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What some of the authors of FRY & LAURIE Bit No. 4 have already said about
newspapers.
"The Daily Mail ... a crushing embarrassment. I wouldn't feed it to my worst dog" Hugh Laurie
"The Sunday Times ... is without value of any kind" Stephen Fry
"The Times is alright, if you don't mind lazy, opinionated, spiteful, self-satisfied bilge" Hugh Laurie
"The Independent is about as exciting as yesterday's Independent" Stephen Fry
Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie are both writers, comedians and actors. They met at
university, where they co-wrote and appeared in the embarrassingly-titled The Cellar
Tapes, which won the Perrier Award at the Edinburgh Fringe in 1981. They have since worked
together on a number of things, including Alfresco, Friday Night Live and Saturday Live,
Blackadder, Jeeves and Wooster, and four series of A Bit Of Fry & Laurie for the BBC.
Stephen Fry has also written two novels, The Liar and The Hippopotamus, and Hugh has read
them. They are both capable of making conversation, should the need arise.
The authors would like to highlight a raft of key thanks towards Jon Plowman and Bob
Spiers, who produced and directed the fourth series of A Bit of Fry & Laurie. They
were, on the whole, punctual, polite, and smartly dressed. Their contribution was never
unwelcome, and occasionally insightful.
S.F. & H.L.
Zum Wilden Hirsch, Bavaria
October 1994
Messrs Fry (Stephen) and Laurie (Hugh) would like to make it plain to Mr Public (Joe), Mrs
Public (Josephine), Master Public (Joey), Miss Public (Joannettella), Ms Public (Jonquil)
and Lord Public (Jodhpur) that the frail barque that is A Bit of Fry & Laurie could
never have slipped gracefully into the waters of televisual transmission without the
assistance of a team of dedicated, highly trained, highly motivated, highly flexible and
highly paid professionals.
They (the Fry and Laurie mentioned upstairs in the attic-level paragraph) draw the
attention of the Public family to the following key Guest Personnel, whose talent, charm,
beauty, patience, creative genius and sheer bloody guts, intestinal gristle and bowel
helped pull the whole thing through. Their names have been listed according to the
following algorithm: Let the string "L$" equal the first letter of guest n's
surname and let "M$" equal the second letter etc. Let "Ln" equal x,
where the variable x is calculated against a table in which the alphanumeric "A"
of the alphabet equals 1 and the letter Z equals 26. Let a shell-sort then loop through
the surnames assigning values and listing the resultant guest names such that those with
the lowest value appear before those with the highest. In a sense, one might say
therefore, that the following list appears in alphabetical order.
Barlow, Patrick
Bird, John
Booker, Jane
Dawes, Robert
Duvitski, Janine
Gillies, Fiona
Law, Phyllida
Macnally, Kevin
Mantle, Clive
Moore, Stephen
Quentin, Caroline
Staunton, Imelda
Those listed above are good people, stout people, fine people. If they had not kindly consented to be guests, well, we would have had to find some other people. We love them, we reverence them, we thank them, we acknowledge them and everybody who knows them.
Contents
Introduction
Grey and Hopeless
Sexual Relations
Smell
Blame
Charter
Channel Changer
Kitchen
Wonderful Life
Dog Hamper
Child Abuse
Young Tory of the Year
Interrogation
Avenger
Going for Gold
Gossiping Heads
Fascion
Operational Criteria
Fan Club
The Duke of Northampton
A.I.
Real Reality
Barman
Karaoke
Sophisticated Song
For Some Reason Angry
Cigars
Don't be Dirty
Interruptus
Soccer School
Golf
Head Gardener
Red and Shiny
Dalliard: Piano
Gelliant Gutfright
Grand Prix
Tribunal
Honda
Pooch
Disgusting
Dalliard: Models
Oprah Winfrey
Religianto
Consent
Truancy
Death Threat
All We Gotta Do
Fast Monologue
Stapler
Time Complaint
Cocktails