Relationships

What's New: Are you in love with your ex?
Have you ever found yourself thinking about someone from your past, an old flame? We're not talking about wondering where that person is, what that person is doing, etc. We mean you are really, as in REALLY thinking about that person emotionally and sexually. Are you still in love with that person?

There can be many reasons why someone still thinks of, or thinks they are in love with their ex. ALT asked some of its members for their feedback on this complex issue. Below you will find the responses we got from members who felt they were, or still are, in love with their ex.

GLORIA I miss him so much!
My first husband was a wonderful man, but a terrible husband. He slept around left and right. I met a few men after him, but could never get my ex out of my mind. Day and night I thought about him, missed him, craved him. I did all I could to NOT think about him. I dated more men, then only one, took up hobbies, went out with friends, you name it.

Finally I called my ex. We got back together again, but in time he started cheating. When I finally left him I realized there was a part of me that would always love him, but there was no way I was going to stay and be treated like that. I miss him so much, but I now know I'm not in love with my ex. I was more lonely than in love.

ALLIE Why am I thinking of him?
As a newly happily married woman it scared me that I was thinking about my ex. I would find myself listening to a song and remember him. I tried to get him out of my mind, but couldn't. It was as if the harder I tried, the more I thought of him. Did I still love him? What would this do to my marriage?

I finally realize I wasn't in love with my ex. I was simply reminiscing. My ex was a nice person, a lousy boyfriend, but a nice person. We had some good times and plenty of laughs. I missed the person, but was definitely not in love with him.

CARMEN Was the affair worth it?
My ex became my ex because I cheated on him with his roommate. I felt tremendous guilt over the affair and tried to learn from my mistake. After a couple years I saw my ex in a restaurant. I couldn't get him out of my mind after that, and after several weeks contacted him. He was civil, but was not interested in meeting me.

As time went on, I still couldn't get him out of my mind. I missed what we had and often wonder what we couldn't have been had I not cheated on him. We had talked of dreams, marriage, children, growing old together, but all that disappeared. He wasn't the greatest lover which was why I ended up sleeping with his roommate. When I look back, I can safely say I am in love with the idea of what we would have had, but not with him anymore.

DORA I love my ex so much!
When my ex and I broke up I couldn't get him out of my head. I dated to keep my mind off him, but it didn't work. I hung out at place where I knew he would be in hopes that I would see him.

One day my ex called me up and said he couldn't stop thinking of me and wanted to see if we could work it out. We did try to work it out, and have been living together for 10 years now. Being apart helped us both realize how much we cared for one another.