Dave's Blog

Saturday, November 18, 2006 5:28:53 AM

Last weekend Margaret and I went to a couples workshop called 
"Sex, Passion and Enlightenment," presented by Satyen Raja.  He 
told us about male and female energies, and gave us an 
interpretation of developing our strengths with our primary 
energies in mind.  It sounded a little backward to me, but that 
shouldn't have been too surprising in a philosophy that was 
thousands of years old.  After the orientation, we were given 
exercises that emphasized the primary energy of our gender.  
During the male exercises I had a conversation with several other 
men regarding our life's purpose.  

One of the men in my group said he didn't know his life's 
purpose, and that he was OK with that for the moment.  Another 
one said he was able to read energy and enjoyed public speaking.  
I went with what I was already doing, where I was already 
successful, and where I was already making money.  I figured the 
Universe has guided me through income maximization.  I described 
my work in changing the world through the creation of 
communications web sites, and I described how my efforts were 
leveraged through working in groups.  I noted that my ability to 
coordinate and communicate in the groups enhanced my ability to 
create effective web sites.  Several people in my group picked up 
on this aspect, and said I could go further if I concentrated 
more on the group coordination and less on the technology.  

Through contrast between my astonishment that some of the other 
men couldn't express a purpose, and their reminding me that I was 
a leader, I realized that I had been frustrated.  I had reached 
the pinnacle of my effectiveness as an "individual contributor," 
and management was really the path upward from here.  I was, in 
biological terms, an alpha bull.  When Margaret saw me after this 
realization she saw leadership and poise, energies that she found 
attractive to her feminine side.  

I remembered that last year in Warrior Camp, when we were 
separated by chance into different groups, I had taken charge of 
my group.  I decided that I would nurture my inner alpha bull, 
that I would take steps to move upward from here.  

I upgraded my appearance by leaving the polo shirts, jeans, and 
walking shoes behind.  I started wearing slacks, pressed white 
shirts, jackets, and black leather shoes.  I started carrying a 
briefcase again.  I formed a walking group, and encouraged people 
to join and to enjoy the benefits of a daily walk at lunch.  

Now I have new responsibilities as a buildmaster.  I am looking 
at the inside story of how my team's project has evolved over the 
years, and I am getting a clear picture of how the site is 
organized.  All the developers notify me when they have made 
improvements to the software.  I am learning new skills.  On top 
of that, Thursday's walk was attended by five women and me.  My 
inner alpha bull is being nurtured.  

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