You may be wondering how someone could choose a single thing to be the single worst thing in the history of the human race. Well, it's actually quite easy. It turns out that, when you run across it, it is perfectly obvious that it's the worst thing that has ever been, or happened, or been thought of. It is easy to see that this is something so vile and horrible, that it is just plain against all the laws of the universe - I don't mean laws like morals or physics or anything so quiant as that, but rather, the universal law of what ought to be and what just smeging has no business ever having existed in the first place! Many of you may not have heard of this last law, but it's existence is very easy to verify. Simply ask yourself the following question:

"Why isn't there an animal that is part sheep, part flea, part salmon, and part Strom Thurmond-?"

Answer: "What a silly idea! Any fuckwit knows no such thing could ever be!"

So, it is, as clearly and definitely stated above, completely obvious that this thing is in fact the very worst thing - ever - once you have witnessed it. It is even more apparent - not to mention nauseating, upsetting, horrific, and mind-sickening - when you witness this atrocity in action, doing what it was designed - designed in direct contravention to the very laws of the universe itself, I might add - to do, which is to sell fabric softner.

This - now that you can see it for yourself - is the worst thing ever. To hear it speak as it sickeningly attempts to provoke kind television viewers is to feel the horror of a thousand grating metal fingers screetching their way along a chalkboard, except that it's nothing like that at all and it is a thousand times more annoying. To think that this- thing - is allowed to ply its trade every day on the television, breaking into and violating the homes of people everywhere, exposing itself to innocent housewives and children who merely wanted to watch the smut on daytime television... well, it is almost too much for any human being to accept. In fact, I think our entire nation is in denial over this creature. We pretend that it is not so bad or claim to never have seen its ads so that we might carry on our daily lives with some modicum of sanity, rather than accepting the unspeakable reality of this gruesome apparition's continual appearance upon the television.
Make no mistake, this is serious stuff. I propose that a special taskforce be put together, formed from the cream of the most elite big game hunters, soldiers for hire, ex-marines, serial killers, and anyone who likes to sadistically mutilate stuffed toys. We would then dispatch this team to all locations where the Archfiend (see picture above) or its likenesses can be found, capture such as we encounter, and declare a nationwide public holiday for the next three weeks, during which we shall all do the most violent, perverse, wretched, and truly sick, painful, inhuman, etc. kinds of things to the Archfiend, its likenesses, and - hey, why not-? - any company we find selling fabric softner.
Ahem.
To summarize, people who want other people to buy fabric softner should hire actors who can parley the product into profits, like most companies do, rather than rely on sick ideas - ideas contrary to the very nature of time and space! - in the hopes that, through sheer shock and terror, ordinary humans will pile from their homes and, in great numbers, purchase fabric softer. I mean, get real.

This is an idea which may offend some people; it is not meant to offend. Nevertheless, it is something I believe.
Human beings are driven to a high degree by ego, and by the need to reassure and feel certain about their ego. In other words, human beings prefer to feel secure about themselves and their beliefs, about who they are, in one way or another. Most people don't - most people need something beyond their own convictions to help them feel as if they have chosen the correct path, the proper beliefs, or the right lifestyle for themselves.
One of the areas that seems most important to people is religion. Here I would also like to include "life philosophy," for those of us who do not have a religion per se. We find beliefs, or religions, which we are comfortable with, and which make us feel good about ourselves. We choose beliefs that we can be secure about and that we feel are "correct." When someone comes along with a different belief, it is threatening.
Now, most people are not so threatened by a different belief that they go to pieces or feel poorly about themselves; instead, they tend to discount the idea that they are being confronted with. Most people are in no hurry to get know a belief or idea which they find, at first glance, is contrary to their own - this can be a frightening thing, as someone who believes something completely different - particularly someone for whom we have respect or admiration - indicates a possibility that our own beliefs are incorrect or inadequate.
This is why people go to church, and why they form their own groups. By doing this, they can look around at the others with them and say, "Ah yes, this feels good. Everyone here is like me. I know I am right and the fact that all of these other people believe what I believe helps me know that I am right."
By congregating in numbers with people who share a similiar belief, people are less threatened by outside beliefs. Sometimes, people or groups of people are so threatened by what others believe, that they attack the beliefs of these others, and try to undermine them. This behaviour says very little about who is right and who is wrong, but it goes a long way towards demonstrating who is more secure in their own beliefs - if you have to go around trying to make everyone else agree with you, or attack those who disagree, then it might be an indication of shaky self-will. The best way many people have to buttress their own beliefs is by tearing down those of others.
I don't think this is necessary. Elsewhere on this website I have outlined some of my own ideas on belief and why we believe - and I do not see any reason why everyone's beliefs cannot be valid and co-exist with one another all at the same time.
Why must the Christian's belief tear down that of the Pagan, or vice-versa? Why must we decide that one is "good" and the other is "bad?" This is senseless. What's right and good for one person may not be for another.
I believe that everyone's beliefs are essentially valid. The important thing is not what they believe in, but that they do. In other words, I will respect the beliefs of anyone who appears to have conviction about them. This does not mean I'll also respect the person who carries these beliefs, but I cannot and will not attempt to explain to another human being that what they believe is wrong or evil - who am I to do that? We all must choose for ourselves what we are to believe in. We must find ideas and faiths that are compatible with ourselves, not necessarily with the greatest number of others. Finally, we must find beliefs which we ourselves are attracted to and compelled by, which we know within ourselves are right.
I think we find many groups with aggressive agendas (the American Family Association being my least favourite of these groups) and intolerant beliefs because the people which comprise these groups need the reassurance that banding together and attacking everyone else's beliefs brings. If they can control the behaviours of those who do not share their beliefs, and cause such people to adhere to their rules and morals, then there will be no one left to threaten their egos and they need have no fear of feeling poorly about themselves. An aggressive agenda is no substitute for moral security.
Ah, I have gotten a bit off track. At any rate, I believe that people band together - go to church, whatever - so that they can buttress their chosen beliefs, and feel well about themselves. It is the mass-herd ego impulse. "Everyone here agrees with me, I must be pretty cool...." The validity or "correctness" of a belief has nothing to do with the congregating of the people who believe in it. They are simply seeking reassurance and the pleasant feeling that they are right and everyone else is wrong.
My rebuttal to this idea is stated above, but, in summary, I say: Believe what you believe. Just that. There's no need to go after the "heathens" or whoever. Worry about yourself. The beliefs of others are no concern of yours.
(Except when it's time to have an interesting - and tolerant - discussion! :} )