October 31, 1998

Happy Halloween, my devilish goblins and ghouls! Do me a favor, would you? Look at your window tonight and glance up at the moon, and picture a time when that big piece of rotten cheese looked down on a world engulfed with witchcraft and mystery. The most common cooking spice was "Eye of Newt," and Hansel and Gretel were rare delicacies in Europe. Humans existed, but only by warding off the evil spirits. Nasty life, ya know? Thanks goodness it never actually happened. But think about it anyway. Then, if it suits you, give a good long howl at the night sky. Then go back inside and curl up with a crappy horror movie and a bowl of candy (screw the trick-or-treaters- they're cute, but we're talking peanut butter cups here, people.)

This week, I grew a little. A lot, actually. I went to my first real concert. I realized that no, it's not just a dream, there really are people in this city that share my musical tastes. Sure, they're all about 5-10 years older than me, but it's a start. I saw Liz Phair, and since it was on a school-night and none of my ever-so-correct friends could go, I attended with my father. No big deal, though, because this is the man who used to work security at rock concerts. I mean, he's talked fatherhood with Sting. In this one instance, it was actually kind of cool to be caught in public with him. And he loved the show, too, which was a surprise to me. I thought he was just going to please me, but no. Thank goodness. But, let's get off daddy-dearest for a moment, shall we?

It was amazing, plain and simple. I know i shouldn't say it, but I was patted down! Not only that, but I also liked it! I gotta do this more often! I was really excited about that, by the way. We sat in the balcony of the tiny theater, and it was just like the bleachers at Wrigley Field. Beer guys were walking up and down the aisles. When the beautiful spotlights came up, they cut through the fog made by all the smokers, and the effect brought a huge smile to my face. There is nothing like live music. The band danced and got into it- they actually rocked. Everything you always see in the movies when they want to glorify the performance of a band- this is what I saw on the stage that night. I was amazed, and highly pleased. I'm trying to convince everyone that I'm going to become a rockergrrl (no, not a rockergirl- ya gotta get some throaty action into it), but they don't really believe me. But, I'm telling you- my ears rang for a good ten minutes after we left the theater, and that's a feeling you can't experience just once.

I'm so tired. Things are finally where I can look up at the afternoon sky and appreciate it in all it's beauty without feeling pulled down by anyone in my life, and now he wants to fix things. Talk face to face. Oh, no, excuse me, I believe he wrote FACE TO FACE. As if putting it in caps changes the meaning of the words in some way. And personally, those weren't the words that jumped out at me. When he said that if I didn't do what he proposed I'd be acting like his five-year old cousin, that's when I really started paying attention. I wonder sometimes, am I the only one who grasps tact and true manipulation? When you're trying to set up a meeting to get your biased, narrow-minded feelings out in the open, you don't insult the other person! Wrong! I can kind of see where you might think it would make her more willing to see you 'FACE TO FACE', but in this case, she's perfectly fine keeping her feelings to herself, being misrepresented by almost every other person in her life, and ranting about the email in her loving web site. But it astounds me, it really does. If ignorance is bliss, they've got to be close to orgasmic, for Christ's sake.

What is 'ophelia'? Natalie Merchant's newest album is titled 'Ophelia,' there's a book I hear about called Reviving Ophelia, and I just an Indigo Girls album- "Swamp Ophelia." I tried to look it up on a search engine, but it just gave me a few personal web pages that didn't help. If anyone has the answer, please tell me, because I have a feeling it's something I would really want to find out about.

To end, my traditional quote. This week, the lucky musicians are the Indigo Girls. Ya gotta love them. This one is from the above mentioned album, the song "Fare Thee Well": too thick the heat of those long summer evenings, for a cool evening I began to yearn, but you could only feed upon the things which feed a fire, waiting to see if I would burn, fare thee well my bright star,...last night the tongues of fire circled me around, this strange season of pain will come to pass when the heating hands of autumn cool me down. and the song "Least Complicated": I sit two stories above the street, it's awful quiet here since love fell asleep...I remember the time when I came so close to you, sent me skipping my class and running from school, and I bought you that ring 'cause I never was cool, what makes me think I can start clean-slated, the hardest to learn was the least complicated.