A: I don't think so. It is a term that works on many levels. On a personal level, it means that for now you are going to love and accept yourself as you are at this particular point in time, without placing conditions on your self acceptance. In other words, you'll accept and love yourself without adding the condition "once I lose this weight". This might be harder than you think!

Q: Why would it be harder than I think?

A: If you've been a large person in Western society for very long, you've been bombarded with messages from many sources to "get fit", "shape up", "stop the insanity", "you can never be too thin". Being a large person probably means that you have difficulty finding clothes that fit or are fashionable and attractive. Theater and airplane seats are probably uncomfortably small. You might be an object of ridicule or scorn. In America particularly, heavy people are frequently thought of as gluttons, lazy, unmotivated and stupid. You've probably been conditioned to feel a great deal of self loathing because you don't fit in with the present "thin" ideal.

Q: The "present" thin ideal ? What do you mean ?

A: The current standard of beauty, an elongated, very thin female body with large breasts and narrow hips is a twentieth century development, and has become more exaggerated over the last forty years. Look at artwork depicting feminine beauty through the centuries, from the ancient fertility symbols to the works of Rubens and Rembrant and beyond, through the early twentieth century. The female figure is consistently depicted as rounded and lush. There are no bones showing through the skin, like a twentieth century supermodel. Fertility and strength were desired in a woman, so broad hips, wide waists and rounded breasts were "in".

Q: What about men?

A: The idealized male figure has changed as well. You don't see the "pumped up Terminator" figure in works of the old masters. Even Michelangelo, who was fascinated by the musculature of the male anatomy, did not paint men with the exaggerated musculature that is considered so desirable today. The current wasp waisted, V-shaped male torso with the "six pack abs" is even a departure from the muscle-men of earlier portions of the twentieth century. Take a look at photographs of Victor Mature or any other cinema idol of the forties and fifties. Those guys sure didn't look like Schwarzenegger!

Q: Isn't extra weight unhealthy? Aren't you promoting something that could lead to serious health problems?

A: The jury is still out as to what constitutes "extra weight", and this is something that must be judged on an individual basis. Certainly, there are people who suffer ill effects from obesity. But the "diet cycle" -- reducing weight, regaining weight, reducing weight again, regaining weight again, the yo-yo phenomenon that so many of us are familiar with -- has also been found to be deleterious to health, so much so that the doctors who studied this phenomenon came to the conclusion that it would be better to be heavy than to have your weight fluctuate so radically! The good old height/weight charts have been changed to consider a larger range of weights as "healthy". We shouldn't discount the effect that obesity can have on overall health, but the ill effects that unhappiness, cycle dieting and self loathing can have on overall health shouldn't be dismissed lightly either.

Q: What about a person who is suffering ill health as a result of being heavy?

A: I say that person should find a size-friendly doctor and have their overall condition assessed! Then that person and the doctor should make an educated decision as to treatment. This would include treating underlying illnesses, and possibly modifying diet and exercise, not with the goal of weight loss but with the goal of improving overall health.

Q: A "size-friendly" doctor?

A: Yes, a physician who looks at the patient as a whole person, not as a "fat" person, and who will not automatically assume that any illness that person suffers is a direct result of their weight. This assumption is far more common than you might think -- many fat people have suffered from problems that were not associated with extra weight that have gone undiagnosed because all the doctor could see was the weight issue. Again, that "fat = glutton = lazy" stereotype dies hard, and for decades now, people have been trying to fit themselves into cookie cutter shapes! Doctors are people too, and fallible. They too can fall into "cookie cutter" syndrome and think that people who fall outside of certain weights are just "not trying" or have to expect ill health.

Q: Have you ever had an illness go undiagnosed because of your weight?

A: Yes. I have exercise induced asthma, which is complicated by a specific allergy to molds. This went undiagnosed until I was in my mid-thirties, though I had brought it to the attention of more than twenty different doctors. Because of my size and my otherwise excellent health, I was told that I just needed to take that weight off to stop wheezing and puffing after exertion. When I took the weight off? I still wheezed and coughed, to the point of vomiting, upon exertion. Surprise!

Q: Where can I find a size-friendly doctor?

A: I have made links to several pages listing such doctors. Another resource you can use is your local size acceptance group -- there is probably one somewhere near you. They can refer you to physicians who are size friendly.

Q: Do you think fat people should exercise?

A: I think ALL people should be active! It is just as bad for a thin person to be inactive as it is for a fat person. This doesn't mean I think we all need to belong to a gym or jog five miles a day. But the present lifestyle in Western society tends to make us sedentary -- we sit in cars on the way to work, we sit at work, we sit in cars on the way home from work, we sit at home. Exercize has become compartmentalized into an "activity" -- many people think you have to have equipment or belong to a class or gym in order to exercise, ignoring the best exercise equipment in the world that they literally live in -- their bodies! You don't have to pay money to exercise! You don't have to keep charts or belong to gyms or have a trainer! Move! Walk, garden, play with the kids, swim, caper, whatever. Take the notion of "work" out of exercise. It isn't punishment.

Q: Well, what about diet?

A: Like exercise, everyone deserves a healthy diet. This doesn't mean a strict regimen of melba toast and alfalfa sprouts! But a diet consisting mainly of wholesome, well prepared, delicious food is great for everyone. It nourishes our bodies and souls. I also think everyone deserves extras. We shouldn't live our lives in fear of a Cheeto. Then again, we shouldn't live on Cheetos alone! Show me a thin person who consumes nothing but coffee, cigarette smoke, potato chips and Twinkies and I'll show you an unhealthy person. I don't care if he/she looks like a fashion model or IS a fashion model. Show me a heavier person who eats a healthy and varied diet and is active and I'll tell you that is a healthier person.

Q: What about overeating?

A: Overeating fills many needs, and is a common problem for many people, fat and thin alike. In many cases, it can be the rebound from restrictive diets -- the body and mind have been deprived for so long that a breaking point is reached, and the person eats and eats in an attempt to replenish what has been taken away. Frequently people overeat from emotional distress or deprivation. This can then lead to more distress/depression over weight, and an "oh the hell with it, I'm fat anyway" attitude, so more overeating results. There is help out there. You can stop overeating and be free of having food rule your life.

Q: You mentioned size acceptance groups. Where can I find one?

A: I have linked to as many sites as I can on my links page, but I'm sure there are more out there. Use the Internet search engines and search the terms "size acceptance", "fat acceptance", "fat activism". Feminist organizations can frequently refer you to size acceptance groups.

Q: What can I do to promote size acceptance?

A: Live it. Don't ridicule people you see who are heavy. Teach your children to accept people of all sizes, shapes, colors and appearances. If you are large, refuse to be given back door treatment anywhere. It is amazing how often a heavy person is ignored in stores or restaurants, as if they blend into the wallpaper. Be kind to yourself -- dress yourself as you would like to be, treat yourself well. Refuse to go to a doctor who is hostile to your size. Refuse to buy products by designers who have emaciated models in their ads (Calvin Klein springs to mind with the "heroin chic" Kate Moss ads). Spread the word about size acceptance. If you belong to a size acceptance group, invite a friend to a meeting or event. Talk about size acceptance to a young person who is struggling with it. Learn to see the beauty in every person -- starting with yourself. Think of other ways to promote size acceptance -- you have a good mind, don't let others do your thinking for you!

Q: Some of that isn't going to be easy!

A: Life isn't easy! Do what you can now. Once you start being active about this issue, you'll find that it becomes easier as you go along. You don't have to be strident -- find your own style. Don't bite off more than you can chew -- remember, even a tiny step in the right direction, is a step in the right direction! Once that first step is made, more steps can follow -- and other people can follow in the footprints you leave behind.