadly enough. I would say I'm totally over it, but since I can still feel that incredible urge to scream and injure lurking somewhere in the back of my throat, I don't think I can.

You wanna know what I did tonight? I went to school and saw girls parade around in their pretty, yet uncomfortable dresses, dance in their pretty, yet uncomfortable shoes, and deal with their pretty, yet incredibly annoying hair. Then I turned my head and saw the guys, with their flat shoes, pants and shirts, and short, unstylable hair. The only thing I could see that might be considered annoying was the tie, but I will never believe it's as bad as three-inch heels. Not for a second. Oh, and I also sat, danced, and socialized in silent resentment over this fact.

Hi, my name's Ms. Furious Rose, and I'm a Band Cheerleader. Hey! Go Bulldogs! Percussion! *clap clap* Brass! *clap clap* Woodwinds! *clap clap* Color Guard! *clap clap* Gooooo Band! Yeah! Erin, Val, and I went to the homecoming football game with our T-shirts and tennis skirts, expecting the cheerleaders to take offense, and the band members to ridicule us. Instead, the cheerleaders actually turned to cheer us on, the band members hooted and howled at the end of our cheers, we were invited to march with them in a parade tomorrow, the principal cheered us on, and a reporter (affectionately known as "the Landmark dude") asked us for our names, grades, and towns, which means we'll probably have a nice little blurb in his paper devoted to us. Pretty cool, no?

What would make a person hop down off the roof of a building? Even if the cops were after me, and even if it was only one story, I swear to you, I'd probably wait for someone to bring a ladder.

To leave you, some favorite song lyrics of the week:

Make My Way, by Blues Traveler
When you roll down your window,
And ask for directions
Can you count on the answers
That you would receive
If you've ever been taken
By the passed along pay-back
Why ask in the first place, you might not believe
But I won't be confined to road maps
Or let a**h**** decide
And I'd rather be lost
Then afraid to take a ride

And if its a sin
No place on earth will I ever fit in
And I don't mind
Someday I pray I just may
As I make my way

Or a mischievous bastard
But when I'm thinking about it
I do what I can
In the infinite halfway
Where everyone always meets me
By the laws of pure error
Do we exchange and understand
I'm yelling as loudly
As my lungs will allow
I wish I could whisper
Can you hear, hear me now?

And if it's a sin
No place on earth will I ever fit in
And I don't mind
Someday I pray I just may
As I make my way

Could be no one has a meaning
Of what anybody says
But so we don't feel so lonely
We decide that we do
Well now we might be speaking English
But what does that mean
And can you honestly tell me
What color is blue
Well you could try an explanation
Or try to wonder why
But if I'm lost in your driveway
All I really can do is try

And if it's a sin
No place on earth will I ever fit in