...the hopes and despair

something cold as steel...

It is remarkable how deceptive the appearances can be... how distant the public face can be from the intense experiences of the private self...

Perhaps this is true for all of us. For Geeta, this distance - between her life and the humdrum of living - was even greater... it was also a sign of the duality which she was forced to live,
which tore her between two extremes,
and which often made her experience of herself artificial...

I had made these observations in my diary, when we had met the first time, in Nov-Dec '74. Their contrast to what Geeta was writing in her diaries around the same time, was also the contradictions Geeta lived with...




...and then there is Geeta Saxena - something of a cold steel in her. She has brains, and capacity to labour, and besindes all, she speaks in the class - it counts... she is frightfully practical, cold, matter of fact, and immune to any kind of flirtation - I did not flirt with her, but the way she took a casual compliment on her handwriting is uncommon in girls. She did not blush, but conveyed the notion that such compliments are immaterial from her point of view, though she won’t be unsocial in in not receiving them...

About Geeta Saxena,,, That day talking about her notations she said, “Geeta Saxena is full of short cuts.” Notice the objectivity in this comment - a subjective comment. I wondered about the strong element of self-awareness in her...

{the bundle of raw nerves} (a world she felt responsible for} {her prison}
{the inexplicable fears} {her self-doubts} {her resentments}
{the inner life} {the flapping of wings} {her intense independence}
{depth of insights and feelings} {her romantic self} {the seeds to unfold} {the hurts and pain}

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Geeta's Poems

Stories She Wrote

Other Stray Writings

Poems for Manasi

About Geeta

• refelction, churnings and insights
• the point of it all
• remembering Geeta

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