Duck Droppings... page 6

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The word Cool as an adjective

Okay this is something I said a long time ago but decided to post it now... People who can only use the word "cool" when describing something (now keep in mind before I say this I use it a lot myself) are usually either
a) not wanting to say what they really want to
b) not paying attention and saying it to appease you, or
c)simply can't think of anything intelligent to say
So when you tell someone about something, or ask them your opinion, and they say "it's cool" DON'T accept that as an answer and DO ask them for clarification and you'll find out exactly what you wanted to know... and brownie points go to the person that catches me doing this!

Being single again

Well, I'm single again... which BITES...Not only does this mean that I have no one to love and being loved by, it means I have to put up with everyone else that has a significant other. I mean I have friends that have been dating the same people for over three years, I have other friends getting married, I have friends that ARE married... everyone I hang out with is always talking about some girl or some guy and it gets to the point where I cry at night cause everyone's got someone but me... makes me feel like something's wrong with me... I don't have a single irl friend that I can think of in this frenzied moment of clarity that doesn't have someone right now... and something else depressing, ALL... and I mean ALL of my irl ex girlfriends are engaged now... let me tell you that's EXTREMELY depressing... and something that's annoying me... everyone talks about how I shouldn't be looking, and I'M NOT LOOKING... what's supposed to happen, she comes and knocks on my door or something? Okay, some people tell me to not look cause it just happens, some other people are telling me I have to work my butt off...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

I believe that there's not just one person out there for you, but there are other people you can marry, just one that's intended for you though. But while finding that girl I've driven myself sane (yes that's S-A-N-E) because I've done things like:
- Go through countless women on the net
- Drive my friends nuts talking about it
- Done things such as writing the description of the person I want on a paper in a prayer to the Lord and sleep with it under my pillow
- Other various and completely idiotic things such as contemplate dating services (which an article by an aquaintance and something of a mentor to me has kept me from doing, if you ever see this, thank you Regina), hanging out at the mall (the only thing I got out of it was that I finally found that Obi-Wan lightsaber I'd been searching for... go me), and even spending my nights wondering if that cute girl that works at the bookstore is working and if she'd like to go out for coffee... (note to self, not a bad idea.)

The Real Life Dating Game

I have a very old fashioned, yet modern view on dating. Basically, I think that the man should pay for everything but the woman has a right to offer to pay for whatever she wants. With me I'll usually insist on paying but the kindness is noted and rewarded accordingly. But there's a few things I like to know... WHY oh WHY did men get the cruel task of asking the girl out?!? Who wrote that in the dating manual and what do I have to do for him to get him to change this?? Did he not realized how much of a nerve-wracking task this could be???? Back in the good ol days (when women were included with dowrys... that's a "gift" for marrying a man's daughter, for you uninformed people) marriages were somewhat prearranged, and the believed view of love was what a woman these days would call a best friend (see page 5 for my views on dating friends). Love isn't dead though, no not by all means... it's just sort of... well gone awry and mutated into a bastard son by a threesome between love, shallowness, and independent closemindedness. Now that may shock you but look at it like this... people have an idea about love and how it is today, yet they dream about how it was in the old days and say that romance is dead... then go on and complain about it and refuse to change... not realizing they're just furthering the degredation of the finest gifts God offered to man. But forgive me I went off on a tangent somewhere... dating now has just become something of a pasttime... like baseball or something. People in their late twenties/early thirties know what I'm talking about, it's turned into something that I affectionately named The Hunt. It's not about finding a suitable mate anymore, oh no it's gone and evolved into something just like love did. Now, it's gone into tracking (hangouts such as the club scene), pursuing (dancing and or flirting), taking aim and firing (cheesy pickup lines), and if one is successful you get to mount your prize... no explanations needed there. It's not about love anymore, it's about Trophies and the prize kills and all that. Quite barbaric. Hey how ironic... man, in attempting to rid himself from an old concept called MORALS has digressed into an even more primitive version of himself. Except back then when a man wanted a woman it's been said that he just whacked her upside the head with a club and dragged her off. I'm interested in seeing how history repeats itself there.

The Bookstore Girl

Okay now anyone who's got the pleasure and the privilage to talk to me and know about my search for the ever-elusive Holy Grail (also known as a girlfriend) has at one time or another heard about The Bookstore Girl. This Charlie Brown-esque crush has been going on for about two months now, and it involves me and this exceedingly cute girl that works at the local Books-a-Million. Now I know this is a departure from the girls I usually pick (redheads) but this girl is a sweet, innocent looking brunette with the same perky quality that makes Claire Danes so dern cute. I have no idea what this girl's name is, how old she is, or if she's single or not. When I see her I usually say hi and she kinda sheepishly says hi and lowers her head and looks at me in a way that just gets the blood flowing into my cheeks like a wild west stampede for the dinner table. Your standard schoolgirl crush. Fortunately for me I've worked out a brilliant plan to get this girl's attention (ask me about it, I won't post it here for the sake of sheer paranoia that some unholy player will come and try this... but if it works I'll post it here), but UNfortunately whenever I actually get the courage to go as soon as I think "I'm gonna go" I get a knock on the door and something happens... here's some of the more particuarly interesting instances:
-- About three weeks ago I was leaving to go catch her as she was about to get off of work, and no sooner than I hit the door I hear someone knocking... I open it and Lo and Behold it's my best friend Molly's younger sister... waving a Sarah McLachlan CD in my face that I've been trying furiously for months to obtain but I won't pay the ridiculous price for an import. Well anyway the five minutes she took of my time cost me twenty minutes because of ending date traffic leaving the movie theater near the bookstore. I got there 5 minutes before closing and fortunately (for the girl) she got off early... I watched her drive off as soon as I pulled in.
-- Last friday (July 18th) I was thinking about actually getting up from my writings and going to go ask her out, because I knew she worked Fridays. I managed to peel myself away from the monitor and as I was about to go into the bathroom for a much-needed shower and shave I hear a car door slam. Lucky me it's my incredibly talkative college aquaintance and he's brought his new girlfriend over. They came over at 5:45 and left around 10:30. I was sitting there, severely in need of bathing, and he was telling me about how he met her and how happy they are and it was watching those two be so utterly sickeningly sweet that inspired me to write the above subject about being single. I mean if THIS guy had a girlfriend and it was said that I'd get one before he would then I'M REALLY screwed... well anyway after they left I knew there was no possible way I could clean myself up in time...

For those of you wondering why I don't go ask her out another day... well every time I've gone she was never there... Someone must secretly have planted a bug in my head and they know when I'm gonna go and they've gotten people set up to stall me so I can't go ask this girl out. And in the event I do go they alert her I'm coming and give her the day off... just to be safe I even wait around for thirty minutes just in case she shows up... she never does but at least I got to read some interesting magazines. I never knew they sold High Times* there...

UPDATE! AUGUST 6, 1999

The plan worked... better than I'd imagined. I'm going to remember the way her face lit up for a long time. Her name is Meredith, by the way. And as for the plan, just check my journal.

Picking my own subjects

Okay some of you have noticed something. Yes I AM writing about what I want to for a change, it's given me something of a sense of independence. In the year since I came up with this novel idea, I had some great subjects come up (super market express lanes, still my fav... it's on Page 1) I stopped writing because I kept getting subjects I didn't want to write about (hommus...) and frankly some of them were just stupid, like someone pointed out to me in an earlier topic (see people named H who send in dumb [censored] subjects, page 5). Well since then I've realized "Hey, this is my page, I can write about what I want!" And ever since then, well I've had trouble going to sleep because I've done so much! But, the only way still remains, if you have something you want me to rant about, just send it to me and if it sparks a thought I'll write about it... just keep in mind that's IF I wanna *grins*. Vive la independence!!

Overplayed songs on the radio
-Sent in by Rabee
Rabee's page

This is another example of how teenyboppers are taking over America. Some number of years ago radio stations, in a fiendishly unknowing attempt to get listeners, started taking calls in for requests. A lovely idea, yet sadly like many things it has to get out of control and like a musical Jurassic Park has escalated to the point where the popular radio stations are controlled by women who sit glued to the radio and request the same 10 songs OVER and OVER again. Here's an example: Sarah McLachlan. When some DJ got the idea he (or she, I'm an equal opportunity pain in the neck *grins*) was going to play Angel on the radio, I almost stopped listening to Sarah altogether because it became the most overplayed song of all time... a slow, beautiful song, not some fun song with a beat, but a slow... soulful... song...

THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD OF!!!

She's a wonderful person, and a very talented songwriter, but that moment there almost did it in for me because part of the beauty of her is that no one listened to her and she did it for the music. Now they play Angel and I Will Remember you on the radio all the time and now I'm just like "ugh" whenever she comes on the radio... fun songs like She's So High and maybe that Ricky Martin song are okay to play often, but Angel... that shouldn't be played on the radio... it should be in a movie soundtrack, or be played in a passionate situation...
well it all boils down to TEENYBOPPERS... they're the ones that make the requests... who is it you always hear on the dedication hours? It's always the girl that's like "yeah, could you dedicate One More Time by Brittany Spears to Derek and tell him that I miss him and I love him and I'm sorry?" After that I knew why the guy dumped her...
Not all DJ's are bad though, in fact I recently heard about one in Florida who is sick of this too. My lovely (net) sister April (love ya girl *hug*) recently told me about a DJ that played Livin La Vida Loca twice in the same hour because it was requested, and he got chewed out.. so guess what he did?? That's right!! He played it over and over in different versions for about 4 hours!! He told listeners that he had been fired so he was going out with a bang! The most beautiful thing is, one guy called in and asked for Brittany Spears... and the DJ went off on him!! This is what April told me: "he was like 'who do you think we are you little [redacted]' it was hillarious!!" Right on sis! I'm thinking about starting a campaign called "Save the DJ's: Fight Teenyboppers"... if you're with me, lemme know!! (also see Teenyboppers, page 5)

Chain letters

I... HATE... CHAIN LETTERS!!! I think they are absolutely the most inane and evil things ever conceived since well, the New Kids on the Block but that's beside the point. Folks if you have my e-mail address and you'd like to stay on my good side, do NOT and I mean NEVER EVER send me a chain letter or I will lay my vengance upon thee and you HAVE been warned. I don't care if it's cute, serious, religious, will make me money, or will make a cute lil nekkid indian run across the screen... I don't care how great it is DO NOT send it to me... if you have to send it to me because you need just ONE more person to meet a requirement, well that just shows you how well you're liked doesn't it? Wow... isn't that neato? Haven't though of that before, have you? Now send this to 10 people in 30 seconds or your hamsters will get genital warts.

Procrastination

I'll tell you tomorrow...
Anyone remember that bit from Animaniacs? Man that was a great show...
Well anyway aside from jealous fits this is my other worst vice... sometimes I can be downright lazy. When someone tells me to do something I'll think about it, and think about it, and think about it, and think about it, and then either do it or forget it. Usually I forget about it. You can ask anyone I know, and they'll tell you that when I get in trouble I always come out of it smelling like a rose... but whenever I forget to do something, it always comes back and kicks me in the rear. My most recent case of this is the whole deal with Meredith, the bookstore girl. I waited... and waited... and waited... and I did go over there a few times but she was never there, and when I finally did catch her and ask her out, she said she'd love to but she had to go back to school in two days. *grumbles* I think I'm gonna buy a notepad or a planner or something.

People who type only in abbreviations

I'm sure that anyone who reads this knows someone who types only in abbreviations. You know, the people that type things like "how r u?" and such.

ISN'T THAT JUST FREAKING ANNOYING!???? ENGLISH PLEASE!!! YEESH!!!!

I can see abbreviating larger words, such as b/f (g/f) for boyfriend (girlfriend) ppl for people, and pics for pictures, but see... you... and are??? What I think is funny though, is when people that do this realize it becomes habit and typing papers for school becomes even more of a chore. Let this be a lesson...

Discourage stupidity. Enunciate.

So n e waz, I'll c u ppl l8er!!

* -- No I do not smoke marajuana, nor do I promote it in anyway, in fact I think smoking and drinking is a bad habit so :-� to the people that thought that. Shame on you. Shame Shame.