To add a little more perspective, on my mother's side, we are Choctaw Indian. My Mom's dad (my maternal grandfather) was a medical doctor in "Indian Territory, in the bottom S.E. Corner of what became Oklahoma. He married an Indian woman (my grandmother), had lots of kids (lots of aunts and uncles), then died when my mom was 12, so I never knew him. Every summer, our family would visit my grandmother. My playmates there were full-blood Indians, as were 'all the relatives,' or so it seemed, from the culture I was immersed in. (No, I didn't know about two-spirits, or berdache at the time). What I do remember is my grandmother teaching me how to make lye soap (p-u!), broomweed tea, and all sorts of other concoctions. I lived with this grandmother my last 2 years of highschool, and attended the local tribal Indian fairs (great for the tourists). We are "card carrying" Indians, members of the Oklahoma Choctaw Indian Nation, complete with U.S. Government, Department of the Interior, Bureau of Indian Affairs C.D.I.B. ID cards and Tribal membership/voting cards. Mom still uses the Indian hospital in Lawton, Oklahoma. Back to the story...

I got married in 1968, had two children, joined the military in 1972, and divorced in 1975 (official in 1976, after the 6 month wait). At the time we got married, I loved my wife, I suppose as much as any 19 year old kid can love, assuming he even knows what love is. The marriage wasn't a "have to" affair, but it was contrived. When my highschool sweetheart learned I was leaving Oklahoma for Texas to go to school (a trade school), she plotted for us to get married, so she could go with me. I believe she "plotted" to get pregnant also, as when she did become pregnant shortly after our marriage, she was on birth control pills. Ditto our second child. Was I sexually attracted to her? No. Our first sexual experience (before we got married) was "contrived" by her, too (in the backseat of an old 1958 Cheverolet Coup, my graduation night). Yes, she was my first 'adult' sexual experience... she took my virginity, and all I could think of was, "what a ripoff!"

If you're an adult male reading this, try to remember all the mystery built up around sex when you were still a young virgin. Take a moment, and recall the fantastic stories you heard on the playgrounds, in the gym locker rooms, and while running around with all your buddies... Remember the stories of your friends who "got some" before you did, and how great they said it was? That's what I was expecting: a "mind blowing" fantastical, life-altering, ultimate, "I am a man" orgasmic experience. When I came I thought, "This is it? This is what all the excitement is about??? I had better orgasms jacking off. What a ripoff!"

Ok, that night I came to the conclusion that all the hype about how great sex was, was just that: hype. All the stories the guys told, they told because they were expected to. Those stories were to perpetuate the myth. Like dirty jokes, those stories of how fantastic sex was, were just grist for the mill, stories handed down countless generations, to make young boys eager, and old men fantasize, lest the great "woman chase" end, and the population dwindle.

Did I have a problem getting an erection? Heck no. I was a typical 19 year old; ... something as simple as an unexpected brush of my underwear could immediately cause arousal and instant erection. Sometimes a cool breeze, a thought, or no thought at all. When you're young and your hormones are raging, anything and everything gives you a boner. Was I aroused at the thought of having sex? Yes. Did a picture (or the sight) of a naked man or woman (even my wife) give arousal? No. I was safe in the locker room, and safe looking at dirty magazines with the guys. I never had those "embarassing moments" the other guys did. As for sexual release, masturbation gave more pleasure than sex with my wife, though. I would, and did masturbate two or three times a day when married. It usually didn't matter, unless my last time was just prior to sex with her... in which case arousal was slower, but (as is typical after a third or fourth orgasm) the process longer. She probably doesn't realize it, but she owes much of our 'extended' lovemaking sessions to the fact I DID masturbate first, which allowed me to prolong sex with her; but for me, that last orgasm with her was the least fulfilling.