October 24, 1998

Well, well, well. What to talk about today? First choir concert of the year happened this week. We were........so-so, I guess. The first song was terrible- it was in 7/8 time and fast and in Latin, and we just didn't practice it well enough in our warm-ups......so, oops. The second one was great, though. It was Blue Skies, by Irving Berlin, complete with skat singing and everything. The feeder school (middle schools whose 8th graders come to my high school after they graduate) choirs were there, too, and when we all got up to sing our other four songs, we had about 260 people on stage. They were just the coolest bunch of kids, too. In my world of 5'6" and up schoolmates, their height was a great comfort to this 5'4" soprano.

I ask my tarot cards "What does the future hold for me?, and this is what they say:

I am the Six of Swords at the moment, which means I'm relaxed, because I've just undergone a change of direction which gave me a different perspective on life. I'm just getting over a difficult cycle, and although there are still remnants of storm clouds on the horizon, there should be smooth sailing from now on. (right on the money, as usual)

The present condition is the King of Pentacles (which is odd, because according to a previous reading, he's supposed to be my Mr. Right...hmmmm). This basically means that I now have a sense of purpose, and because of that I will be able to achieve some success in the material world (that's exactly what my monthly horoscope said, too). I should interact instinctively with everything I meet, and maintain my ties to the natural world to 'fortify myself in my dealings.' Uh, sure, that sounds about right.

The obstacle I'm facing is the King of Swords, which could mean two things. Either I'm daydreaming too much, and spend my life on such a high mental level that I'm perceived by others to be emotionally cold and overly stern, or a person in my life is like this, and he's getting in my way. Option A, I think.

The foundation of the situation (coolest phrase, don't you think? kind of like ' a Dalmatian plantation') is the Five of Wands which is competition. This means that I was challenged, and instead of bowing down, I refused to be the victim. I did not play dictator, though. I listened to the other points of view, and expressed my own in a clear and concise way. Then I made up my mind, and stuck to my decision. And that's exactly where my life is coming from at the moment. This is great

The past is represented by the Ace of Swords, or force. This says that a new phase of expansion and action started, with a constant movement of ideas and mental powers. Adversity and doubt were conquered. Some destruction might have been necessary to cut away dead wood, but it was all for the best. How true, how true.

'The way I would like to see the situation progress in the future' is represented by The Fool, the very first card in the Major Arcana, with a number of 0 (one of my favorites). It's a time in which I'd live from moment to moment, unware of impending doom, carrying with me only my instincts and memories from past lives (my collective unconscious). I shouldn't over-analyze things, and just take all I see (with a wide-eyed innocence, of course) with an open heart and an unending faith. Who wouldn't want to live this way?

The short-term outcome of this situation is the Four of Swords, seclusion. This is a time for healing and renewal. I draw inward to try to accept and understand myself. It's a strategic withdrawal, where I retreat in the midst of life's apparent chaos. Hey- it looks like I might even get guidance from my Higher Mind out of this. Yes!

My personality in the situation is the Ten of Swords, ruin (damn. I was hoping for a good reading.) Basically, the worst things that I feel could happen, are happening. Life seems to have spun out of control. Tears, grief, devastation, abandonment, the whole nine yards here. And yet, there is new strength, and birth after loss. Okay, I can see this being true, if you tune it down about a 100 times. No outward signs of it, coming and going for a week or so, a whole lotta strength gained......there, now we've got it right.

Others see me as the Eight of Hearts, or sacrifice (*giggle* not all the others, I'd bet). Too much time was spent concentrating on the concerns of others, and now I'm left unfulfilled and emotionally spent. I abandoned that which I once sought, to seek something that is more worthy of my effort and sacrifice. Opportunities to find a new direction abound, and I go on with new energy. To the few people in my life who I can see as being this perceptive, I say "sure!"

My hopes and fears card is the Six of Pentacles, generosity. Right now, let me just say this is a 'hope!' (one of the rules is, ya gotta decide which one it is). Let me tell you about this card, first of all. A confident and mature women, an Earth Goddess, if you will, stands in the center, willing to dispense the riches of the planet. The background is strewn with masks, because her generous nature has no need of disguise. I want to be an Earth Goddess! That's my real hope, but I think I'll settle for expressing my needs and getting help from others. It'd be a pleasant reward, don't you think? [By the by- if you want something so badly you can taste it, draw it on a piece of paper, put it under your pillow and recite the follo ng passage before you retire for the night: "Dear Earth Goddess, I look to you for help and as I sleep you will work to grant my innermost wish. I know that the more I give the more I will receive." This comes from Monte Farber's (a Tarot god, in my opinion) book The Enchanted Tarot)

Ok, this is the last card- the big one. This tells me once and for all what the future will be. Ready? It's the Judgment card, number 20 in the Major Arcana. A positive movement is made, an important change occurs. My spirit calls for it, and although I might be reluctant to grant it, I should. I do. There is advancement, achievement, and success. I show others that I am who I am and not what I do for a living. Finally!

Well, that was fun. If you have any questions you'd like my beautiful Tarot cards to vaguely answer for you, just throw me an email. (I'm not putting a link on this page though, thereby forcing you to use the one on my homepage. Ha!)

From Natalie Merchant's new album Ophelia and the song "Life is Sweet": "I don't cry, I know the tears will do no good, so dry your eyes. They told you life was hard, misery from the start, it's dark, it's slow, it's painful. but I told you life was sweet, in spite of the misery, there's so much more, be grateful. Well who do you believe? Who will you listen to, who will it be?"