"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." -- Gene Hill
"In dog years I'm dead"-Unknown
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you
in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." Dave Barry
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing
in his water bowl."-Penny Ward Moser
"The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage." -- Danish Proverb
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend,
and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx.
"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run
from or fight its enemies is lunch." Michael Friedman
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."-Aldous Huxley
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn
around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked
in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." Sue Murphy
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all
nervous and give the wrong answers."-Unknown
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that that he can hold his own in
the conversation."-Fran Lebowitz
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job." Franklin P. Jones
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we
come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul- chicken, pork, half a cow.they must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" Anne Tyler
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a
weird religious cult."-Rita Rudner
"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of
owning one."-Andy Rooney
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to
99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-Joe Weinstein
"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in
the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."- Woodrow Wilson
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."-James Thurber
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with
pets."-Nora Ephron
"Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic
when
sitting."-Dr. Ian Dunbar
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence
that you are
wonderful."-Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea." Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat
that will ignore him." Dereke
Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking
your face."-Ben
Williams
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."-Roger Caras
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."-Edward Abbey
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look
like the dog did it." Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his
tail.."
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation
as the dog does." Christopher Morley
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than
he loves himself."-Josh Billings
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." Holbrook Jackson
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."-Andrew A.
Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it
to him to be worthy of such devotion"
Unknown
"Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your
dog would go in."-Mark Twain
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
went." -- Unknown
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he
will not bite you; that is the principal difference between
a dog and a man."-Mark Twain
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by
a Great Dane." -- Smiley Blanton
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look
of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs
think humans are nuts."-John Steinbeck
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a
child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin
our lives." -- Rita Rudner
DOG SHOW ADDICTION
Why own a show dog, there's a danger, you know.
You can't own just one, for the craving will grow.
One dog is no trouble, and two are so funny.
The third one is easy, the fourth one's a honey.
So how 'bout another, would you really dare?
They're really quite easy, but, oh lord, the hair!
They're really no trouble, their manners are great.
What's just one more dog and one more little crate?
The housekeeping suffers, but what do you care?
Who minds a few noseprints, and a little more hair?
There's hardly a limit to the dogs you can add.
The thought of a cutback, sure makes you fell bad.
Your folks never visit, few friends come to stay.
Except other dog folks who live the same way.
There's dog food and vitamins, training and shots.
And entries and travel and motels which cost lots.
His look says your special and you know that you will
Keep all of the critters in spite of the bill,
But winter's a hassle, the dogs hate it too.
But they must have their walks, tho' they're numb and you're blue!
The dogs and the dog show, the travel, the thrills.
The work and the worry, the pressure, the bills.
Your lifestyle has changed, things just won't be the same.
Yet those dogs are addictive and so's the dog game!
There's no doubt they're addicitive, wherein lies the danger.
While living with lots, you'll grow poorer and stranger.
The fifth is delightful, the sixth one's a breeze.
You find you can live with a houseful, with ease.
With dogs on the sofa and dogs on the bed,
And crates in the kitchen, it's no bother you've said.
The sofa is hairy, the windows are crusty.
The floor is all footprints, the furniture's dusty.
So let's keep a puppy, you can always find room.
And a little more time for the dustmop and broom.
Each one is so special, so useful, so funny.
The food bill grows larger, you owe the vet money.
Your lawn has now died and your shrubs are dead, too.
But your weekends are busy and you're off with your crew.
Is it worth it you wonder? Are you caught in a trap?
Then that favorite comes up and climbs in your lap.
Some just for showing, and some just to breed.
And some just for loving, they all fill a need.
Late evening is awful, you scream and you shout.
At the dogs on the sofa who refuse to go out.
The whole thing seems worth it, the dogs are your life.
They're charming and funny and offset the strife.
