Contact with the X-Files

Stardate: May 16, 1998:Read my account of meeting Chris Carter. or go directly to Other accounts of Meeting The Creator. Or read the Cheesy Duran Related Ways to Sign an Autograph

June 6, 1998: I met Mark Snow, the composer. June 11, 1998: "Fight the Future": The Premiere

October 3, 1998: I met the Cigarette Smoking Man, William B. Davis November 6, 1998: Watched the show being filmed in downtown L.A.

December 1 and 2, 1998: Contact with the Ratboy - about meeting Nicholas Lea. March 7, 1999: Contact at the SAG Awards - Nick Lea et al.

March 31, 1999: Contact with Mulder - and a brief moment of contact it was! But just watch me milk the moment for all it's worth!

June 14-July 8, 1999: Kiss Having a Life Goodbye - About meeting Nick on the set of "Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye."

August 21, 1999: Contact with a Ferret and a Lone Gunman - about meeting Chris Owens and Dean Haglund at the San Diego Comic-Con '99

April 2, 2000: "Get Down Tonight": Contact with Frank Black April 11, 2000: I was an X-Files Xtra: Emile's "Fight Club" Adventure

December 3, 2000: Emile and Sarah Invade "The Vertical Limit" Premiere.

Emile's main X-Files page.

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Contact with The Creator

The following is a slightly edited (read typo-free) version
of a post I made on an X-Files mailing list.

I just got back from this bizarre performance-art-sort-of-collaboration which Harlan Ellison and Chris Carter did at a store in Sherman Oaks (a suburb of LA) called Dangerous Visions, where I met The Creator.

Apparently, Harlan Ellison occasionally will write a short story in public - he's given an idea and he sits at his typewriter and goes to it. And he takes breaks to sign books for people. I sheepishly admit I've never read any of Harlan Ellison's works. But I think the idea, odd as it is, is great and incredibly sweet of Harlan, and I read that he's done this countless times before.

I was told on the phone by the store that Chris was there "for support" and he wasn't even slated to sign anything. I was persuaded by a non X-Phile friend to go if for nothing else but what I call the "huh?" factor. ;-> I'm so glad I went. It turned out that Chris was there to hand Harlan the idea for the short story and then stuck around. I got there too late to witness the presentation at 1pm, but I was told it was about a "102 year-old pregnant whore." ** LOL! And I think the story is called "Objects May Be Closer Than They Appear." ** (See correction of my pitiful version below.)

By the time I arrived at 2pm, Harlan was there, typing away, and there were only about 7 people ahead of me to meet Chris. I couldn't believe the line was so short - apparently the store was packed an hour earlier. The guy in front of me just wanted to get a picture of Chris, and while Chris was posing, he leaned over because my t-shirt caught his eye. I opened my jacket so he could see the shirt and he started laughing! An employee saw me and said it was a great t-shirt too.

I had worn my "I'd rather be cuffing Krycek" t-shirt today.

Then it became my turn to meet Chris. Chris shook my hand (what a soft handshake he has!) I was so nervous - I told him so, and he smiled - he must think that kind of thing is both odd and sweet. He said, "That's a cute t-shirt," and I thanked him. Too bad I didn't know when I ordered the shirt I'd meet him - I would have given him one.

So, I told Chris he has the most incredible show and I just love it (I didn't know what else to say, you know how that goes) and he thanked me and kept smiling. I asked Chris to sign the first official episode guide. I had a pen for him, but he had his own gold one to sign. My hands were shaking so badly I almost couldn't get the top back on my pen! Yikes. "I am nervous," I blurted, shaking my head. Chris signed my book "Trust No One. Chris Carter." Then I said to Chris, "I have something to give you. It's from my website - my own silly homage to the X-Files."

I gave him the printout of The List of Signs Chris Carter is a Closet Duran Duran Fan.

Okay, I know some of you reading this are cringing, but I'd figured Chris has a warped enough sense of humor to appreciate it. My X-Phile friend, Amy, has been pushing me to give it to him, so I figured it can't hurt. And if I do say so myself, it's an impressive list of connections! ;->

"I thought you might get a kick out of this," I said. And he did - he laughed. I could tell from the look on his face that he's probably largely unfamiliar with Duran, but amused nonetheless. Either that or he's chagrined someone figured out his secret. ;->

"And your name is Emile?" he said. He started thumbing through it, then he thanked me. I said, "Thank you." And that was it. Chris is so sweet and down-to-earth. And more handsome in person, I might add.

So, that was it - just had to share with you that at least in a subtle way, The Creator knows The Durannie Philes Are Out There.

Emile

P.S. As I was leaving, I saw someone driving with a bumper sticker that read, "Mulder/Scully '96: Trust No One Else." Does anyone know where I can get one of these? Email me, please!

**Turns out that the story idea was for a 102 year-old pregnant corpse and the title of the story is "Objects of Effection May Be Closer Than They Appear." I think I like my version better. ;-> Thanks to Kahunna for the correction.**

Of course, it doesn't stop there. Noooo - this is my website you're reading, my friend. After I met The Creator, I posted my good news and emailed and called everyone I could who may or may not have given a damn.

Last, I called Jade, otherwise knows as Freak No. 2, who was impressed that I'd delivered the list to The Creator. "But he signed your book 'Trust No One'? I'm sorry, but that's so cheeeeesssy!" I had to agree - somewhat. Now, before the flames rain down on me, I am completely ecstatic with my experience meeting Chris Carter. Not only was he gracious and polite to this complete kook, but I am happy that he even bothered to personalize the autograph, much less write "Trust No One." Anyway, my admiration for Chris has increased a hundred-fold.

But, let's face it. It is kinda cheesy and amusing. I told Jade, though, that it could have been worse. I could have given Chris the Duran Duran list before he signed the book and he could have been inspired to write "To Emile: Duranies Rock On. Chris Carter," which not only would have been cheesy, but it would have been a reference to an actual message etched on the innermost rim of a Duran Duran 7".

Well, my friends aren't the kind to let a golden opportunity for wac humor get away from them. That is why we've come up with the:

This might end up being one of those things where you "had to be there" for it to be funny - but the distinct image of Chris signing a book with a straight face like this is too rich to pass up!

Disclaimer: After reading this list you may be convinced that Duran Duran write the most nauseating lyrics ever. Please remember these are taken out of context for fun! And they really do make great music. Except for "Medazzaland" - we'll just pretend that didn't happen.

If you get confused, don't worry - I've added explanations at the bottom.

1) To Emile: Here's our last chance on the stairway! Chris Carter

2) To Emile: See ya later at the La-la-la-Late Bar! Chris Carter

3) To Emile, my grey lady of the sea §, Chris Carter

4) Emile: Glad they held back that rain, huh? Chris Carter

5) Emile - It doesn't have to be serious. Chris

6) Emile - There's a really obvious Planet Earth reference here, but even I'm not that cheesy. Chris Carter

7) Emile - ITSISK? Chris Carter

8) To Emile, I love the smell of vinyl in the morning! Chris Carter

9) Emile - You take the dice! Chris Carter.

10) Emile - I feel so sad. I want my dad. :-( Chris Carter

11) To Emile, who left a lasting First Impression! Chris Carter.

12) Emile - rhythm has the power to move me - how about you? Chris Carter

13) Emile - Yo bad azzizi as a nuclear war. Chris Carter

14) To Emile, Welcome to the edge. Chris Carter

15) Emile, I'm reaching out, calling out. Do you read me? Chris Carter

16) Emile: I'll be your icon! Luv, Chris Carter

17) Emile - my obsessive fascination is in your imagination. Chris Carter

18) To Emile, who's still in my heart. §, Chris

19) To Emile, my Lady Ice. Wuv, CC
[I'm hurling as I write that one.]

20) Emile: Say the Word! Whoosh! Chris Carter

21) To Emile, who's faster than light! Chris Carter

22) Emile - I love you so much I even keep your cigarette butts. XOXOXO, CC
[But I don't smoke, says I.]

23) Emile, hold me. Nanananananana. Chris Carter

24) Emile, don't monkey with my business. Chris Carter

25) Emile - Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Chris Carter

26) Emile - switch it on! Chris Carter

27) Emile, who's got me coming up with answers all of which I deny.
DENY EVERTHING! Chris Carter

28) Emile - smile, when the butterfly escapes the killing jar. SHHHH!!!! Chris Carter

29) To Emile, an old friend ever expected. Next time knock, willya? Chris

30) To Emile: DUCK!!! Chris Carter

31) Emile - Bring in da noise, bring in da funk, 'cause I like wakin' up da house!!! Chris Carter

32) Hey, Emile - meet me in 7609! Chris Carter

33) To Emile, my girl on film. §, Chris

34) To Emile: There's a fine line drawing my senses together and I think it's about to break. Chrissy.

My vote for scariest way to sign a book (and we can still see Chris writing it!): Emile: Jabbing fist and stabbing knife. Only get one look before you DIE! Affectionately, Chris Carter And most pretentious way to sign an autograph: Emile: What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind? Chris Carter My personal favorite on the non-suggestive bunch: Dear Emile, You've gone too far this time. Chris Carter

The following ones are, um, a bit R-rated. It's not too late to turn back:

1) Emile - I like it hot, so bang my gong. Chris

2) Dear Emile, Wanna see my big thing? Chris Carter

3) To Emile, who gives me Hothead. Luv, CC

4) Emile - I'll be at your liberty. Love, Chrissy-poo

5) Emile - some people call it a one night stand, but we can call it paradise. *sigh* CC

6) Emile - let's see all you toys. Chris Carter

6) To Emile, who's gonna get her maximum big surprise. §, Chris

7) Emile, say yes, please, thank you. CC

8) Emile, I need two hands for mine. XOXOXO, CC

9) Emile - turn it up to get sleazy. CC

10) Emile - Get it up, get it out, get it in time. Hang it up. Hang it out. Hang it on a big thing. CC

11) To Emile, who ultimately, I think is toying with me. We'll wait and see. Luv, Chris

12) Emile - don't play rough. Easy when you know your stuff. CC

And my personal favorite of the racier bunch:

Dear Emile. Try not to bruise it. Chris Carter

1) "Last Chance on the Stairway" - on first album, "Duran Duran"

2) "Careless Memories" B-side "Late Bar" on the first album

3) Simon Le Bon solo single, "Grey Lady of the Sea"

4) "Hold Back the Rain," on "Rio"

5) "Serious," on "Liberty"

6) "Planet Earth," on "Duran Duran"

7) "Is There Something I Should Know" on first album "Duran Duran" (re-release)

8) Cheesy non-sequitur added to album art for "Skin Trade" single (on "Notorious" album)

9) "I Take the Dice" on "Seven and the Ragged Tiger"

10) Possibly the worst John Taylor solo lyrics from "Feelings Are Good" ("Feelings Are Good and Other Lies" album)

11) Lyrics from "First Impression" on "Liberty"

12) Reference to lyrics from "I Don't Want Your Love" on "Big Thing"

13)Yo Bad Azzizi - B-side for "Violence of Summer" single ("Liberty"). Comes from the lyric in "Is There Something I Should Know" - "'Cause you're about as easy as a nuclear war." Don't ask me what that's supposed to mean.

14) "Edge of America" on "Big Thing"

15) Lyrics from "Shelter" on "Duran Duran" (1993 album)

16) "Be My Icon" on "Medazzaland"

17) Lyrics from "I Don't Want Your Love" on "Big Thing"

18) "Still in My Heart" on Duran splinter-group Power Station's "33 1/3"

19) "Lady Ice" on Duran splinter group Arcadia's "So the Red the Rose"

20) Arcadia's "Say the Word" on the "Playing for Keeps" soundtrack. And singer Simon Le Bon ended the 1995 Duran concerts with "Whoosh!"

21) "Girls on Film" B-side "Faster than Light" on the first album.

22) Lyrics from "Be My Icon" on "Medazzaland"

23) "Hold Me" on"Notorious" The na-nas really are a part of the song.

24) Possibly the dumbest Duran Duran lyrics ever - from the title track on "Notorious"

25) Lyrics from "Planet Earth" (first album) and "Hungry Like the Wolf" ("Rio")

26) 1984 concert ad lib to "Planet Earth" courtesy of Simon Le Bon. Hard-core Durannies still add it everytime they hear the song.

27) Lyrics from "New Moon On Monday" on "Seven and the Ragged Tiger"

28) Lyrics from "Union of the Snake" B-side "Secret Oktober" ("Seven and the Ragged Tiger")

29) Another allusion to lyrics from B-side "Secret Oktober"

30) This one only an Internet Durannie would catch. Simon Le Bon took part in an on-line chat in which he was asked if he still owns a boat. He said no, but he has a duck he plays with in the tub. This has become a running R-rated joke among Durannies. Duck! is also the name of the Durannie humor zine.

31) Reference to Broadway musical "Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk" and lyrics from "I Don't Want Your Love" on "Big Thing."

32) "There's an all night party in Room 7609" - lyrics from "Late Bar," the "Careless Memories" B-side ("Rio"). Not that anyone's found a hotel with 76 floors, mind you.

33) "Girls on Film" on first album.

34) "Union of the Snake" on "Seven and the Ragged Tiger."

• "Jabbing fist and stabbing knife. Only get one look before you die" - lyrics on "New Religion" on "Rio"
• " What glass splinters lie so deep in your mind?" from "The Chauffeur" on "Rio"
• "You've gone too far this time" from "The Reflex" on "Seven and the Ragged Tiger"
  

1) "Some Like it Hot" and "Bang a Gong" by Duran splinter group Power Station on"33 1/3"

2) Lyrics from the title track on "Big Thing"

3) "Hothead" on "Liberty"

4) Title track on "Liberty"

5) Possibly the most oft-quoted Duran lyrics - from "Save a Prayer" on "Rio"

6) Lyrics from "All She Wants Is" on "Big Thing"

6) Reference to lyrics from "Election Day" on Arcadia's "So Red the Rose"

7) Lyrics from "Skin Trade" on "Notorious"

8) Reference to famous 1984 interview with Duran which was really supposed to be about their "instruments"

9) Lyrics from "Vertigo" on "Notorious"

10) Actual lyrics from title track on "Big Thing"

11) Reference to lyrics from "UMF" on "Duran Duran" (1993)

12) Another reference to "UMF"

• "Try not to bruise it" - lyrics from "The Reflex" on "Seven and the Ragged Tiger"

It's been a busy year for me as an X-Phile. I saw Steven Williams, the actor behind Mr. X, in the flesh on stage at the Los Angeles Expo. I met Vince Gilligan, arguably the best writer The X-Files has on staff right now. I met Chris Carter on May 16. And now Mark Snow, whom I met at Creature Features in Burbank. Mark Snow is one of my favorite composers, second perhaps only to Danny Elfman. And now if I can only meet Nicholas Lea, I can die a happy Phile. Now that the show has moved to LA, I'm keeping my fingers crossed! My friend Eileen is teasing me, saying that at this point I'd probably get an autograph from a production assistant on the X-Files, given half the chance. Guess I won't tell her I'm meeting "Sparky" at Borders next week. ;->

I was so bummed that Mark Snow (as well as Nick Lea!) went to the San Francisco Expo, but not the LA one. But we got the writers panel in LA, so I think it evened out in the end.

Mark Snow signed autographs with Chris Carter at the Virgin Megastore just a few days earlier but there was no way in hell I was going to stand in line for that cattle call, especially when I'd already touched the hand of The Creator and knew that the Creature Features signing was coming up. Besides, God knows if Chris was just waiting to get my head on a platter after reading my Duran Duran list. ;->

The signing was a simple occasion, very few people were there when I showed, and for me it was over in less than 10 minutes; unfortunately people don't generally appreciate the behind-the-scenes people - on any show. :-( I got to the store a half-hour before the signing, bought my CD, and hung out with the other Philes. Mark arrived and milled around with the store owners, and, at 1pm, sat down at a table. The store-owner turned to the people in line and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen - Mark Snow." We applauded, and Mark stood up and stretched out his arms in a gracious gesture, thanking us for our support. I got that nervous feeling in my stomach again - what is it with me??!! When it was my turn, I laid down the CD in front of Mark:

"Hi. I'm so glad to meet you," I began.

"Thank you."

Mark Snow at Creature Features, having just signed my CD.

"I was a fan of yours even before I even started watching the show." He smiled, but raised an eyebrow. I continued. "I was afraid to watch the show at first because I have a tendency to get nightmares easily," Not that Mark needed this much information, but anyway... "So I would just watch the opening credits and then switch off the TV." Mark smiled even more now and I thanked him for his music.

I'll give you 3 good guesses as to how Mark Snow signed my CD. Give up? He wrote, "Twist it in a vice, baby!" I was shocked. Who would have thunk that Mark Snow was just as big a Durannie as Chris Carter? Now Mark told me, confidentially of course, that "Tiger Tiger" influenced his early career tremendously, and were it not for Duran Duran, he might never have found the courage to compose (hey, Mark Snow might have said that off the record, but I'm proclaiming it to the world!) We could have kept gabbing about our fave band, but just when we were about to start comparing concert pictures, some rude Phile interrupted with an *ahem*....

Okay, now in the real world, Mark Snow signed my CD "'The Truth Is Out There!' Mark Snow." Exclamation point and everything. I'm beginning to think that everyone associated with the X-Files is contractually obligated to sign their autographs with that particular tag-line. Wonder what would happen if I asked Nick Lea to sign "Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate" or "Aliens Ate Your Corn Nuts? Those Greedy Bastards!"? Think he'd spontaneously combust on cue? ;->

So I asked Mark if I could take a picture of him for the website. He said of course. "How's my hair?" he asked primping. *Click* So ended another positive experience with a member of the X-Files team.