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01.10.06     NEW YEAR, OLD RESOLUTIONS losing weight! a new career! reading more! blog updates! (this is a blog, isn't it? the site has been in existence longer than the term, and it feels odd to fit a new term onto an old thing.) it bothers me that i have no record of the time between then and now. not in my journal, not here, not anywhere. my memory isn't reliable, and i tend to mix up fiction with reality. here is what i know to be real: i spent an unhappy year working as an admin assistant, i started going to school for publishing at ryerson, i quit the job to do a 3-month internship with mcclelland & stewart. i'm poor in the pocket but rich in love; kevin and i are still together in our little corner of toronto. i'm looking for work to support my new-found love for cheese. my little business is doing well, considering i haven't done anything to grow it. i'm happy and restless and only just starting to sprout. 03.16.05     OILY SPOOKY FINGER! i'm in training. preface: i bet that i could drink more tequila than my sister's boyfriend, jeff. he scoffed, and now we're on for Tequila Drinking Competition. kevin is my personal trainer. last night, after half a bottle of wine, i did 5 shots of tequila in 30 minutes. i didn't feel so good when i stood up or moved around, so kevin put me to bed. best part: i'm not hungover! 'oily spooky finger' is a game i invented in my inebriated state. it involves dressing up your finger as a spooky ghost using a lubed-up latex costume. then, with everybody blindfolded and naked and holding still, you jab them! 03.02.05     NEW NEST kevin and i have moved in. we're a little tired, a little awe-struck, a lot excited. it's full of auspicious signs if you're looking for them in the smallest of details: kevin's favourite soup is not only abundantly available at our local grocery (apparently it's hard to find), it's on sale; our ikea dining table we were hesitating on because of price is found half price in the "as is" section only because of damaged packaging. the best part is building and arranging our little nest just so. a new addiction of mine is reading the andrea scher's superhero journal. it's inspiring and liberating and empowering -- i'm more aware of my potential, of my achievements, of my blessings. one of her friends, SARK, had this bit of wisdom: you are enough. you do enough. you have enough. it's true but it's also hard to let yourself believe in it.