The "Bad Friend"

You can refer in part to Sex and the Married Man, as they tend to overlap.

Men are lazy. Face it, if they don't have to exert effort to please themselves, they won't. If they do, it's love.

Which leads me to my next ponder. Why do so many men shit where they eat when they know it'll eventually bite them in the ass? Is it because pissing, shitting, and fucking all occur within a two-inch radius? After all, they are all sources of pleasure (and yes, I'm a Sopranos fan)...

Most hookups occur in the workplace or involve mutual friends and/or neighbors. It's like it's more a matter of convenience than one of avoiding getting caught. Men want their comares handy in case of an emergency; but how disrespectful is that when you know eventually the women in your life will have to rub elbows? Or is that part of the fun??

One friend I know has been caught in a chicken-egg cycle; he dates who he hires and hires who he's dated. I joked once that he had a harem at work, kinda like Charlie's Angels. Little did I know how accurate that was. His comeuppance is that they have all bonded and become best friends; his own personal nightmare...

I've also discovered a new breed of sex offender: one who is in a relationship and makes it clear he wants to stay in it. I once knew a "married" friend, who, once the sex dried up, would go to bars and use his devotion to his girl as a pick-up line. Get them all mushy about how loving he is, but how he suffers from blue balls - somehow, it worked every time...

No one should get away with what these men do. It's bad enough to chase a girl for months on end, tag her and then run back to your other relationship with renewed fire. It's even worse to continue to be "friends" with her (to assuage guilt and get approval) and rub your happy union in her face. Is there a term for that?? Would "bad friend" suffice??

Ladies: if you see someone nearby who seems like an ideal match but complains that he's already in one - RUN. Run as fast as you can (which won't be far if you see each other daily, but you get my drift) and don't give him anything. Bottom line, regardless of the fact someone appeals to you once in a blue moon, timing is everything, and if he's worth it or in the cards, you'll meet him again when he's single.

If you've already slipped, DON'T be a good sport and send him back because that's what he wants and it seems like the right thing to do. DO assert your rights and feelings and make sure he knows that it's not OK to use you like kleenex. Best case scenario, you do some misery bonding with the missus and he becomes as uncomfortable as Charlie (see above). Worst case, somebody's got to move or look for a new job...

You cannot blame the girlfriend. In this game, she is a cipher. Her only fault is loving the loser and not having the presence of mind to let him go. Women are insecure and will cling to what they've got and work with it until it becomes too unpleasant to do so. My two bits.

Men: you are an idiot for chasing other ass. If you shit where you eat where you work where you cook, you will get a virulent case of food poisoning.