Movie Quotes (T)

Taxi Driver

Travis Bickle: Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk.

Travis Bickle: Loneliness has been following me my whole life.

Travis Bickle: An idea has been growing in my head for some time now: TRUE force. All the king's men cannot put it back together again.

Travis Bickle: You're only as healthy as you feel.

Travis Bickle: One of these days I gotta get myself organizized.
Betsy: Organizized? Don't you mean organized?
Travis: No, organizized.
Betsy: Oh, like that sign that says "Thimk."

Travis Bickle: I think someone should just take this city and just...just flush it down the fuckin' toilet.

Travis Bickle: The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of some place to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people.

Travis Bickle: Someday a real rain will come and wipe this scum off the streets.

Wizard: You get a job. You become the job.

Travis Bickle: Now I see this clearly. My whole life is pointed in one direction. There never has been a choice for me.

Travis Bickle: I got some bad ideas in my head.

Travis Bickle: Are you talking to me? NO, are you talking to me?

Senator Charles Palantine: We meet at a crossroads in history. No longer will the wrong roads be taken.

That Darn Cat

Lu: How do you know this?
Patti: I guess I just figured it out, like, two seconds ago. submitted by Kristen

Zeke: Excuse me, did I just see you talking to the LOCALS? submitted by Kristen
Zeke: They called him the 24 hour man, because there wasn't a case he couldn't solve in 24 hours.
Patti: That's amazing. How long does it take you?
Zeke: Ahem... so what is the file...submitted by Kristen

Police officer: If you're an FBI agent, I'm Oprah Winfrey.
Patti: Oh, I love your show! submitted by Kristen

Patti: Look, mom, the bird talks! submitted by Kristen

Patti: Well, mom, your swore. submitted by Kristen

That Thing You Do

Lenny  (Steve Zahn) :Besides, we're not The Wonders right now. We're Captain Geech and
the Shrimp Shack Shooters. submitted by Jaimie

Mr. White (Tom Hanks) :From now on you'll just be The Wonders.
Lenny: As in, I wonder what happened to the Oneders? submitted by Jaimie

Guy (Tom Everett Scott): Chrissy Thompson?
Lenny: Wait-who?
Guy: Oh, great polka-dot dress, nursing a beer at the back of the room.
The Bass Player (Ethan Embry): Stayed for both sets.
Lenny: Wait, where was I? Oh yeah, playing songs on my guitar. submitted by Jaimie

Guy: If Jimmy's a genius, then I'm Utant.
The Bass Player: Who's Utant?
Guy: He's the sec... never mind. submitted by Jaimie

Jimmy:...well I guess I'm alone in my principles...
Lenny: There he goes off to his room to write that hit song "alone in my principles". submitted by Christine and Lauren

There's Something About Mary

Warren: Have you seen my wiener?

[After Mary addresses Ted by name.]
Ted Stroehmann: I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

[After Mary asks Ted to the prom.]
Ted: From that moment on, the guys at school looked at me in a whole new light.
Ted's friend: You're a fucking liar!

{After the "zipper" incident]
Mary's Step dad: Now exactly what the hell is the situation here? Did you shit yourself or something?
Ted: No, I wish.

Warren (yelling): Frank and beans. Frank and beans.

Mary's Step dad: Well, how'd the hell d'ya get the beans above the frank?

Cop: What...the hell...were you thinking! How the hell d'ya get the zipper all the way to the top?

Paramedic: We got a bleeder!

Ted's therapist: You know rest areas are homosexual hangouts.
Ted: hmm?
Ted's therapist: Highway rest areas, they're the bath houses of the 90's for many, many, many, many gay men.

[Spying on Mary.]
Pat Healy: Husband... negative. Children and a Labrador... negative. Tight little package... affirmative.

Pat: Let me ask you something, was Mary a little big boned back in high school?
Ted: Big boned? No, no, not at all, no.
Pat: Then I guess she packed on a few pounds over the years.
Ted: Oh yeah? So, she's a little...she's a little chubby?
Pat: Oh, I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half, not bad.
Ted: Oh my, a deuce and a half huh?
Pat: You know you shit out a bunch of kids you're bound to put on a few pounds.
Ted: Oh, so she's married?
Pat: No, no she's never been, that's the good news.
Ted: Huh?
Pat: Four kids, three different guys but no rock. Hyperactive little fuckers too, tough to keep up with in a wheelchair.
Ted: She's in a wheelchair? Mary's in a wheelchair?
Pat: I thought that was part of your kick.

Pat Healy: What, you think yer shit don't stink?
Ted Stroehmann: No, I don't think, I mean, yes it does, no...

Ted: Well, listen I've been thinking about what you said and I still want to look her up.
Pat: Who? Roller pig? Are you nuts?
Ted: I thought you said she was a, a real spark plug.
Pat: No, no I said butt plug. She's heinous.

Dom: Here you've been in therapy, you know, thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever, and really it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you.

Pat: My real passion is my hobby.
Mary: What's that. 
Pat: I work with retards.
Mary: Isn't that a little politically um incorrect?
Path Well, the hell with that. No one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with right?
Mary: No, I mean...

[Describing the "retards" he works with.]
Pat Healy: Those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going in this crazy world.

Hitchhiker: You heard of this thing, the 8-Minute Abs?
Ted Stroehmann: Yeah, sure, 8-Minute Abs. Yeah, the exercise video.
Hitchhiker: Yeah well, this is gonna blow that right out of the water. Listen to this: 7...Minute... Abs.
Ted Stroehmann: Right. Yes. OK, all right. I see where you're going.
Hitchhiker: Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?
Ted Stroehmann: I would go for the 7.
Hitchhiker: Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk.
Ted Stroehmann: You guarantee it? That's -- how do you do that?
Hitchhiker: If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B".
Ted Stroehmann: That's right. That's -- that's good. That's good. Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6-Minute Abs. Then you're in trouble, huh?
[Hitchhiker convulses]
Hitchhiker: No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Ted Stroehmann: That -- good point.
Hitchhiker: 7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office.
Ted Stroehmann: Why?
Hitchhiker: 'Cause you're fuckin' fired!

Hitchhiker: Your car seats are making me itchy, man. What are they made out of, cactus?

[After beating the "retards" at football]
Pat: Exceptional my ass.

Ted: What about Brett Fav... ruh?
 

Thing Called Love, The

James Wright (River Phoenix): Your dirt, your laundry.

*This Boy's Life

Three Musketeers, The

Porthos: Come Dartanian, we're saving the king. submitted by Skye and Jodi

Porthos: Taking care of something ugly. submitted by Skye and Jodi

Threesome

Eddie: What I quickly realized about Stuart was that he lacked the part of the brain which
would stop him from saying things that might be offensive to other people.

Titanic

To Catch a Thief

Frances Stevens (Grace Kelly): Money handles most people.
John Robie (Cary Grant): You honestly believe that?
Frances: I've proved it! submitted by Skye and Jodi

John: You don't have to spend every day of your life proving your honesty, but I do.

To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday

Cindy Bayles: He's not going to fall for you. Live people can't compete with dead ones.

Gillian Lewis: Go play with the live girls.

Joey: There's this party tonight. It's supposed to be good. Wanna go?
Rachel (Claire Danes): With you?
Joey: Yeah.
Rachel: O.K. Sure.
Joey (looking at her friend): I can get somebody for you if you want.
Cindy: I know how to snap my fingers thank you very much.

Tombstone

Wyatt Earp: Are you gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?

Doc Holliday: Why Kate, You're not wearing a bustle. How lewd.

Doc Holliday: What do you want Wyatt?
Wyatt Earp: Just to live a normal life.
Doc: There is no normal life, there's just life, ya live it.
Johnny Ringo: It's quoted in the bible, Revelations: Behold the pale horse. The man who sat on him was death, and Hell followed with him.

Morgan Earp: Look at all the stars. You look up and you think, "God made all this and He remembered to make a little speck like me." It's kind of flattering, really.

Tommy Boy

Richard (David Spade): Tommy, back from college in just under a decade.
Tommy (Chris Farley): Hey, a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: Yeah, they're called doctors.

Richard: Did I hear a "niner" in there? Were you calling from a walkie talkie?
Tommy: It was cordless.

Tommy: If I wanted a kiss I'd call your mother.

Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?
Richard: No, your face does.

Tommy: Fat man in a little coat! Fat guy in a little coat!

Tommy: Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into some guys office. Let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited. I'm like Jo Jo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. How I love my pet. So I pet it and I stroke it and I massage it. I love it. I love my little naughty pet. You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go gszdkgs gszdkgs. OHHH!! I killed it!! I killed my sale! submitted by Bridget

Tootsie

Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman): I was a better man with you as a woman than I ever was with a woman as a man.

Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

Miss Noxeema Jackson: When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for a single gender, he is a drag queen.

Miss Noxeema Jackson: Larger than life is just the right size.

Top Gun

Maverick (Tom Cruise): I feel the need, the need for speed!

Goose's wife (Meg Ryan): Take me to bed or lose me forever.

Maverick: She's lost that loving feeling.
Goose (Anthony Edwards): No, no she hasn't.
Maverick: Oh, yes she has.
Goose: I hate it when she does that.

Maverick: Just want to serve my country and be the best fighter pilot in the Navy, sir.

Slider: Hey Goose, who's butt did you kiss to get in here?
Goose: The list is long and distinguished.
Slider: Yeah, well so's my johnson. submitted by Sarah

Iceman: Yeah, I was sorry to hear about Cougar, he was a good man.
Maverick: Still is.
Iceman: Yeah, that's what I meant. submitted by Sarah

Iceman: You can be my wingman anytime.
Maverick: No, you can be mine. submitted by Sarah

Total Eclipse

Toy Story

[Mr. Potato Head rearranges his facial features crazily.]
Mr. Potato Head: Look I'm Picasso.
Hamm: I don't get it.

Rex: I don't like confrontations!!

Rex: Oh, I'm going for fearsome here, but I just don't feel it!

Slinky: Golly Bob Howdy!

Woody: Tuesday night's plastic corrosion awareness meeting was, I think, a big success,
and we want to thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us....Thank you, Mr. Spell!

Buzz: You are a sad strange little man..you have my pity. submitted by Skye and Jodi

Trading Places

Louis (Dan Akroyd): Looking good, Billy Ray.
Billy Ray (Eddie Murphy): Feeling good, Louis.

Trainspotting

Renton: Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers...choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pushing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

Tromeo and Juliet

Benny Que: We're supposed to be normal people living normal lives. Working nine to five, going to church on Sundays: normal. Maiming, murdering, crippling park animals: abnormal.

Troop Beverly Hills

Phyllis: So, what do you do for fun? Do you have a boyfriend?
Annie: Well, that depends what you mean by boyfriend. If you mean a man I go out with...
no. If you mean a boy that's just a friend... no. submitted by Kristen

Freddy: You had so much energy, you were so creative, I couldn't wait to see what you'd do
with it. And see, now I know what you did with it. You Went Shopping!
Phyllis: Hey, I went shopping, Buster, to furnish your perfect house, to build your perfect image, to be your perfect Beverly Hills wife!

True Romance

Clarence Worley (Christian Slater): I always said, if I had to fuck a guy... I mean had to, if my life depended on it...I'd fuck Elvis.

Alabama (Patricia Arquette): I had to come all the way from the highways and byways of Tallahasse, Florida to Motor City, Detroit to find my true love. If you gave me a million years to ponder, I would never have guessed that true romance and Detroit would ever go together. And to this day the events that followed all seem like a distant dream. But the dream was real. It was to change our lives forever. I kept asking Clarence, why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty and he'd  say, "that's the way it goes, but don't forget it goes the other way." That's the way romance is usually that's the way it goes but every once in a while...it goes the other way too.

Clifford Worley (Dennis Hopper): Who are you?
Vincenzo Coccotti (Christopher Walken): The Anti-Christ. You get me in a vendetta kind of mood, you tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincent Coccotti.

Clarence: You lined up buyers for me?
Dick Ritchie (Michael Rappaport): Listen Clarence, I'm not Joe Cocaine.

Dick Ritchie: I don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out. All I got is fuckin' Floyd.

Lee Donowitz (on the phone): Who the fuck is Dick?
Elliot (Bronson Pinchot): Huh? You want me to suck his dick?

Floyd (Brad Pitt): Don't condescend me, man. I'll fuckin' kill ya, man.

Clarence Worley: I mean look at her, like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Virgil: Now the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest. I don't give a shit if you're fuckin' Wyatt Earp or Jack the Ripper. Remember that guy in Texas? The guy up in that fuckin' tower that killed all them people? I'll bet you green money that first little black dot he took a bead on, that was the bitch of the bunch. First one is tough, no fuckin' foolin'. The second one... the second one ain't no fuckin' Mardis Gras either, but it's better than the first one 'cause you still feel the same thing, y'know... except it's more diluted, y'know it's...it's better. I threw up on the first one, you believe that? Then the third one... the third one is easy, you level right off. It's no problem. Now... shit... now I do it just to watch their fuckin' expression change.

Clarence Worley: If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.

[Lee Donowitz is discussing possible titles for his next film]
Lee Donowitz: What does Joe like?
Elliot Blitzer: Um..."Body Bags 2".
Lee Donowitz: Oooo, that's imaginative! I've got more taste in my penis.

Alabama: Amid the chaos that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and I'm amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true. That three words went through my mind endlessly repeating themselves like a broken record: "You're so cool," "You're so cool," "You're so cool." And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would've done if he had died, if that bullet had been two inches more to the left. To this I always smile as if I'm not going to satisfy him with a response. But, I always do. I tell him of how I would want to die. That the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn and that things would be as much as they are now, perhaps. Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son, Elvis.

Two if by Sea

Frank O'Brien: People like us are born in little houses and die in little houses, and we've got to find happiness somewhere in between.

*quotes have been corrected and are in chronological order
 

Created by : Sara
Last Updated: 2-2-01
E-mail: KLAKSO@mn.rr.com